<p>Honestly sometimes I feel sad reading these kinds of posts. The pressure on graduates today is so intense. I have three kids in their late to mid-twenties who have forged their own paths, and it isn’t easy. Just know that in my opinion (and I am in my 60’s) you are in the hardest years of your life. It will work out. But it may be in zigs and zags, not straight lines. I read a great essay on “wise wandering”, that basically said overplanning can interfere with opportunities to grow. Stay open and don’t overplan out of anxiety about uncertainties. Try to accept uncertainty.</p>
<p>Also, as someone implied, try to get off the prestige conveyor belt and focus on service and on a sane life. I saw two Americorps positions today, one working with kids encouraging arts in education. Perhaps you can find something in the health care advocacy field. Do what feels right, not what looks right. When people are young they want to make their mark, but honestly, most of us do so in quiet ordinary ways, and not always as much at work as outside of work,</p>
<p>Many of the talented people I know (including Ivy grads) work at something temporarily, even waitressing and bartending, when they first graduate. When you get a job, if it isn’t all consuming, try taking some fun classes at an adult education center, or do yoga or knitting, or go hiking, and meet people, and things will become clearer. You cannot force clarity but you do need to keep moving and stay “out there” to move forward. Just about any job can do that. (I am thinking of a theater scenic designer who got started by working in a dept. store, then doing their displays then moving to theater. Or a person who worked overnight at a homeless shelter, did well with running the kitchen, was promoted to helping with the books, and ended up getting an MBA and fiscal director of a non-profit. Etc.)</p>
<p>Have you read the essay The Opposite of Loneliness? It was written by a yale 2012 grad who was killed in a car accident 5 days after graduation. Here’s an excerpt:</p>
<p>When we came to Yale, there was this sense of possibility. This immense and indefinable potential energy – and it’s easy to feel like that’s slipped away. We never had to choose and suddenly we’ve had to. Some of us have focused ourselves. Some of us know exactly what we want and are on the path to get it; already going to med school, working at the perfect NGO, doing research. To you I say both congratulations and you suck.</p>
<p>For most of us, however, we’re somewhat lost in this sea of liberal arts. Not quite sure what road we’re on and whether we should have taken it. If only I had majored in biology…if only I’d gotten involved in journalism as a freshman…if only I’d thought to apply for this or for that…</p>
<p>What we have to remember is that we can still do anything. We can change our minds. We can start over. Get a post-bac or try writing for the first time. The notion that it’s too late to do anything is comical. It’s hilarious. We’re graduating college. We’re so young. We can’t, we MUST not lose this sense of possibility because in the end, it’s all we have.</p>
<p>hen people are young they want to make their mark, but honestly, most of us do so in quiet ordinary ways, and not always as much at work as outside of work,</p>
<p>I know a group of musicians.
Some of them have been friends for 30 years.
A few of them are WILDLY successful. The rest are not as well known and have day jobs, but they still play music, but regionally or locally instead of internationally. ( except when they are accompanying their friends), but they enjoy the HECK out of their lives, and they bring joy to others while doing so.</p>
<p>It is a gift to be able to embrace life and not hold back because it doesnt match up with your expectations.</p>
<p>The best law students in my law school were the ones who had worked between college and law school – some at “real” jobs, some at stopgap jobs, but the ones with full time work experience seemed generally stronger than the ones coming straight out of undergrad, and typically landed better starting jobs as new lawyers.</p>
<p>Today, there are too many law schools, graduating too many lawyers, who are in too much debt – and find themselves with too much competition when they get out of school. Anybody who has the wherewithal to succeed as a lawyer, could also find 10 other careers for herself with a bachelor’s degree (even a liberal arts bachelor’s degree). It just takes a while to find those jobs, principally by starting with something and then getting experience and moving on from there. </p>
<p>OP, I don’t think you’re in a bad place. It is unnerving, but it’s a time-honored set of feelings and challenges. I remember it well, and it was decades ago. But you can find work. Law school today is almost like being a show jumping enthusiast – it’s great if you’re from a well-to-do family that can underwrite it, period. I do not regret my decision to become a lawyer decades ago. But I believe I would probably be in just as good of a place today if I’d used the same time and effort to climb the corporate ladder with my bachelor’s degree, and spent the money on a first condo instead of law school.</p>
<p>If you need time to think, then take time to think. Get some work if you can and take your time. If you’re thinking of doing grad school just to fill time, don’t. It’s a waste of time and money. Do grad school when you know what you want. </p>
<p>It’s completely normal to feel like you don’t have direction at this point in your life. Work, live, pay off some of your loans. Even having a job you hate will at least teach you what you want in a job. What part of a job gives you fulfillment? What kind of hours do you want to work? What environment do you want to be in? You’ll learn all this from trying out jobs and living your life. </p>