@Soheils I don’t think Iran is the problem; and certainly not middle-class Iranians. And there aren’t really any countries where it’s a problem for everyone. But it’s something most Americans are hyper aware of while a few cultures are completely desensitized to body odor.
As a college student I was on trains in Europe and there would be some clean, decent looking people a couple of rows away from me. Then one of them would raise his arm or move around and the stench would gag me. This was something that would never happen back home. And oddly enough, it doesn’t seem to happen in Europe any more. In the 1980s, yes, but today, no. Apparently Europeans are a lot cleaner today, or else I’m riding on a higher class of train.
I think you will get the best advice from other international students. We Americans don’t have the best sense of what would seem strange or surprising to you. It’s hard to look inward at one’s own culture. I know that when I hosted foreign exchange students,I was constantly surprised about what they were surprised about. If you can, ask other Iranian students.
I’m Indian, but I’ve schooled and lived in Singapore for the past 15, years and before that in the states. So being exposed to a highly westernised culture has helped a lot, both in terms of communication and socialising. If you’re living in a hostel, I’d recommend getting someone whom you don’t know at all, meaning (someone of a different race and background). This is so that you can get to know of other people’s identity, and you’ll feel more inclined to talk to more people and not just stick with your own kind. In college, it’s veryVERY important to make new contacts, they’ll help in the future. Cheers and good luck! Ok so this housing thing, how do I go about choosing a roommate? Is it random or do we have to choose? I’m going for Purdue;)
@brantly Thank you for responding
That may be true, But I am also very interested in knowing what Americans think of the int’l students, and the advice they have to offer. Also, it is not very hard to give information about aspects of your own culture, e.g I personally have a pre-prepared mental list of tips I would give to a visitor to Iran. Besides, I know very few Iranian students who studied in the US, and none of them did undergrad there. @skyblade1234 thank you for the response. As I said before, I have no intention of sticking to "my own kind " what so ever, not to mention that “my kind” is under-represented.
Regarding housing, I think you can find a roommate in your Class Facebook page?
Congrats. I think you’ll find Cambridge an easy place to be, as it is well accustomed to people from all cultures, (and not a major market for Fox news watchers).
The subway system is a little tricky at first, but not hard to master once you understand inbound vs. outbound, get accustomed to the way the lines branch (the branches are named by their endpoints), and recognize that the standard map is just a schematic. Here’s a decent guide: http://www.wikihow.com/Ride-the-MBTA-Subway-in-Massachusetts
@porcupine98 Thanks! The more I learn about your politics, the more I understand how important it is for an Iranian to be in a “blue state”.
I will read the guide, thanks.
Yes, although be aware that Cambridge is a bit of a bubble. Some parts of Massachusetts, even some parts of the greater Boston area, may be less accepting, especially in the current overheated political environment. (And it pains me to say that, but there it is.) But it should be mostly fine … and certainly won’t be dull…
@porcupine98 yes, I have heard about PRC, MA and the slight difference between the atmosphere of Cambridge and that of the rest of the state.
Well, I hope that the less tolerant cool down in my next years.
Not methods, but “I can’t believe you watch so much TV”. or In my country we walk everywhere. I can’t believe you eat so much fast food. In my country we only eat fresh food.
But “would you be interested in trying some Iranian food?” would be fine.
But if you are interested in discussing political issues, then “The American laws on guns are new to me. What is your opinion on gun laws?” vs. “I can’t believe everyone has so many guns! We don’t do that.”
People love to discuss themselves/their culture…but you will be more successful if you ask questions rather than making statements.
Also ask people to explain baseball or football to you…and ask if you can join them to watch a game/go to the college game with you . That is a way to make friends with Americans.
or ask them to introduce you to their favorite American foods.
General piece of advice: Avoid all kinds of generalizations ("______ people are _______), even positive ones.
In my first comment when I was referring to internationals specifically, one example stands out - linking black people with crime. I hear a lot of things like “That place is dangerous. There are a lot of black people there.” Like I said earlier, there’s no intentional malice there. They are referring to impoverished neighborhoods with high crime rates that happen to have a sizeable black population, but they lack the cultural sensitivity to not bring race into it (or they think they can get away with it because they’re not talking to Americans).
More generally, I have a good example that I witnessed first hand: There’s a fictional case study in class, the scenario has something to do with IT, and the fictional person in the case has an Indian name. Classmate jokingly offers a solution that includes “He’s Indian so he’s good with computers”. To me, it was pretty harmless but it did rile some people up. That’s what I mean by avoiding even positive generalizations.
@Unaffiliated
Thank you for that advice.
I though that was more about stereotypes than generalizing. Would anybody object to something like “Random_ethnicity are so kind”?
About sensitivity, I agree that people from uni-race countries are sometimes ignorant of some of the issues (like discrimination) that plague the world, and that this ignorance may look like racism or insensitivity to others.
Perhaps think of how minority ethnic and religious groups at home (e.g. Azeri, Kurd, Balochi, Sunni Muslim, Christian, Jewish, Zoroastrian, Bahai) are treated. If something one says or does is considered not very nice to them, it may not be very nice to different ethnic groups in the US.
@elliebham thank you, but can you explain why? @ucbalumnus thanks, this is a very wise piece of advice for internationals in general, but unfortunately not practical for an Iranian.(for some unfortunate reason, different Iranian ethnicities make very malicious jokes and remarks about each other without causing visible offense ). On the other hand, I am not exactly a member of the majority in Iran, so I may find it easier to understand what is offensive. (I am a kurd-turkmen-baloch-Khorasani-persian)
“can you explain why?”
because many people in the US dont like to be evaluated or have judgements made about them based on the things they have NO control over- for instance-who their parents are, where they were born , their appearance- both race and sex, their religion, what schools they attended, etc, etc.
The problem with stereotyping isn’t just its content, it’s the stereotyping itself. Even attributing a positive characteristic to a group based solely on their race or ethnic origin is lumping all the members of a group together. Even these positive generalizations can lead to prejudice. Saying something like “[ethnic group] are so kind” can seem benevolent and harmless, but it sounds tone-deaf and out-of-place. Not to mention that such “positive stereotyping” easily leads to harmful stereotyping, like the fetishization of Asian women as “docile”, “exotic”, and “submissive”.
@menloparkmom@elliebham I understand, thank you. I will refrain from generalizing in any way.
I should also clarify:
I do not like to be negatively judged for something I have no control over either. The reason I could not understand your objection to positive generalization was the widespread use of such actions in our media (both public and private), where It is an unspoken rule that words like “the people of Azerbaijan” should be preceded by adjectives like brave, kind, generous, selfless etc.
I understand the logic behind it, and I will definitely follow your advice about these matters. It was fortunate that I made this thread, because I would have never thought that some of these often overlooked things would matter as much as they do. Thanks again, and I would appreciate more advice.
another question : My parents believe that it would be best if they could accompany me on move-in day (If they manage to get a tourist visa). I, on the other hand, think that it may look very strange, and that it may make me look immature in front of my peers. I would appreciate any advice on this matter.
It’s pretty traditional for American parents to accompany their kids for some part of their arrival … and to then make themselves scarce so the kids can settle in. Most colleges and universities have a pretty structured set up to accommodate this, both to allow parents their sentimental farewell and to allow the kids to start their new lives. I imagine it’s LESS common for internationals because of the travel expenses, etc. but it certainly won’t appear strange to Americans.
This is how the Harvard balances parents’ desire to be part of the experience, and kids’ desire to move on with their lives. http://fdo.fas.harvard.edu/pages/parents