<p>Hi! I've typed up a very rough draft of my essay and am really hoping someone can use his or her evaluating skills and tell me how my essay is. Any opinions are welcome!
Thank you! :D</p>
<p>Anything that's underscored is replaced by the name of my condition.</p>
<p>Picture this: you approach an acquaintance, and after exchanging a friendly smile you two extend hands. While he extends his hand with confidence, youre a bit more reserved. What is unsettling is that your hands drench his. With this in mind, its easy to see how his warm smile quickly hides behind a cold, flustered grimace. Ive had to deal with this condition, known as ___<strong><em>, for much of my life. _</em></strong>__ is the condition in which one sweats more than is typical. Its hard to believe, but apart from all the thoughts of self-pity and shame, Ive found life and drive.
By drive, Im referring to how Ive urged and forced myself over obstacles. Aside from the obvious havoc my condition has wreaked on my physical interactions, my condition has tested me mentally as well. The little things, so deceivingly insignificant added to these mental obstacles; little things like taking my hand off paper and realizing Ive blotted out the ink, leaving a shiny coat wherever my hand touches the desk, or drying my hands only to know the sweat will come back with a vengeance. After too many of the same self-pitying thoughts like why me, my life is ruined, I was determined not to let my condition burden me anymore.
It was at this decision that I found life, concluding that I make better use of my time spent moping. By life, Im referring to my new love for helping others. I havent been able to find a solid example that represents this passion, as there are just so many. Its hard choosing when youve noticed how after weeks of practice, a fifth-grader youre teaching table tennis to can at once drive a ball over the court consistently; its not the performance Im concerned with, but how disinterested and sullen looks have turned into a beaming smile, coupled with lights in the kids eyes rivaling that of a Christmas tree. It doesnt make it any easier when after helping out at a senior center for most of the year, I can greet its members with a look in the eye and a smile, call the employees by name, and clean its computer room while casually discussing food with people on the computers. Not to mention when I spent time during free periods to teach a girl how to draw her favorite shapes on the computer, and how after talking about swimming with a boy, the two of us have rekindled in each other a love for swimming.
Against all odds, my condition has led to growth that I cant imagine being without. This growth has given me a hardened perseverance, as well as a love for helping others. In the future, with these new lessons in mind, I hope I can even find a way to end _________.</p>