<p>
I've got your back on that one, boss. ;) But can it be tomorrow? Tonight my kid is giving a speech. LOL.</p>
<p>LOL! Yes, of course! I'm sure the issue will be around just about...forever? Good luck to your daughter on her speech! :)</p>
<p>Thanks , I just had lukester critique what she turned in last week (what did they think would happen? The "Carrie" speech?) and Thank the Lord, he said it didn't suck.</p>
<p>Curm, the Bs were not discussed, at least in the way you might think (disapproval?). Last year a boy from our school killed himself and the evidence left behind indicated his mom was riding him to do better (he was one of the top students, but not THE top). The day I do something like that Ill turn in my parenting badge.<br>
Anyway, I can see that my post should have stopped before the point of suggesting that working harder would result in just about anyone becoming val. It minimized the achievement. I apologize. Ive been a music educator for years and my mantra has been, work harder, practice longer, and youll win. Thats true to some extent, where natural abilities are comparable. But the natural has always been the exception rather than the rule. My argument was sort of like saying, well my son would have made the front page too, if hed have pitched a perfect game. Yeah, of course, but he didnt. I've always preached to my kids that they make choices about where they expend their energies and there is a payoff.<br>
And I also apologize for misinterpreting your betters comment- I interpreted it to mean better in general (i.e. she is better than everyone else) rather than better student. (There are people in the world that think being the best singer/athlete/student/whatever makes them superior to others) Hence the heated comeback. I assumed something I shouldn't have.</p>
<p>DP, Don't sweat it. I've done lots worse. Probably today. ;)</p>
<p>P.S. And I wasn't really even thinking better student really, I think that goes too far, just better at being the top ranked student. No, that doesn't look right either. Heck, I'll just give up and stay with your "better student" .</p>
<p>I've just realized that my older sister and I are this thread. Sort of. She is the val who doesn't make a grade below an A. And I am the slackard dilettante (far more slackard and far more dilettante and in my case who was <em>asked</em> not to return to campus). Maybe that explains my recognition of the I "could have done this had I tried attitude". I wore it for a long time. In my case , and my case only (I am not talking about your kids) it was a defense mechanism to protect me from failure. It was easier to say this doesn't matter to me. Plus it was waaaay too dang hard for me to make good grades and party 5 nights a week.</p>
<p>I thought of this because of the "better student" conundrum I was in above. Take one class. My sister is the better student in that class, she got the better grade and did (and turned in) the better work. But I knew I was the better student in that I understood the material better and could apply that material in new and unique ways outside the classroom. Valedictorian (at best) measures the first better student, not necessarily the second but (and here is where this thread goes haywire) it is not mutually exclusive. One kid can be both.</p>
<p>Actually I never had any expectation that hed do as well as hes done. There were health problems as an infant- I NEVER thought hed be doing sports and there was a time when Id lay awake at night and wonder how much damage might have been done to his brain. So rationalizing and disappointment- no way, and certainly not bitterness or jealousy. BTW, he's definitely more the second type and my younger is more the first. It be nice to be both.</p>
<p>"what makes a kid become a Val or Sal?" Is it nature or nurture?"</p>
<p>I honestly don't know. In our family, unless it is a generation skipping thing (like a trust), it can't be nature. We're not dummies, mind you, but definitely not academic high achievers. I don't think it is nurture either, because the only thing my darling h pushes is working on 40 times and "defensive reads". Maybe my s worked so hard because he listened to me *****ing non-stop at his somewhat slacker (but NMF - Great test taker - full ride at UF - and yes, I think it can be unfair also, but we didn't turn down the $ ;)) older brother, and decided he wanted none of that! I can be quite loud when I want to :0</p>