<p>oh! and if no one has suggested this already, Ben's old posts are incredibly helpful for general advice. <em>blush</em> in a fit of procrastination when i should have been actually starting essays, i compiled a lot of his random helpful statements regarding admissions-essay-ing:</p>
<p>
[quote]
<the only="" problem="" with="" the="" caltech="" application="" that="" i="" see="" is="" there="" no="" room="" to="" convey="" passion="" for="" research.=""> </the></p>
<p>As I see it, this is the entire purpose of the first essay! (Why did you decide that Caltech would be good for you, etc.?) I.e. presumably the reasons you like Caltech have something to do with research and your reasons for doing it.</p>
<h2>Submitting three papers would be overkill. Pick one that is best (or if all three are really of equal quality, flip a three-sided coin...) and send us that one. Send abstracts for the other two.</h2>
<h2>Don't abuse [the lack of a strict word limit for activity descriptions] by writing things that are far too long, but descriptions that are complete are good.</h2>
<h2>Write good essays -- just because you have good stats, don't assume you're entitled to write something boring or formulaic.</h2>
<h2>We don't strictly ask "Why Caltech" anymore. You should describe what aspects of your personality and intellect make you well suited to Caltech. Even though the point is to convey some information, try to be interesting in the writing. Nobody likes to read a boring essay, so it's safe to assume we're never asking for one.</h2>
<h2>Almost all the essays I like are well-written. And almost all well-written essays tell a story or sketch a character with vivid, sharp details (the kind you can't note about yourself without sounding ridiculous). So the proportion is pretty high. Even essay #1 fits well with telling a story about something that happened to you.</h2>
<h2>Well, I might get in trouble with my colleagues for saying this, but the same idea [that it's okay to go over the word limit] applies at Caltech -- write what you need to, but try very hard to be respectful of the reader's time. The cost of an essay that exceeds the word limit is that readers now reserve the right to get more annoyed easily if the essay gets boring or bad in some other way. But if you keep us entertained, we won't mind. So I'd say go for it if you're confident that it's good.</h2>
<h2>[esp. for non-native speakers] But I do urge you to take my advice and have your essays proofread by an American who is skilled at writing -- this is available even on the CC boards. You might think you're far too good a writer for that, but I promise it won't hurt, and humility is a key ingredient of almost all successful applications.</h2>
<h2>Yes, funny and lighthearted is good. </h2>
<h2>Give your essay to a friend and ask if they think it's exciting. Ask, did this make you want to stand up and clap, or go meet this brilliant kid? If not, consider working a little more.</h2>
<h2>Your background definitely has more than enough to support a successful bid, especially with good recs. Now it's all you -- don't be boring. Entertain the people who read your essays; show that behind these great stats is an interesting person (not just a dedicated plugger.) If you do, I'd feel pretty good about the app.</h2>
<h2>I think offbeat essays tend to wake me up, and me wakeful is much more likely to be positive about an application than me sleepy.</h2>
<p>Your idea is perfect, and pretty much right on target. Even though we want to let people know we are happy to hear about non-science stuff too, if your discovery of your passion for space is one of those big life-changing events, then it's perfect subject matter for the essay. And your short supplemental about ultimate frisbee sounds perfect.</p>
<p>I think you should definitely go with your gut on this one -- it's leading you in the right direction.</p>
<p>...I've never once seen a student penalized or any doubt raised (in summaries, committee discussions, etc.) over writing about science in the second essay too, as long as it answers the question about an experience that's shaped you in a significant way. We don't keep it a secret that the most significant factor in Caltech admissions, outside of strong scores and grades etc., is a real passion to do science, math, and/or engineering. Showing that a lot is not a drawback.</p>
<h2>Also, I feel that if your first instinct is to write about your passion for science as the relevant life-shaping experience, you shouldn't adjust that based on the perceived desirability of balance. The essay that the applicant really wants to write is typically by far the best available.</h2>
<p>Yes, the three factors you mention are an issue, but, on the positive side, this situation gives you a chance to really take risks and give it all you've got on the rest of the application. (I assume you'll be applying to Caltech/MIT as your first choice reaches.) Since, realistically, the only hope is to win someone's heart, the advice I would give is: try to write something really beautiful and insightful for the essays (easier said than done, I know). Talk about why you love science and what you would bring to Caltech. But the key is that the quality of the output should not resemble that of a high school assignment ("I love science because... I would bring to Caltech enthusiasm and a strong sense of personal responsibility..."). The bar is somewhat higher than that. Since in all writing, the key is to think about the audience and the goal, it helps to remember that here your audience is a Caltech admissions officer, a Caltech professor, and a Caltech student (the three people who will read your application) and the goal is to knock them over. That's not that easy, but you're helped by the fact that many applicants (often, numerically the strongest applicants) phone it in and submit something formulaic, docile, and typical.</p>
<p>So try to imagine that your job is to write really incredibly well (I always think of the fictional speechwriters Sam and Toby on the West Wing ;-) and try to write what they would write if you hired them. Imagine that you're composing a symphony, a delicate and perfectly constructed kind of work. Aim to get your audience on their feet applauding at the end. There are a lot of good guides on writing, and you should read them for technical guidance... but my feeling is really that a major component of how good the product will be is how seriously you approach the endeavor. From the essays I've read, it's pretty clear to me that most people dash off something in an hour or two. They either aren't aiming to impress or don't realize how hard it is to produce an inspiring (as opposed to insipid) piece of writing. Once you avoid those mistakes, and set about doing this for real, the only remaining ingredient is courage. It is no surprise that one sees lots of very similar essays because almost everyone is doing the same boring, cautious dance -- trying not to say anything that could be seen in the wrong light while saying all the right things. If you shed a little of that caution and talk more honestly, that honesty will be appreciated. There are few things more beautiful than a real human voice breaking out of the page, and I'm personally willing to ignore a lot of flaws in someone who has enough courage to produce that kind of essay.</p>
<p>My feeling from my conversations with the other Ben at MIT is that especially with our friends in the east, that sort of thing can make a lot of difference and can go a long way toward remedying other deficiencies. At Caltech, we're a little more rigorous on the numbers side (or so it has seemed to many people, apparently) but my guess is that a lot of people on the committee would be willing to go to the mat for someone who won them over despite the lack of traditional strengths. I know I would.</p>
<p>I realize that your question was about other schools to consider. And they're very important to think about. But I'd take this situation as a challenge. I think it can be done, if it's truly your dream to come here. (That isn't just babble. I wouldn't say the same if your stats were a little different.) With the right sort of approach, it is possible -- somewhere in the Platonic realm of yet unfinished things, there floats the application that'll get you into your dream school. Now try to produce it. Good luck."
[/quote]
</p>