What did you do to get in?

<p>Yes, ditto what lizzardfire said. After working college admissions for a while, I realize that often people think they are exactly as good as someone else or better when there are subtle differences in ability they can't or don't want to notice. Or maybe they just fill out the application less persuasively. That counts for a lot, too.</p>

<p>I don't expect you to fold and say "well I guess he was just better" but don't jump the gun and accuse people of being racists and sexists when maybe the reason is totally legitimate.</p>

<p>You should definitely ask why you didn't get an interview, but don't ask it in the tone you use here -- "you racist pig, I hate you, why didn't you give me a job, now I bite your family". Ask politely the reason you weren't invited for an interview and what you could do better next time you apply for something.</p>

<p>I promise, accusing people of very ugly things will never get you anywhere. Unless you have rock solid evidence of those ugly things, in which case you should go to court and not to them.</p>

<p>I think people here are just worried for you because it's so hard to determine whether discrimination was actually involved. It's dangerous to assume that whenever things don't work out, it's because of your race or gender; often the world is just sort of weird and dumb decisions are made without prejudice even coming into the picture. That said, I can also imagine how infuriating it would be to be reading these comments if you do have solid evidence that the guy is bigoted--not only are you being discriminated against, but no one will believe you!</p>

<p>I'm very lucky never to have experienced discrimination because I'm a girl; the worst I've gotten is lots of sickly-sweet comments about how wonderful it is that a girl is going into math. (These people mean well, but it makes me really angry. Especially things like being invited to an "all-female science bowl" or getting a book on the history of women in mathematics as a book award at school.) But if I wanted to, there's a lot I could be blaming on gender. Teachers grade unfairly, my ethical objections to dissection were dismissed as "squeamishness" despite having been involved in the fight for Massachusetts dissection choice legislation for several years, the administration is condescending, science/math awards go to guys I easily "beat" in classes, and I get really funny looks when I argue that male pronouns as general are grammatically correct :) I've just never run into a situation where an unfair decision was clearly based on gender. (Sometimes I worry about compensation in the other direction, like with Caltech admissions, but that's another story.)</p>

<p>So--I think anyone here would stand up for himself if he were absolutely certain he hadn't gotten a job based on unfair discrimination, and we'd support you in doing the same. The certainty is all anyone's questioning, because it would make for a very angry and embarrassing situation if in the employer's (perhaps irrational) mind the other guy was actually better qualified.</p>

<p>(//edit: while i was writing that, apparently everyone else said the same thing ^^)</p>

<p>^^ very well said. I would add -- to your last paragraph -- that if anybody ever accused me or my colleagues of racism or sexism when we knew the real reason was something simple and background-independent ("she didn't have the engineering skills to manipulate this light and magnetism machine") that person would forever be blacklisted as (a) irrational; (b) flaky; and (c) someone you'd never want to work with.</p>

<p>(Just imagine, after all, how fun it would be to work with someone who took every small unpleasant happening as sex- or race-related ... "professor! you told me to wash these test tubes because i'm a Hispanic woman, didn't you? <em>pokes out professor's eyes with test tubes</em> ")</p>

<p>Believe me, I wouldn't start flipping out at anyone like that. I already felt extremely iffy about just talking to the guy in the first place, but my grandmother wouldn't let me leave. And my mom won't let me get away with never talking to this guy, either. </p>

<p>Is my tone really that bad!??!? It's not like I want any of this to be true, I mean maybe I wrote a pretty sucky personal statement that not even my recommendation or grades could save, but my physics teacher seemed to think otherwise. I would like to know, but even if these guesses are correct, is the professor going to flat out tell me he doesn't like girls or mexicans [which is ironic, since I'm extremely white anyway]? How do you prove someone is guilty of ugly, hateful things? </p>

<p>I'm sorry if my tone is coming off bad, I just feel a lot like I've always taken things for granted, thinking the world is such a friendly place, and that I'm in love with a fair and equal area of study-- it's a shock to find that maybe things aren't the way I thought they were.</p>

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<p>If I were in a situation like yours, where it is difficult to determine if you were discriminated against, I honestly would not make a big fuss about it. Even if the decision were based on racism and/or sexism, complaining would not accomplish anything. My philosophy is that some people are just inherently biased, and that the best thing to do is to work to overcome that. </p>

<p>That said, I'll admit that I'm Asian-American, so that was probably the "model minority" in me speaking.</p>

<p>I suggest you read, "To Snag a Job Offer, Learn What Damage You Do in in Interivews," which appeared on page B1 of the Wall Street Journal on May 2. Although the article is geared toward people seeking jobs in management, you may benefit from learning the general approach you should have when talking with the professor. Do NOT approach him with a bad attitude or a chip on your shoulder. Ask him politely for suggestions that would strengthen your application if you apply for a similar job elsewhere. If you listen with an open mind and take postive actions to address any constructive criticisms he may have, it may be of far more benefit to your college applications than the research project would have been.</p>

<p>Flierdeke - I understand what you mean about those women's books, etc. Be glad you weren't born thirty years earlier. Things were much worse back then. But I think you are on the right track. Ability, demonstrated in a competent, confident, unostentatious manner, often works much better than legal action to change people's minds.</p>

<p>oatmeal, I’ll give you my two cents since I think that my perspective could be helpful. </p>

<p>I am a Hispanic woman who has become philosophical about people’s reaction to both gender and race. I have felt dismissed and insulted a few times, and I have felt equally disappointed to have been the beneficiary of affirmative action despite some very obvious low expectations. As I have gone through life, I have encountered those who without really knowing me haven’t liked me much because I wasn’t like them, and I have encountered those who have gone out of their way to give me a “leg up” just because I was a Hispanic female. Neither was fun, but I have learned to feel neither too outraged when disadvantaged nor too guilty when benefited. Also, because there is always the possibility that what I might perceive as prejudice or bigotry is nothing of the sort, I have never allowed myself to feel victimized. </p>

<p>The reality is that in this age of political correctness, you and I will probably end up more advantaged than disadvantaged. Keep your head up and keep on working hard. Despite the present disappointment, time is on your side.</p>

<p>Good luck this summer.</p>

<p>I'm glad you feel the way you do, justanothermom, and I wish more people shared your viewpoint.</p>