The first sentence in one of my essays was “Strict parents breed the best liars.” I took a risk, but I ended up getting into UCI, my dream school.
What did your child write about in his/her college essay? College Reps had some...interesting essays
I wrote about how my parents argued my entire high school career about whether or not prom was worthless - my mother thought that prom was a rite of passage whereas my father thought it was a waste of time and money. I connected it to my upbringing in a multicultural (Moroccan/Irish), interfaith (Muslim/Catholic) household and how my parents always disagree about the most trivial, asinine of matters but have been married for 25 years – and how their marriage instilled within me the ability to see issues from multiple perspectives and retain mutual respect for those I may disagree with. I ended up winning my city’s college essay competition with it.
For one of my supplements, I wrote about how if time travel were possible, I’d go see Marcus Cicero give the Catilinarian Orations before the Roman Senate and find out if it was as John Boehner-esque (those exact words) as I imagined it was while translating it my Junior year. (Got accepted to that school with a 30k scholarship, lol.)
I will look for the essay forum.
Funny thing is I don’t even remember what I wrote about. Guess it’s been a long time. 
I found mine, from decades ago- and it was flat out awful.
If you chose professors based on a silly essay and sporting ability, could you build a great university?
@sorghum
Heck yes, if the essay was about being a mad scientist, and the sporting ability was quiddich!
My son’s Common App essay described a place or environment where you are perfectly content…He wrote about Disney World…
My D loves Gone with the Wind - has watched the movie and read the books a several times over. So, she wrote about Scarlet O’hara and how she identifies with the character.
My S wrote about the challenges he faces with A couple learning difficulties - how he has struggled, his goals and why he thinks he can succeed. He’s very talented and got to demonstrate his talent as well.
I’m so glad I was a senior for the class of 2015. I would’ve struggled with this year’s prompts. I wrote to the “place or environment where you’re perfectly content” prompt and wrote about my experiences, both academic and social, at a nuclear physics camp at Notre Dame. If I had this year’s prompts, I likely would’ve written about a failure with being forced to drop an astronomy college class at Case because the teacher felt I was inadequately prepared due to a stupid question. However, from my current perspective idk how good of an idea that would’ve been because I had to write about that exact prompt for the MIT application (though much fewer words), and I got rejected.
My S wrote about competitions in a competitive school district was not between students but oneself.
I’ve read a bunch of essays on CC over the years–the ones that stand out have these things in common: appropriate humor, not too “braggy,” not taking self too seriously, exhibit some complex thought/sensitivity/analysis (not too “simple”), appropriate “voice” (sound like a 17/18yo-- nothing worse than trying to cram in/misusing a bunch of SAT vocab words, or an awkward, overly formal style–sounding like Charles Dickens instead of an American teenager). A few topics I remember that worked: fishing with grandpa, obsession with the weather, meeting Lady Gaga, child’s view of ordinary life during a revolution (foreign student), and a somewhat risky one about condoms (not at all what you’d think.)
My own kids so far have written about hobbies (digital artwork, cake decorating) and, following the topic of “a challenge you have faced,” one kid wrote about making the transition from homeschooling to a big public high school. I doubt the essay was much of a factor in their acceptances. Another kid only applied to one school with an automatic full ride. The essay was optional, so he opted not to do one. Something to be said for efficiency.
OP can PM me if she wants details, because I’d rather not air publicly their themes. I will just say that one wrote about the surprising dimensions of one of her two main e.c.'s. It was definitely not a bragging theme, and omitted any mention of a single award or triumph (although those were actually listed elsewhere, of course). Rather, it was more of a personal reflection essay about how a casual interest in early childhood became a consuming one which expanded her world in unexpected ways.
The second D’s essay was raw and mature – so emotionally raw that I gulped when she eventually shared it with me.
Both essays revealed, which is what they are meant to do.
As someone who works in this field, I an tell you that most of the essays I read do NOT hit the mark. Naturally I’m grateful and relieved when I do encounter those, but too many are either embarrassing exercises in self-promotion (not even concealed bragging, just outright), or --worse, in my book – “safe” essays which are transparently constructed to “please” adults. Ironically, such essays do not please adults but disappoint. I’ve had situations where I’ve enjoyed the raw quality of an essay, but the student returned it to me a week later, pared down and gutted by misguided adults who thought it too provocative for the committee. The soul of the essay had completely vanished.
The honest, age-appropriate, and thoughtful essay is the one to aim for.
Several years ago, my niece started her essay with
“This one time, at band camp…”
It was a very funny essay, taking a memorable movie quote, but she made it about herself and her love of music. She got rejected from two top performing arts schools but made it into a conservatory, with great financial aid, and she is now very happy, teaching elementary school kids music.
My D chose the “standing up for a belief or an idea” and wrote about sticking up for a friend who was struggling with gender identity. Her advisor thought her essay was terrific because it really showed how she herself felt about these issues and demonstrated the kind of person she was – it was neither an impersonal debate speech on the topic of gender identity, nor a vague, mushy “I felt this, and then I felt that” type of narrative without a coherent theme.
I’ve just spent some time reading a bunch of short essays written by applicants for a small intra-school scholarship. These are all very bright kids who all got A’s in English, so I know they know how to write, but a lot of their essays were missing that personal touch.
The real test of whether it’s a good essay is, does it make you want to read it even if you don’t have to?
@xiggi I just want to say. The guy who got into all the ivies was african American and had a SAT score of 2270. Also he was ranked second in his class. (he went to public school). Also he discovered something that slows down Alzheimers. He was a semi finialist in the National Science Foundation competition or something. Also both of his parents work at target, this is NOT a privileged student. He came here when he was 8 and struggled learning english. Plus you know he was president of his class among many other extra-curriculars.
I’m sorry, its just you made it seem like he got in easy. But your forgetting this guy had ALOT of accomplishments. If anyone deserved to go ivy he did
There’s the great bulk of the essays- and for those, I do agree with xiggi and epiphany that most/many don’t hit the mark. Kids generally aren’t trained in hs to write anything like a college app essay, nor in the strategy of choosing what to write. But then there is a group where the tone and the attributes that come through in a revelatory essay (problem parent, immigration, struggles, etc) take them out of “ordinary.” Not because they are hard luck tales, but what’s expressed in the telling, what “shows.”
I can only speak for my experience and, ime, you don’t have to be literal with the prompts. All good essays should show some of the attributes the particular college likes and wants.
I am not sure what parts of my posts you’re addressing here, but I am afraid you are confused about my positions.
In the context of this thread, I mentioned that schools are sending mixed signals about the essays. I mentioned that the essay about emigrating from Nigeria at an early age is hardly what many would consider a wise choice. If you look for reasons behind this, think that it says nothing about the candidate in the present tense nor define his aspirations. Chances that such essay will be a hackneyed version of what has been written many, many times.
The bottom line is that we never know if a student was accepted because of a great essay or in spite of a trite and ineffective one. Since you listed (correctly) a great number of achievements, allow me to think that it was a mistake to have the essay heralded by the press. I don’t think those essays would be much better than the typical drivel I have read in similar essays. To work well, a recent immigrant essay will require a really strong and astute writer.
Few are! By the way, when your time comes, please remember to be especially vigilant for typos and wrong syntax. Edit with abandon.
My kiddo is a synchronized swimmer. Her ‘place where I am perfectly content’ was upside down, underwater!
D2 wrote this very compelling essay, that I personally think, had the admission folks push her application to the yes column. She is part native Hawaiian and she wrote about this remarkable fellow named Henry Opukaha’ia, who was left without parents, in the early 1800s, and swam out to a whaling vessel and asked to be taken on as a deckhand, he was about 14 at the time. Over two years later, after literally crossing the globe he ended up in New England. The story goes he was found near the Yale Library, around 1814, crying and lamenting that he could not read or write, and even more remarkable, was that he was eventually taken in by Timothy Dwight, the then-President of Yale, and he both lived and learned from the Dwight family.
She said that she was a part of this legacy, and wanted to continue in this legacy, where Henry never matriculated or was conferred a degree, that she would fulfill this part of his legacy. She was one of those rare few that got-off the waiting list and to the accepted side–very proud!
One admissions officer thought this essay was quite engaging:
Over the years my hair has been a piece of art; not always for the right reasons. In middle school I decided to become a cosmetologist. I got a Chi flat iron as a Christmas present and decided I would use it every morning before I left for school. Of course, I burned my hair off. It was completely limp and had no elasticity. I cut the damaged ends and tried to grow it back by applying less heat and wearing cornrows. My hairline thinned. I appreciate why hairstylists need training before they are allowed to experiment on other’s hair.
Before plowing into my hair with another inventive ploy, I conducted research to learn how to maintain my hair type. While my new regimen prohibited the use of any heat on my hair and employed single braids, it left me broke. At that time, my “mane” was not my glory despite what the Bible said. As an unemployed high school student, I could not afford to pay $120.00 for a hairstyle that lasted only for five weeks (at best). No one could afford that kind of luxury. I decided to teach myself to braid my own hair.
I bought the extensions and relied on Youtube videos to learn the braiding technique. I watched a whole lot of videos! It took 90 minutes to learn a technique that would keep the “knot” close to my scalp while staying in place. With the technique perfected, I spent the whole evening braiding my hair. I went to sleep feeling accomplished. When I woke up, I looked worse than when I began - all the braids had come loose. Don King’s hair looked better than mine.
It finally dawned on me that my braiding style was suited for kinky hair, not smooth extensions. That’s why the braids had fallen out overnight. I started anew. I tried using rubber bands, more knots, and hair rollers. Hour after hour, I continued experimenting on my head even as my hands tired and my arms felt like they were falling off. An idea to employ a twisting motion while braiding my hair finally worked. The braids stayed together.
I started over once again. When my arms were too tired to keep going, I took a break. When I got a hangnail, I switched fingers. I never gave up. As I continued, my braids became neater and took less time to complete. It took me three days to finish my hair.
I was very proud of myself. Four days later I had to take them out because I had a dance recital and needed my hair in a bun.
Today, I am a proficient braider. I develop new braid styles. My hair is almost as long and healthy as it was before I burned it off. I get lots of compliments on my hair. The best compliment is when others ask if I can braid their hair.