I’m currently a sophomore attending a very competitive school located in California. I spent 6th and 7th grade at a charter school that laid all the content out in front of me and let me do it at my own pace as long as I finished by the time the school year ended. This system worked really well for me but I ended up finishing all the required content in the first quarter of the school year (straight a’s). School turned into a 7hr long session of me sitting in a plastic chair and browsing the internet. To give you an idea of how much free-time I had, I was able to teach myself all the Adobe Suites, Rendering Software such as C4D, and I learned HTML, CSS, and JS. I spent half of my 7th grade year trying to understand the technology behind Bitcoin, and how I could implement that technology elsewhere. I became a power user on Linux and I learned a whole bunch of completely random tech related things. Eventually I got so frustrated with the situation and how boring it was. I asked my parents if I could switch to the local public school and I was able to start attending different school my 8th grade year.
My 8th grade year at this new school was definitely more enjoyable than my old one. At first I was getting low marks on my tests, quizzes, and assignments but after a month or so, I brought all my grades up to an A except for one class (journalism89%). After graduating from middle school I had a long and enjoyable summer break. I went into freshman year at high school feeling somewhat okay. I again, managed to pass all my classes with A’s and some B’s which I typically got for being too lazy to do work-habit assignments.
That summer, looking for more of a challenge, I decided to take Geometry over the summer to catch up with all my friends who were a class higher than me. It was quite possibly the worst experience I had ever had. I spent 7hrs a day 5 days a week sitting in a classroom and doing textbook problems. I got so bored that I downloaded audio-books and listened to them for most of the day. I completed all my tests by using what I already knew and attempting to apply that knowledge in any way possible to get the correct answer. I passed the class with a B and got permission to jump to Alg2.
During all this time starting from 8th grade graduation to the present, my self confidence was slowly lowering. I’m intersex. The feeling of being too feminine to look male and too masculine to look female definitely shredded my self confidence.
During the first semester of my sophomore year, I passed all my classes with A’s and B’s. School wasn’t enjoyable but I was getting by despite that; I was on autopilot. After coming back from winter break to start the 2nd semester, things changed drastically. I’m not really sure what happened. My grades dropped like crazy. I didn’t understand some of the content and this added to more loss of self confidence. Around 4-5 weeks into the 2nd semester, I was diagnosed with ADD and Depression (the brain chemistry one). I was put on meds which did seem to help my mood and mentality but my grades didn’t get any better. One of my parents (parents divorced when I was 11, im adopted) got a new partner who obviously had a disliking for me. This new person moved into our house. I knew my parent loved this person so I didn’t say anything. As long as i’m not hurt, I really don’t care.
Anyways, this new person was always comparing me to my sister (a senior) who has a 4.4gpa. This new person made some sort of miracle plan to get me back on track. For some reason, this involved 24/7 gps tracking (???) taking my laptop, phone, power-cables and headphones. I didn’t really mind but sometimes when I’m feeling really down, I like to chat to a friend or watch something on my Phone. So around 2 days after this person moved in I asked my Mom if I could have my phone to chat with friends for a bit. My mom says sure and gives me my phone. Well this new person who moved in gets mad at me for manipulating my own mom and starts going off about ‘i never wanted kids anyway’ and ‘when I die I’ll make sure you get nothing’. This sort of confused me since I never asked for anything. In response I said ‘I never asked for anything’. For some reason this made the new person super angry and they stormed out of the house taking some of my stuff and phone with them. I guess that’s what some people might call a traumatizing moment but I was in some weird state of mind where I didn’t care about anything at all in my life. They have broken up now and that person has officially appointed me as the reason for they’re breakup.
Today, I have only one A, two B’s, a C in Chemistry, and a D in Alg2. I have been so out of it and distracted that I feel hopeless about raising them. I have never had big dreams of going to the most prestigious college there is but I do want to get a degree in something and get a nice job somewhere.
I am considering dropping Alg2 since I really don’t know the content and I am worried about failing. I just recently (few hours ago) left a whole section on a math test empty. Basically I am wondering what the best options are for a student like me who has basically had a horrible school experience and is failing a very important class. I still want to go to college so I am seeking options that will make me not seem like as much a failure to college recruiters or whatever they are called. Also, parents might be moving and I may end up having the option to switch schools next year.
Edit: Sorry for the huge blob of text, I’m basically trying to summarize my experiences with school. Sorry for any stupid mistakes, I wrote this all super fast without proof-reading
Some other random maybe important info:
-PSAT score of 1080 ;L
-i go to hackathons
-no extracurricular sports or anything