<p>I've seen enough of these on here, so I guess it's my turn.</p>
<p>I go to UNC Chapel Hill. I am in my second semester now, and I can't take it anymore. My last semester was horrible. Grade-wise I did well, but everything else was not how I wanted it to be. I am very shy and not the type to speak to someone first. I had a really difficult time making friends, so I felt extremely lonely and isolated. This got so bad I would cry to my parents every night over the phone or go home every 2 weeks. It is hard going home because my parents can't drive up 2 1/2 hours every weekend.
I legitimately felt that I was going into a depression because I felt so bad. No motivation, crying everyday, etc. I know it takes time to adjust to college, but I just felt so hopeless. I talked to a counselor at the school about this, my advisor, and my parents. I eventually considered transferring to ECU because it was closer to home. Finally I decided to force myself to stay, but so far, things are playing out very similarly to last semester.
I feel guilty for wanting to leave because this is a good school and my parents want me to go here, but I can't stand being here. I figured if I transferred to ECU it wouldn't matter because I'm majoring in English, and you can get that anywhere. I also graduated high school with my associate's degree so I am far ahead of freshmen credit-wise. I'm basically a junior.<br>
So as of right now, I am seriously contemplating leaving, but I don't know what to do. I want to like it here, but I just can't. I feel like I'm taking the easy way out by leaving and going back closer to home, like I will never be able to leave home and make it on my own. I have tried putting myself out there and I have joined clubs, but they haven't helped much. I don't know what to do anymore, and I am so tired of thinking about it.</p>
<p>Sorry that was long, but some advice would be nice.</p>
<p>Surely, you have at least ONE friend to have some relationship time with…maybe your girlfriend (or boyfriend) or someone like that…it’s pretty tough to hang in college with no one to count on as a genuine friend. I mean the standard answers are pretty much joining clubs, talking to folks after class, maybe join your hoops team (actually, UNC is Division One, so never mind.) but you get the picture. Transferring really isn’t such a bad idea but UNC is such a great school and I could see why your parents would really want you to stay. Maybe you can somehow find the courage/perseverance/bravery to make a concerted efforts to form new relationships/endurance to finish out the semester and then decide whether you want to stay or not.</p>
<p>Try to get involved on campus! Switching to ECU for an English degree is NOT a good idea- because you can get that degree anywhere, where you get it from matters.</p>
<p>UNC should be a big enough school that you can find at least someone with similar interests. Also, the weather’s really nice, and according to my friends that go there (and articles) it’s like one of the prettiest campuses.</p>
<p>About missing home and wanting to transfer second semester, it’s really common. I know there are a lot of other people thinking about the same thing, and I really was too (first semester and still some of second was/is pretty bad). But we all have to leave home at some point. Going to college isn’t all about getting a degree, it’s about learning to be independent and making your own decisions at the same time. Often, it’s not unusual that talking to a counselor doesn’t help. </p>
<p>But, it’s a really great school. Did any of your friends from high school go there too? It may be hard, but you don’t have to find many friends. I’d much prefer to have just one really good friend than a hundred okay-friends. Spend time doing what you like when you have free time, especially if it involves other ppl (like I usually go work out or play pickup-basketball at the gym). I’d say try to finish this semester out strong and then decide after a year. I hear that many people don’t get adjusted to their college until end of first year. Also, limit calling to like once a day and skyping to once a week, or fewer. Going home too often just makes the feeling worse, I’ve felt. Try to go home only on breaks (spring break, etc.) Hope this helps, and hope you and your parents decide on the best decision for you!</p>
<p>^ from the post above: “Try to go home only on breaks (spring break, etc.)” → Actually, instead of going home for Spring Break, consider going on an alternative Spring Break trip or something through your school. Great opportunity to get to know some other UNC students, travel, do some good in the world by volunteering, and have fun. On second thought, it’s probably too late to apply for these trips at this point in the year, but just something to consider for next year (whether you stay at UNC or transfer). </p>
<p>Anyway, since your grades are good, it seems like one of your main sources of unhappiness is loneliness and not having people to hang out with. First of all, you are not going to make great friends overnight, but rather acquaintances. Friendships take time and investment. With that said… I hope this is obvious, but nothing is going to change if you keep yourself holed up or go home all the time. You have to actively do something about it. I know it’s super tough to put yourself out there and talk to people if you’re shy (I’m shy too), but I do believe that even baby steps can be signs of progress and help boost confidence. Besides, what do you have to lose? If you’re truly unhappy due to loneliness and isolation, then things can’t really get worse, but they can certainly get better.</p>
<p>I know you said that you’ve tried doing stuff and joining clubs and all that, but what’s your level of involvement? Don’t just join a club; be actively involved in it. For example, if it’s a volunteering club, go to the volunteering events. Over time figure out who the officers and regulars are, and talk to them at the events. They’ll soon get to know you as you show up more and more often. Consider running for an officer position when elections come around. It’s a great way to be involved and get to know the other students better and be passionate about something. </p>
<p>Other suggestions… If you live in a dorm room, go to dorm events or floor dinners or whatever. If you have group projects, that’s another great opportunity to talk to people in a small, less intimidating setting. </p>