<p>My son’s choice when final decision time came was our last choice.
He is graduating in May. We have been proven wrong. The school ended up being a great choice for him. We had concerns about the location and he now admits the town is a pit. He sometimes will ask me why didn’t we tell him the town was a dump. We did. He didn’t listen. The location hasn’t been as big as a factor as we thought. He has lived on campus all 4 yrs as have the majority of his friends.</p>
<p>SDiegoMom - no advice here because we’re going through the exact same thing. At first, I tried to step back and let D (a HS jr) take ownership of this whole process. Then, when I realized that she might be giving up the opportunity for merit $$ to some good schools, it started bugging me.<br>
I will be following this thread with great interest to see how things work out for your S. Good Luck!!</p>
<p>mom,</p>
<p>remember that the stats that are concerning you are just averages. that doesn’t mean that your son will fall into one of those categories if he does what he needs to do. at the school i went to nearly everyone on my dorm got drunk it seemed but that wasn’t my thing so i didn’t let it affect me. </p>
<p>i agree with the others about checking grad rates for athletes because some programs really do care about the athletes actuallu learning and others do not.</p>
<p>Ask if the school can get him where he needs to go. If the answer is yes, let the decision be his. My own d1 announced her school selection last night. I thought she picked the school with a slightly weaker program. But, it had a much better choir. Choir’s important to her, just like soccer is to your s. No, she’s not a music major, just as your son probably isn’t thinking “professional soccer.” </p>
<p>The school she selected can get her where she needs to go, so I’m out of it. (Now, if it were more expensive, we’d be having a talk, but its costs are comparable.)</p>
<p>*Very interesting comments about transferring and merit aid. I was not aware of that. *</p>
<p>Oh, that is VERY true.</p>
<p>Schools use their merit money as an incentive to get the best incoming freshmen class that they can…because their rankings are affected by the quality of their frosh classes. </p>
<p>There’s little incentive for schools to give much (or any) merit to students who transfer.</p>
<p>My 4th one is going to be going to college next year. One thing I have learned is that letting them pick the school is a powerful incentive for them to stick it out. If they feel the least bit forced to go to a certain school due to parental pressure, it becomes a handy hook to hang all of the excuses for any issues, and believe me, there are always issues. </p>
<p>If a sport is someone’s passion, the team, coach, school that supports that sport become important factors.</p>
<p>WHen my daughter was choosing a college, when all the acceptances and denials were in, she narrowed it down to 3 schools. We went back and visited all 3. The school she chose was absolutely my last choice for her. BUT, it ends up, she was right, she is really happy and doing very well and will be graduating next year.</p>
<p>All three of mine picked schools that were not what I would have picked. In two out of three cases, it was the right choice, and I don’t think my choice school would have made the difference in the third case.</p>
<p>Can’t tell how much financial skin he has in this game, but here are a couple of rules I have for my kids.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>The financial support I am giving you for college is good for 4 years. Period. So if you transfer (and all your credits don’t), fail classes, change majors, etc, and take beyond 4 years, you are on your own after the 8th semester. I can think of only two situations that might change this – illness or if they were engineering majors. Not sure if scholarships are covering all of his expenses, but if they aren’t…</p></li>
<li><p>If my kids want to take an internship out of town for the summer (not living at home), they have to cover that expense (living, transportation, etc.). D1 is staying in DC next summer, but she has carefully saved and budgeted to be able to do so (and in fact may end up with a paid internship and a stipend from her school anyway). But she knew the rule and made sure she could pay for it before sending in applications. If you had this rule, those internships in the college city might not look quite as attractive.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Another question about his campus, is it a “suitcase” U? Do a lot of kids leave on the weekends? Sometimes that contributes to a lot of unhappy students, and results in a high transfer rate. Just make sure he is aware if that is the case.</p>
<p>By the way, my D picked one of the lower ranked schools she was admitted to, and has thrived. It is a small LAC, though, and does not have the statistical issues you are describing.</p>
<p>Yes, it is a “suitcase school” and only 40% live on campus. It he stays with soccer and doesn’t get injured or they replace him with a better goalkeeper then the team will be his social outlet on the weekends. If he’s not on the team I do not see him fitting in academically or socially. He would not pick this school if it weren’t for soccer. He will also be the minority as a white male and I don’t think he has a clue how that would feel since we live in a fairly homogeneous area. (75% female, 39% white, 60% other).
I have told him he will be going back to spend a day and a half on campus with the student body and not just the team to see if he is still as excited about it. After our visit last time he was not impressed due to the rudeness of the admissions and fin. aid and that he didn’t have class time or even see the soccer facilities (field, etc.). I don’t know why he changed his mind other than the weather and being closer to home and his club coach talking him into it after reminding him as a goalkeeper weather is important. The advice he is getting is not from any academic standpoint. I have emailed two people in admissions about my concerns and I have yet to get an answer. It’s only been a day but the other schools reply right away. The reviews on one of the websites we read were very disturbing and 80% of the students said they would not return.</p>
<p>*Another question about his campus, is it a “suitcase” U? Do a lot of kids leave on the weekends? Sometimes that contributes to a lot of unhappy students, and results in a high transfer rate. Just make sure he is aware if that is the case.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>Yes, it is a “suitcase school” and only 40% live on campus. It he stays with soccer and doesn’t get injured or they replace him with a better goalkeeper then the team will be his social outlet on the weekends.</p>
<p>Hmmm…doesn’t sound good to me. </p>
<p>I really dislike suitcase schools for kids who are coming from OOS. One of my son’s classmates tried to attend such a school (it was her parents’ alma mater and they wanted her to go there). Within less than a month, we saw her Facebook statuses go from “so excited to be here”…to…“I’m bored, everyone went home today”…to…“I hate it here” …to…“I’ve already applied to transfer out after fall semester.” All within a months time! She ended up at her 2nd choice school, which she likes, but because she was now a transfer, she didn’t get the nice scholarship she had been earlier offered as an incoming frosh.</p>
<p>Ask your son this…which schools would be his 2nd and 3rd choices and why. Revisit those schools.</p>
<p>* He will also be the minority as a white male and I don’t think he has a clue how that would feel since we live in a fairly homogeneous area. (75% female, 39% white, 60% other).
*</p>
<p>this could also be a concern. Going to a school where only 25% are male can really affect the culture of the school. It sounds like the only reason males go there is to be on one of their various teams. </p>
<p>*The reviews on one of the websites we read were very disturbing and 80% of the students said they would not return. *</p>
<p>Oh my! Were these posts more from boys or girls? Or an equal mix of both? This school could not possibly have the “school spirit” that most athletes would want on their campuses.</p>
<p>If your son is used to playing before a student body that cheers them on, then it doesn’t sound like that will happen at this school.</p>
<p>Have you found out what the attendance is like for their soccer game? </p>
<p>Can we ask what school this is?</p>
<p>The school is Dominican U. of Calif. He says he doesn’t have a second or third choice because his club coach said weather should be a huge factor in his decision though we have discussed this with him for a year and he said it didn’t matter.</p>
<p>Maybe it is time to have a reality check on soccer. Does he have dreams of a pro career? If he is only getting interest from D2 (and only this one school?), that is not realistic. I am guessing his soccer coach is telling him to “go for his dream” in soccer, and that is what he thinks he is doing. For MANY boys, that dream of a pro athletic career can drown out all other rational thought and backup planning. Maybe you need to have a realistic conversation about his long term career goals, and ask hiim to identify which school fits those the best.</p>
<p>This is the only D2 school that is recruiting him. The others are D3. His plan is to major in Business and either go into financial planning or who knows what. He thinks that since the school is near San Francisco that he will have lots of opportunities. I just don’t know what kind of connections they have since even my family who has lived up there forever doesn’t know much about the school other than it is a bit of a commuter school and popular for nurses.
Maybe I am over reacting but the more I read the more upset I get when I look at all the great choices he has. Maybe employers don’t care other than just seeing the degree but my feeling is that other than soccer he really won’t like the environment and is just denying the other facts for now.</p>
<p>Ok…Dominican…</p>
<p>Small school…smaller than some high schools. </p>
<p>The fact that about 90% are instate probably means that many of these kids commute or go home on weekends. </p>
<p>Also, since this school doesn’t give great aid, it suggests to me that many do commute and use their fed/state aid to pay tuition.</p>
<p>Total undergrads: 1,586
First-time degree-seeking freshmen: 338</p>
<p>89% In-state students
11% Out-of-state students
1% Part-time students
75% Women
25% Men
1% American Indian/Alaskan Native
20% Asian/Pacific Islander
5% Black/Non-Hispanic
25% Hispanic
26% White/Non-Hispanic
2% Non-Resident Alien</p>
<p>24% in top 10th of graduating class
60% in top quarter of graduating class
86% in top half of graduating class</p>
<p>35% had h.s. GPA of 3.75 and higher
18% had h.s. GPA between 3.5 and 3.74
24% had h.s. GPA between 3.25 and 3.49
9% had h.s. GPA between 3.0 and 3.24
14% had h.s. GPA between 2.5 and 2.99</p>
<p>Test Scores Middle 50% of First-Year Students</p>
<p>SAT Critical Reading: 460 - 550
SAT Math: 460 - 560
SAT Writing: - -<br>
ACT Composite: 20 - 24 </p>
<p>It seems to me that a small private should have a better score range this this. I can understand when a large public has a modest score range, but I would think a private should have a better range. </p>
<p>With only about 340 freshmen, that means only about 85 kids scored over 1100 on the SAT. 1100 M+CR is about 63 percentile. So, 75% of the students are scoring **under **the 63 percentile. </p>
<p>I would be concerned that the curriculum has been dumbed down at this school. </p>
<p>What were the other schools on the list?</p>
<p>I think if your son “sat in” a few of this school’s classes, he would find that he would be too smart for this school.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>As I read the OP’s last post, I was thinking this same thing. Sounds like the club coach may be having too much of an influence. I think I’d have a talk with him to understand more of why he is pushing this school.</p>
<p>Too many kids stop playing their sport at some point during college. Maybe after another visit he will see it is not a good fit.</p>
<p>Hi mom2collegekids: funny because I just printed this out for S2 to read. He was throwing other numbers out there so I printed the college board for him.
We are very concerned that he won’t be challenged there academically as well.
The admissions counselor just emailed my son though I emailed him directly saying that because they are a big nursing school that many of the numbers reflect that program and that nursing students tend to have similar stats. I don’t know if this is true or not.<br>
Once he goes back and visits and sits in on some classes we will see. I have read on this one review site that classes weren’t challenging. Maybe it would be okay since he has to balance soccer and school but I just am not feeling good in my gut.</p>
<p>Having a little fun with the title of this thread. Wait till your student picks the one person you don’t like to be his/her spouse.</p>
<p>SDiegomom-here is the link to the CC athletic recruit forum. Maybe one of those parents has walked in your shoes.</p>
<p>[Athletic</a> Recruits - College Confidential](<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/athletic-recruits/]Athletic”>Athletic Recruits - College Confidential Forums)</p>
<p>All teenagers engage in magical thinking; yours seems to be heavily caught up in it right now.</p>
<p>If it were me- I’d table all discussion of college until three weeks before the “I’m coming” letter is due. Give all the emotions a chance to settle down.</p>
<p>Right now, your son is thinking Good Weather plus Soccer plus Lots of Women plus Won’t have to kill Myself academics and it’s sounding pretty sweet. And maybe it is. But the more you try to show him that lots of kids don’t come back after Freshman year, or go home every weekend, or whatever, the deeper he digs himself into the fantasy.</p>
<p>So take a deep breath and let this go for now. Maybe if you stop telling him the school is a poor fit he’ll figure it out on his own.</p>
<p>I think there are all sorts of reasons to pick a college and some of them can drive the parents crazy… but I think you have many legitimate issues here. What happens if your son injures himself this summer and shows up at college unable to play at all? (Not even thinking about if he wants to drop the sport by sophomore year… what if he never plays a single game?) How is his fantasy of nice weather plus lots of women and not too tough academics going to play out then???</p>