This sounds familiar,and I don’t know if you have posted in the past. If you did, I remember feeling that there was a strong sentiment, at that time, that she should come home, that some didn’t agree with at the time- the response was kind of mixed.
At the moment, on an online forum, I just want to focus on a practical issue, which is her grades- and money. I know a young woman whose eating disorder caused her grades to tank, she had loans, and ended up leaving with a large debt and nothing to show for it. After looking for work for a year, she finally landed a job at a Dollar Store at minimum wage, with loans of $60K to pay off. I know a few others too. Granted, you are providing more support financially for your daughter than her parents, but still, it is a serious situation to be failing classes while accumulating debt.
I think you could approach the idea of a withdrawal based on the practical need to preserve her transcript and avoid more loans. She may not care about the transcript now, but she will surely care about the loans. If she is seeing a counselor and is “in recovery”, she has rights under the Americans with Disabilities Act and might be able to secure a medical withdrawal that wipes the slate clean.
Eating disorders are often accompanied by or followed by a variety of “behaviors.” We don’t know her. Some of this exploration of identity may be healthy and may eventually resolve, along with closeness with you. She may find her own way to solutions, through self-help groups or therapy. Clearly she is hanging out with friends with whom she feels comfortable, whose own struggles make them understand hers, and that is not unhealthy either.
If you did post in the past, I remember not being able to tell if things were dire or not. In this case, the grades and the money issues are clear. The rest of it is not clear, and as others have said, none of us can really comment responsibly.
As parents of kids in their 20’s, a certain amount of intervention is needed but we all know that it is an art best practiced with some subtlety. You are in a position that demands a little more than that, I think, but it is still going to take some skill. Good luck!