What do you guys think of my personal statement. It's to Cal &davis :S.

College Essays
1

<p>This is the link of my personal statement.
It is what I submitted for my transfer UC application.
I'm applying to especially Cal and Davis... with a low GPA :(
I worked spent a lot of time writing this so i hope they will like it...
Do you guys think it's good? :/
Please tell me what do you think, although I already submitted it. Thanks~!!
<a href="https://docs.google.com/document/pub?id=160LxcaOJtIpJopHqwaVqvyQffs_jSUv0er23wa-WBOU%5B/url%5D"&gt;https://docs.google.com/document/pub?id=160LxcaOJtIpJopHqwaVqvyQffs_jSUv0er23wa-WBOU&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

2

<p>so no one’s willing to respond to it :/?</p>

3

<p>I guess… At least no one says it’s really bad…
Sent from my Nexus 7 using CC</p>

4

<p>i thought it was ok</p>

5

<p>I hope it’s good… </p>

<p>Sent from my Nexus 7 using CC</p>

6

<p>I skimmed over it and I think there’s some tense errors scattered around. And the flow is kind of choppy (probably because of all the commas). Just my input~</p>

<p>GL</p>

7

<p>I actually had a eng professor to look over my final draft… Then I had to cut down 90 words myself two hours before I sent it. Anyway, thank you. I’m wondering if the content is good or bad </p>

<p>Sent from my Nexus 7 using CC</p>