<p>My reply when the neighbors asked this question: “That’s why you have a gorgeous new kitchen/rec room/sun porch and we don’t!” Neighbor’s reply: “There’s a reason we sent our kids to state school! We want to enjoy life now!” It’s not snarky or anything, we just have different priorities and different kids. Their kids are doing quite well, and there are times I wonder what life would be like if our kids had taken the money at the flagship (Total COA for two kids would have been ~$7k/yr.).</p>
<p>I do mention that the guys are working during the year and in the summers, S1 was lucky to get some scholarship $$, both are taking out Staffords, and with both in school, we are getting some FA.</p>
<p>Well, I’ll say it. Congrats! (Fellow Wellesley class of 2015 mother)</p>
<p>I don’t know why you’d need to dignify it with a response any more than if you said you were going to Hawaii and someone asked if you could afford it. I would just say brightly, “Well, we’re going to have to, aren’t we!” and change the subject.</p>
<p>I think for whatever reason, some people think it’s okay to pry with college expenses, but would be offended if you asked them how they were able to go to Europe, get a new kitchen, buy all their children cars, etc.
When I told a gentleman (who had money) that my daughter was looking at a college in the Boston area, his first words were “Do you know how expensive that is?” I assured him I didn’t miss the price tag, but FA was generous. I usually just deflect questions about paying, or say, “One day at a time” with a smile.</p>
<p>I have gotten that question many times because one of my kids is at a high-priced private university. I just say, “Yes, we were able to work it out.”</p>
<p>If someone asks me a question about how we can afford the college expense/new kitchen/new car,i answer their ‘nosy’ question with a reply ’ we are fortunate to afford it’. Why be ashamed to say you can afford it,particularly if they are ’ asking’ that way ;)</p>
<p>Congrats! My D is in her second year at Wellesley. It depends on who asks, but since I had no clue how it worked at schools that meet full need, I often do reply that I was amazed that it is more affordable to send her to Wellesley than to the public university where I am employed and get half price tuition for my dependents.</p>
<p>Another Wellesley Class of 2015 mom here (and a long time CC lurker). We will have 4 children in college next year, so Wellesley’s generosity is much appreciated! I have no problem sharing what we have learned by going through this process “several” times now. :)</p>
<p>Funny! Nobody ever asks us that. More often they’ll say something like, “You must have gotten some great financial aid!” But then… our limited resources are no secret and typical for our community.</p>
<p>A lot of people don’t know that an elite private school can be cheaper today, net, than the nearby state university – I didn’t know this 18 months ago and would have never considered the Top 20 colleges for my son, despite his exceptional stats.</p>
<p>I don’t think it’s an offensive question at all; a lot of folks still believe these schools are only for the Old Rich, and more than a few kids have been known to get into high-ranked schools they ultimately couldn’t afford to attend. There are also plenty of horror stories in the news about students who graduate college with $100k or more of student loans and then can’t find a job.</p>
<p>We get this question on occasion, being the full-pay parents of 2 kids with pricey college educations.</p>
<p>If the inquirer is serious, I tell them that we’ve been saving for college since they were babies; we invested in the stock market during one of the biggest bull markets ever; we have delayed home maintenance, buying new cars and have avoided buying recreational toys like boats and going on expensive vacations; and we freely admit that we wouldn’t be able to do this if we had more than two kids.</p>
<p>If the inquirer is not serious, we tell him that we don’t eat meat on Thursdays…</p>
<p>When we adopted our son in 1990 we were asked many times, “what did he cost?” MANY TIMES. Then I realized that most were simply wanting to know if they could do this too…So, while it is a totally rude question, pick and choose who deserves the full answer. And Congrats!</p>
<p>Unless this person is very close to you and you regularly discuss financial or other personal matters, it’s absolutely none of his or her business how you are paying, whether or not you will be receiving any financial aid, or how long you’ve been saving. </p>
<p>Even so, “Why would you ask that?” sounds a little confrontational to me if someone is well meaning but clueless. Personally, I would act as if the question was a rhetorical one and redirect the conversation. If pushed, I like the idea of keeping it simple - yes, and you feel fortunate to be able to send her! </p>
<p>It all really depends on your relationship with the person. It’s your choice whether or not to get into more of the details, but you definitely don’t have to. </p>
<p>One response I have heard sometimes (I have a LOT of co-workers and friends with college age kids) is something along the line of “Investing in your children is a good use of your family’s savings” - not said in such a stilted manner - and not implying that you have enough saved to send all of your kids to college with no aid, scholarships or loans!</p>
<p>But still - if someone asked me “Can you afford that?” I would be so tempted to explain how: “Embezzling, of course” or “We rob banks - can’t think of any other way to do it.”</p>
<p>I still think you guys are interpreting these questions in a negative light - when I always viewed them in an positive light: People want to know, how did you do it? and would it be possible for me to do it? So I try to educate them. ;)</p>
<p>How bout a simple “Thanks, they gave us a great FA package. Let me give you a website that can give you some great advice for your son/daughter.” Refer them to CC.</p>
But then… our limited resources are no secret and typical for our community.</p>