I have shared on here many times before that I was only 24 when both of my parents died. I think that put me in a different situation than those who lose parents at a more typical age in life.
My dh and I were engaged but not married. We certainly needed things for our home. However, our home was only around 1,000 square feet, and my parents’ home was 4,000 square feet. We actually kept and paid to store my parents dining room furniture until we bought our next, larger home. We used it for at least eight years, and I kept the china cabinet for 30 years.
I kept all of my mother’s china, crystal, bar ware, sterling, as well as her punch bowl and matching serving cups. They had traveled all over the world and had collected many unique items. I kept all of those as well. Tons of books. A large Asian silk screen. Needlepoint items she had made. Like the dining furniture, these all had to be stored. We moved into a larger home about a year and a half after we married (my dh owned his 1,000 sq ft house before we met), and all those items were then incorporated into our home and used for 30 years.
So, a few things were going on that might have made our situation different. First we were young and in acquiring mode. I’ve read quotes to the effect that people spend the first half of their lives acquiring stuff and the second half getting rid of it. Secondly, in the 80’s, people were still into more formal entertaining. My mother had many beautiful pieces useful for that. I also think my young age probably contributed to my keeping, “things,” because I felt getting rid of them would somehow be disrespectful to my mother. She valued them, so I should as well.
As others have mentioned, it was going through the house that was so incredibly hard and time-consuming. Such a large home and so much stuff. My mom had lived through the depression and was like the person above who kept bread bag ties, butter tubs, etc. She had multiple wardrobes in different sizes because her weight had fluctuated. No sizes were mine, so the only thing I kept of hers were her furs. Because she sewed she had tons of fabric. Just a LOT of stuff to go through. My aunt did force me to take her very nice sewing machine convinced I would learn to sew since my mom was such a great seamstress. That never happened, and her sewing machine was one thing I did not keep too terribly long.
The one thing we could not find anywhere was my parents’ wedding album. We eventually gave up. We had an estate auctioneer come in and everything left was auctioned off. My parents had a storage closet that ran the length of their garage filled with boxes. We had tried going through it once, but she just wouldn’t get rid of anything. Might, “need,” those fake flowers. Sigh. Anyway, that storage area was simply sold as a lot. The wedding photos were in there, and fortunately, the person who bought the closet called the auctioneer to return them.
I have also mentioned on here that we did a major downsize in 2018. It was at that point, 30 years later, that I finally got rid of the majority of the things I had taken from their home. I am so glad I did. It was the same process - I went through our belongings and took what I wanted and had an estate auction person come in and sell the rest. I still have the sterling flatware, a very few travel collectibles, and far too many photos (though they are labeled and well-organized). I don’t think my ds can fully understand what a favor we did for him by doing that our major downsize.
My mil doesn’t have an overly stuffed house, but there is not one thing of hers that my dh wants.
