What does "show not tell" mean?

Parents Forum
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I’ve seen this advice several times on CC when students are asking for advice about applications. I’ve always been unsure of what this meant. I googled it, and all that I’ve found are articles about how to make writing more creative and descriptive.

I can see how the “show, not tell” advice would pertain to the essay part of the application, but it seems that people on CC have another meaning for that term and use it when talking about other aspects of the application other than the essay.

For example, I’ve seen statements like “your application should show, not tell your passion for biology”. Or “By the time a student is a junior they should be able to show, not tell a compelling story about their interests.”

Can some of you elaborate on what show, not tell means (in your opinion) in the context of an application package?

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Here is my interpretation, with a few examples:

Tell (in an essay): “It’s important to me to give back to my community.” Show: List the most significant volunteering activities in the appropriate place on the application.

Tell (in an essay): “I love math!” Show: The course load, grades, ECs, and summer activities indicate that the person gets good math grades, has taken challenging courses, and has participated in non-classroom math activities.

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It means refrain from merely writing what happened, describe it. Be descriptive and let the story unfold. Best of luck!

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“Your application should show, not tell, your passion for biology” means that your love of biology should be apparent in all aspects of your application: your course list, ECs, volunteer work, awards, essays, etc. The application as a whole should tell a coherent story that shows a passion for biology.

With specific reference to essay writing, “show not tell” would mean that instead of writing “I love biology, that’s why I took AP Bio and Honors Anatomy and I volunteer at the hospital blah blah blah,” you could describe a specific incident that gives adcoms a sense of who you are as a person as well as demonstrating your love of biology, instead of just reiterating a laundry list of ECs and coursework.

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In a non-essay sense, I get the feeling sometimes people use it to mean “Don’t just say it – do it.” Like if you want your app to portray you as a passionate activist, you should have demonstrated involvement in activities along those lines. It reminds me of how you don’t say “I’m a hard worker” on a resume, you have to make your experience say that for you.

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Also, use ACTIVE voice instead of passive. It’s much more engaging and prevents you from just listing things that can easily be read.

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For example, when I applied to college several years ago, I believe a flaw in my application may have been that I was applying for engineering but had only recently picked it as a major, so I had a grand total of one very minor physics-related extracurricular. Everything else I enjoyed doing was very music- and English-based. Which is fine, that’s just what I was into, but (combined with the fact that I took honors physics instead of AP senior year) there probably wasn’t much of a story of me being set on engineering. I was telling them that was my plan, but I wasn’t really showing it through my app.

I made it through the degree just fine, so it didn’t have an effect in that respect, but it probably was a negative at the more selective schools I applied to.

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I think my advice would be that when preparing the app – list the elective or advanced courses taken, the ECs, jobs if the student works-- and see if there are some unifying themes. Then structure the application around the theme that the student wants to convey to the college. The student’s history is what it is, but there is some flexibility in how it is presented. So you list most important activities first, in a way that emphasizes their importance. And also let the LOR’s be part of the story - for example, if the story is passion for biology, then the student should have a LOR from a biology teacher. (Preferably a good one that mentions some specifics about the student).

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Thanks, everyone! This is all very helpful!

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Check out “hack the college essay 2017” for other tips on essays. It says “Write the essay only you could write”…that is, not a generic one.

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One other aspect of “show not tell” is that to demonstrate that you’re really good at something then you should show what you’ve actually done. This is one reason why awards and prizes can be important: you DID that work; you won that competition or award; you participated a special program beyond the normal curriculum. These show passion and commitment more than any simple declaration of interest or competency.

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Have the posters who most frequently use the phrase “show not tell” responded?

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Journalist and copywriter here with over 20 years of writing experience. The phrase “show don’t tell” is writing 101. The more you can describe an experience rather than simply say that it happened, the more riveting the writing.

Don’t: “I ran across the field.”

Do: “As I ran, my breath getting shallow, I could feel the damp dirt and grass as it was kicked up onto the back of my bare legs.”

Don’t: “I volunteered at a soup kitchen.”

Do: “Helping to chop vegetables for the homemade stew made me understand why some say that food is love.”

Not the best examples. But you can see where I’m going when it comes to writing college essays. Don’t just write “I really like biology.” Describe what it is about biology that connects with you. Describe an experience or moment that you realized just how much you liked biology. Relate your study of biology to a bigger theme and describe it. :slight_smile:

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BTW, I’m a parent, but I do have a rising senior. I asked this question out of curiosity, thinking that if I was confused, others might be also.

Because of the great input received on this thread, I wish it could be moved to another place on the forum where more students might read it. I don’t think it should be moved to the Essays forum, because this is more than just about essays.

And @ucbalumnus , Good idea. I did a search on CC and found some discussions about the topic on a couple of other threads. Calmom had a great entry (below) which is a lot more in depth than her shorter response on this thread.

http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/2074058-why-applicants-overreach-and-are-disappointed-in-april-p38.html

"Maybe another way of phrasing the “show, not tell” advice is that the application as a whole should convey a story.

As I’ve also posted before, it needs to be a simple story - there just isn’t time for the admission readers to dig into complexity. Ideally there are two or three highlights to get across.

The story needs to answer these questions: Who is this person? Why does s/he want to come to our college? What will s/he bring to our college? How is this person different from others who are applying with similar credentials?

And ideally it should answer those questions in an engaging way, because it is aimed toward an audience (admission readers) who are overwhelmed with paper and have limited attentional resources. Engaging doesn’t have to mean Pulitzer-Prize winning… but honestly I suspect that many admission readers probably don’t get past the first paragraph of a lot of essays.

And the “story” is not just in the essay – it is in everything else – the EC’s, the LOR’s, the high school transcript. Best if it all hangs together in some cohesive way.

And yes, by the time the student is a senior, most of the story elements have already been set. So part of the task of the applicant is to put those pieces together for admissions, in a way that conveys what the student wants to convey. If, at that time the student doesn’t already have well-developed interests or activities, then maybe their story has to be one that focuse on their intellectual curiousity and desire to explore… but one way or another, a story needs to be told.

So here’s an analogy: imagine each student has a handful of lego bricks to work with. All lego bricks, by design, can be assembled into something. But lego bricks come in different sizes, shapes & colors and each student has different ones. Maybe some students have more and some have less. The task for the college application is to assemble those bricks into something recognizable – part of that task may be deciding which bricks to use and which to set aside. Because if two students happen to have the same set of lego bricks to work with – and one simply submits them all in one loose pile, or sticks them together in some sort of random, abstract way — and the other uses the legos to build a little model airplane … it’s not hard to predict which one would be chosen over the other."

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It does NOT need to be a simple story.

Application readers do read beyond the first paragraph of one’s application essays.

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I frequently remind, “Show, not just tell,” so I’ll pipe in.

What Infinite says is probably what OP saw online, the idea of making it tingle the senses. Not quite, for a college app essay, which is for an admit review, not pleasure- and not a leisurely read…

Nearly every single poster hit it:
Let the readers see for themselves the traits they want and need in the class. It’s not envisioning the movie, so to say, or smelling the smells. It’s not just declaring.

A lot of kids, eg, write that they developed some awareness or compassion. But they never back that up, don’t offer an example or two that shows how that experience now evolved them or their perspective in some actve way. They just say it did.

If a college wants to see openmindedness, give them an example that shows you’re that. Not just “I value this and now Iead the pie club and we have 7 members.”

It’s not rocket science, just a style awareness and skill. You want to lead the horse to water but have them see it themselves. Relevant and recent enough.

adding: it often pays best to be a simple story. Unlike pleasure reading or analysis, they don’t need all the He said, She said, and I remembered what Mr xxx said in 7th grade English class and blah blah blah.

That’s why the old challenge prompt worked so well (and you can still use it.) Describing the events has it’s own timeline, you carefully edit that down to the essentials. By it’s nature, overcoming some challenge (not life threatening, just a new experience) leads to a fresh perspective and you can give an example or two of how you changed.

Plus, way better to be under one page on the Personal Statement. Nothing lengthy is needed. Editing is a skill.

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the application should be a story. one that comes together thru ECs, essays and recs…

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Editing is more than a skill. It’s the hardest part of quality writing (or film making for that matter). The essay could be written in an hour (or less), but the editing could go on for days before it’s just right. Very valuable real estate!

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Not “I love biology”, but “Since I was little I’ve been fascinated by animals. I used to observe tadpoles becoming frogs on grandma’s farm. When I dissect frogs I remember what I learned back then.”

Or when my older son wanted to convey his love of computer science he wrote a program that combined phrases from sample college essays from the internet. His first paragraph was the nonsense it produced. His next paragraph was something like, “I’d rather write a computer program, then write an essay, so while I was procrastinating I wrote a program to write an essay for me. As you can see it needs a little work.”

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Love this example - it shows the student’s personality, creativity and a sense of humor.