<p>Some great ideas here! I better get busy with my 15-year-old! </p>
<p>After reading intparent’s post, I did ask him what he would do if he had to mail something in a large manila envelope. His first question was, “Do I already have the envelope or do I have to go to the post office or maybe CVS to get one?” This was a promising start. I replied, “Let’s say you already have it. What would you do to mail it?” He said, “Take it to the post office so they can weigh it.” Test #1 passed! And he already cleans his own bathroom. Well, I guess that depends on how you define “clean.”</p>
<p>But I did think of another thing he ought to learn do himself before he leaves home … buying an airline ticket online. This isn’t rocket science either, but it wouldn’t hurt to have a veteran flyer walk him through it the first time, before he finds himself routed through Milwaukee to get from, say, Philadelphia to Hartford.</p>
<p>My D did not know to always carry some emergency cash. As in, real money, when traveling. She came down to a sporting event where she had to pay $5 for parking. Neither she, nor her BF had any cash to pay. Her generation relies on debit cards and such…</p>
<ul>
<li>both of mine did not know how to re-order prescriptions</li>
<li>put gas in car, check air in tires, etc., since Dad always handled…</li>
<li>write checks (“Why? I do everything online!”-- yeah, but new landlord doesn’t!)</li>
<li>balance checkbook (“online tells me my balance”)</li>
<li>flip a breaker (S, in new apartment, went for a week with no hot water, taking showers
at rec center on campus. I reminded him that, while yes, we were paying for hot
water on campus, we were also paying rent, including hot water, in apartment.<br>
He finally contacted landlord…who taught him how to flip a breaker!)</li>
<li>how the pieces in toilet tank are supposed to work. S, in frat house, had chain with
red tape hanging out of toilet tank, to pull when flushing was needed! (I’m sure
that charmed the ladies!) Basically, it just came unhooked from arm, which H
fixed in two seconds. At first, S did a big “ewww”…didn’t realize that the water
in the tank is not the same as what he “deposits” in the bowl…</li>
</ul>
<p>My college senior flew from his college town to the west coast for a family wedding. I was proud that he made all of his arrangements himself- finding flights that meant missing no classes, taking the taxi to the airport, etc. However he called from the airport wanting to know which airline he was taking for the first leg of his flight! Compulsive mom had made a copy of the itinerary and had it in her purse at the destination when the call came. Apparently he only had enough free printer pages and time to do a class assignment that morning. Don’t know why the data wasn’t on his smart phone- he also forgot the charger and ours were not compatible.</p>
<p>btw- his hair was longer than mine, the curls were very evident, almost in his eyes. With sons it is always interesting to see what their current choices are for hair- head and face- with each visit home. We had thought he should have a haircut during winter break, this was a couple of months later (and we have photographic evidence of his dad with similar length hair at that age). It didn’t matter for the very casual wedding, however.</p>
<p>This is not exactly the same but my son told me while in HS that he didn’t know you could just put in $10 or $15 dollars of gas in a car since I always filled ours up when I went to the gas station. And if I sent him to get gas, I had him fill it.</p>
<p>He discovered this when a friend only asked for a set dollar amount when he went with a friend to get gas in the friend’s car.</p>
<p>I think every family with a car should teach teens how to drive (even if they opt to too continue driver permit / avoid insurance fees). </p>
<p>Also it would be good to know how to change a tire, even if Plan A will be to call AAA. (My son thought he knew how. He didn’t believe me that it is best to loosen/“crack” the lug nuts before jacking up the car. He believes me now.)</p>
<p>My little cousin didn’t know that if you paid $50 for gas (in cash) but only put in $48.10 that they owed you change. He was embarrassed to go ask for it haha! Another cousin arrived at an airport and needed correct change for a ride. He didn’t know what to do since he only had a $20. He didn’t think to buy a candy bar or something to break it down.</p>
<p>Our dd and her friends didn’t know that you had to stand on a certain side of the street to take a bus according to what direction you wanted to go. they were so proud to find the right bus to go to the Golden Gate bridge…until a kind stranger told them they were going the wrong way.</p>
<p>I would say that how to save receipts and return stuff to stores if something is wrong with it or if it not going to work for you. But do it quickly and pay attention to a store’s return policy. My kids have seen me do it plenty of times but I am not sure if they have or would do it.</p>
<p>I’m happy to say my adult kids were taught most of these and can both sew at least basic repairs and buttons, cook at least basic meals, shop for food in the most affordable and efficient way, use an ATM ,write a check, etc. They began doing their own laundry at about 12 or 13. They both took driver’s ed which taught basic road safety and how to check oil, change tires, etc. They both knew how to make change, how to GET change, and how to mail things.</p>
<p>I’ve done a check today with my almost 13 yo and she knows most of this except the car stuff. Most of it is just observing what goes on around her. Bus riding is something you DO have to teach if a kid doesn’t grow up in a city with bus service, but even the small towns now have online trip planners that tell you exactly where to go and how to get to a destination. Youngest doesn’t ride alone yet-but knows how. When she starts driving we’ll make sure she learns car upkeep.</p>
<p>A lot of these things are just basic chores kids learn growing up-or should. Some of the other things, like ATM use and banking, car upkeep, are things that hopefully your kids see when you’re going about daily life and you point them out as you go. Sewing and cooking are survival skills everyone needs. I know they can look it all up online-D Googles EVERY.THING. But it helps to have my input as well when she tries something new.</p>
<p>Over the last 3 years of my son’s college life, I’ve given him some basic etiquette rules that a kid might not know unless brought to his attention. Now that he’s receiving his own wedding invitations (no longer “…and son”) I explained how important it is to rsvp, and what to do about a gift. I told him that when he’s invited to a friend’s house for an extended period, he should either buy a gift for the hosts or take them to dinner. One of his peer’s parents died, and I walked him through the process of sending a sympathy card (what kinds of things to write) and how to navigate attending a wake.</p>
<p>So it’s the little social responsibilities that were formerly his parents’ obligations and now they’re his. It’s all new territory for young people.</p>
<p>Teach your kids how to grocery shop! It seems simple, but I’ve met many college kids who just flatout have no idea what to do at a grocery store. It’s almost like the food just magically appeared for the first 18 years of their life (I’m dating one of these kids. Teaching him to go grocery shopping when we started living together was definitely one of my most frustrating, hilarious, and fondest memories- but I weep for those who are trying it on their own with a limited budget! lol)</p>
<p>Last week D’s roommate put a plastic container on the bottom rack of the dishwasher and it melted. She did not know what the heating element was.</p>
<p>She scratched the bottom of a noon-stick pan while stirring something with a metal spoon. She did not use to use a wooden spoon.</p>
<p>Reading the signs at the train station, she asked what the “third rail is”. </p>
<p>She is a junior in college, will be 21 next month, and grew up in the suburbs of a big city. </p>
<p>I screw this one up more often than not here in the office. I have a hard time remembering when I have to use the “1”, when I have to use the area code, and when I can just dial the number… I mess up faxes for the same reason…</p>
<p>S2 needed to pay a utility bill for his off campus house. He had forgotten about it and suddenly realized it was the last day to pay. He called me so I could transfer $ to his acct. The utility company didn’t take credit cards and he didn’t have time to go get cash and make it to the office before closing time. I told him to just take his check book and write a check to the utility co.</p>
<p>He was completely surprised that writing a check to pay a bill at a place of business was acceptable. Up until then, he had only written checks to his landlord or to one of his roommates who was paying a household bill. Otherwise, S2 had paid all bills online.</p>
<p>He kept asking me if I was SURE they would take a check. I reassured him that people paid bills with checks all the time or at least they did in “the old days”.
He followed my advice and whadaya know…they took the check. </p>
<p>S2 worked as a cashier in a grocery store all through h.s. so I would have thought the check paying would not be foreign to him. Maybe people don’t write checks at the grocery store anymore.</p>
<p>I havn’t used a check at the grocery store in years. Now that DS is out of HS, I imagine my check writing will go down even more since school items were what i used to use checks for.</p>
<p>S cleans his own bathroom at home, does his own laundry and supposedly cleans his room. Doing those things at home under duress (my prodding) does not mean he does them elsewhere. My experience is the bathroom at school will never get cleaned, laundry only gets done when he is out of clean clothes and cleanliness of room depends on roommate. </p>
<p>I did receive two panic phone calls from S last year. Once when the van taking him to the airport forgot to pick him up and another time when he missed his flight. I asked him when the van was late/forgot to pick him up if he had the number for service. “yes.” So does it make any sense for me to call them from 1100 miles away or do you think you should call them. He made the call. After he missed his flight I directed him to the nearby agent who helpfully found him another flight. In both instances, help was available but he needed help pointing him in the right direction.</p>
<p>He still does not do a good job keeping track of the amount of cash available in his checking account when he writes a check. He always forgets to account for it .
Although we keep encouraging him to use a check register, he never does.</p>
<p>We have a list of skills that S needs to learn this year before he leaves for college: tie a tie, iron a shirt, fold dress pants along a crease, determine which clothes go to the dry cleaner and when. He’s a music major and will have several suits and a tuxedo to take care of.</p>