<p>“But my personal evaluation does not make my state school more highly ranked than that Ivy League college.”</p>
<p>Depends on your intended major, unless you covet getting into investment banking, where an Ivy League diploma is almost always favored, regardless of major. This is where choosing a college gets exponentially more intricate than deciding between high schools.</p>
<p>A small but important consideration is the “end goal” in mind for attending a boarding school. I think we can agree that most of the top 30 schools can all provide a good education. </p>
<p>So, what OTHER reasons make you apply? In our case, we have an only child that would benefit, on a personal level, from the joys and challenges of living in community. In addition, the independent living skills that are part and parcel of the boarding school experience cannot be overlooked. I would argue that choosing a school based on the “wow” factor of the name, or based on how many Ivies kids typically get admitted to, is a bit limiting. Having said that, if that is the reason YOUR family has, then who am I to say it is wrong. </p>
<p>All of this was my long-winded way of saying that what makes a top boarding school is a very subjective thing! :-)</p>
<p>The problem I have with college matriculation lists is again, the prestige factor. Personally, as an almost-thirteen-year-old, I don’t want to go to Harvard or Princeton or MIT. I want to go to Wellesley. But on many charts listing where graduates have continued their educations, HYP-MS is the fist column. It’s the first thing people will see. If the percentage in that column is low, someone may be turned off and no longer interested in that school. What if many of the students didn’t want to go to Yale or Stanford? What if they wanted Haverford or Oberlin or Johns Hopkins? That could say something different than the impulsive “this school is terrible, only 10% went to Ivies or MIT or Stanford.” It’s possible that those students seek a smaller environment and less competitive sports and didn’t want to go to what some people see as the “best” based solely on ranking.</p>
<p>RE: "I would argue that choosing a school based on the “wow” factor of the name, or based on how many Ivies kids typically get admitted to, is a bit limiting. "</p>
<p>Not necessarily. How many Ivies the kids typically get admitted to is important because it is a real-world gauge of the caliber of classmates your kid will swim with. You kid may never get close to an Ivy even if he/she graduates from such a school. However, going to school with Ivy-caliber kids ensures, by proxy, that your kid will experience some of the interpersonal richness and depth of insight and discussion that exist at an Ivy. In some sense, if you believe that the Ivies offer a unique experience because of the caliber of the kids they educate, you get that caliber at the best prep schools and so, by extension, you get the Ivy education even at the prep level. So, yeah, sadly, go big (Exeter, Andover) or go home.</p>
<p>I do not think Exeter and Andover or Harvard and Yale are such bad schools that if a student is admitted and matriculates the outcome will necessarily be poor because of a bad “fit”. Human beings are remarkably adaptable organisms. Most admits are from public schools where choice was determined by zip code alone. The’re over a billion international students who would die to attend any of these schools if they were lucky enough to be admitted and could afford the cost. What’s all the fuss about? Be confident in your school choice. It will not be the same as others and you may not ultimately be the chosen one by the schools you select. For most, the educational option is not “any” boarding school…at all costs.</p>
<p>I understand the Go Big or Stay Home strategy, but I’m not convinced people give the aftermath enough consideration. I don’t believe kids process this strategy as well as their parents. You see it all the time after March 10th- the ensuing panic once a parent is faced with a heartbroken kid. I guess some parents don’t feel the need to think that far ahead- or perhaps they believe the gamble far exceeds the cost. </p>
<p>After all, there’s no cost or emotion attached to the SS application process- right? Kids just walk the halls, dispassionately sit in on classes, never once imagine themselves there, or obsess over the school website late at night … Nope. Not my kid. My worldly thirteen year old will just move on and never look back. My guess is- and this is only a guess: Not always.</p>
<p>@photo</p>
<p>You are absolutely correct. I know that negative results can be very depressing for a child. (I am one !!!)</p>
<p>PhotographerMom: You are quite right. Some parents and their children are not quite prepared for the disappointment of “failure”. It’s never easy. As a former athlete, with children who play sports competitively, a loss and disappointment is hard to swallow sometimes. But, one learns to get over this and get ready for the next game and challenge. Much like a surgeon who loses a patient on the table in the morning but must move on to the next tough case in the afternoon. </p>
<p>A disappointment from a boarding school admission’s decision is no justification for applying to a “Podunk” BS simply to gain acceptance and assuage potential disappointment. </p>
<p>If one’s goal is boarding school at all costs then I advise one search for all the hidden gems leaving no stone unturned. Applying to a handful of select schools may be a poor strategy given this aim or objective. There are hidden boarding school gems in every State of the Union, Europe, Asia and Africa.</p>
<p>As long as the parameters and possible outcomes (especially the likelihood of failures) are thoroughly discussed in the beginning of the process, kids are incredibly resilient and can handle the frustrations well. We see many more kids are dealing with another kind of “go big or go home” - apply to 15 schools, and see which one provides FA or most FA. Go with the money, regardless how much another school would be a better fit. If no school gives enough money, go home… Compared with them, would it “kill you” to go to a well known school that’s rightly or wrongly considered a “top school”? On the other hand, if you are sure a certain school is the best fit for your kid, of course why do you care if it’s a top school? </p>
<p>Regarding OP’s question, I agree with jmilton. “top school” and “your favorite school” are two different things, conceptually. It’s like talking about Fortune 500 companies and companies you love or benefit from…</p>
<p>^ Precisely why I predicate the “ranking” of a school on solid statistics. The notion of “fit” and “feel” is too arbitrary and individualized and depends too much on sundry intangibles to be used to determine where a school ranks objectively.</p>
<p>This is boarding school we’re talking about, not college. It’s not some sort of plug and play deal. The idea that you can stick a bright kid in any top ten school and more often than not they’ll come out smelling like roses misses the point. Between the ages of 13-17, kids are forming values, behavior patterns, interpersonal skills, habits, opinions, even basic outlooks on life. This isn’t conceptual conceit; brain chemistry and physical development are changing rapidly and permanently. Making a top boarding school determination primarily or solely on the basis of stats seems like a dangerous role of the dice. Every family is different; we were just as serious about personality match as we were about academic outcomes. I admire the OP and his family because, at the end of the day, they tuned out the HADES white noise (even though the daughter had been admitted to one) and went with SAS because it offered the best fit across all criteria.</p>
<p>Thanks of all the PsOV…still catching up after a few days off the board. Note that I know that college is different —*just put that in there for sake of illustration. Though I have heard about some families who are of the “If you don’t get into Harvard, Yale, or Princeton…Rutgers it is!” mindset.</p>
<p>
This too is a generalization just as the statement “you can stick a bright kid in any top ten school and more often than not they’ll come out smelling like roses”. There are kids who will! But let me take a step back. You know your kids best. If you believe there’s such a school that fits your kids significantly better than others, and that such a fit is vitally important for his/her growth, who are we to argue otherwise? No need to “mess with” the concept/idea of “top schools” though. It’s a different matter, IMO.</p>
<p>Here’s the simple truth: All boarding schools are the same- it’s the culture that varies. Ask any current student, alum, parent or former parent and they’ll tell you exactly the same thing.</p>
<p>People who wave off great schools with words like “podunk” and use terms like “Trust Fund Baby” are usually the types that get their information from some business magazine. You know- the ones that rave and rank and are written by some person who has never been near a BS campus in his/her life. Good luck with that.</p>
<p>Benley, we’re speaking past each other, I think. If you believe that your child will turn out differently based on the culture of a particular boarding school AND if that influence is just as important to you as the academic outcome, then stats and fit should be weighted equally. </p>
<p>Most parents have, at one point or another, worried about the influence of a particular friend or set of friends on their child because they want to avoid or encourage a specific impact. I think of a boarding school like a close friend, someone who will intimately impact your child’s life during four of their most formative years. For me, this means the school’s values, its honor code, its warmth (or lack of warmth), its headmaster and faculty, the treatment of students by other students and a host of other markers large and small - the school culture - is no less important to me than any hard statistic in making a “top” boarding school determination.</p>
<p>ThacherParent, I think you are over-exaggerating the “cultural differences” between the “mainstream” boarding schools. Sure, Exeter and Thacher feel different, but to me those differences are similar to the differences between a competitive magnet school like TJ and a nice small public school in an affluent suburban neighborhood. The values the schools are trying to instill in their students are similar although the implementation may be more complex and difficult in Exeter. That’s my take anyway. I know we are all stubborn people so we should not expect to persuade each other. 
But, carry on!</p>
<p>Benley: I agree with your perspective here. Many 13 and 17 year-olds testing the boarding school waters are thriving in their community schools (all over the diverse map) without this over fixation on fit. For many “fit” boils down to sufficient financial aid to make it work and not bankrupt a family of six. This is the final arbiter for many and a financial generous school that fits the candidate/family the best. This is reality for many applicants … and not some idle pseudophilosophical exercise about fit … and the boarding schools with deep pockets can usually commit for all four years. This aside, the average, normal kid will usually thrive despite the boarding school. </p>
<p>Some applicants prefer to reach for the boarding school stars or simply stay at their fine local schools.</p>
<p>For trust fund babies and deep pocketed legacy applicants “fit” has nothing to do with financial aid but may have everything to do with legacy and extending the lineage.</p>
<p>abiriba-Mockery has been around forever, but historically, serious people had to explain WHY they believed things were worth mocking.</p>
<p>I wish you all the luck in the world. I hope your child finds the right school and is accepted with all the FA he/she needs. I sincerely mean that. The only thing I would ask is that you reflect on how/why a BS endowment grows and appreciate in some small way the spirit in which the funds were given.</p>
<p>PhotographerMom:</p>
<p>“People who wave off great schools with words like “podunk” and use terms like “Trust Fund Baby” are usually the types that get their information from some business magazine. You know- the ones that rave and rank and are written by some person who has never been near a BS campus in his/her life. Good luck with that.” </p>
<p>Your gut or instincts are dead wrong again. I attended boarding school (as did all my siblings). It’s one of the ones you have read about in the business magazines over the last half century that is always in the top 5 with one of the highest endowment/student ratios (whatever those rankings mean). </p>
<p>I assure you I know what a trust fund baby is…despite the royal news across the Atlantic. Some of my best friends are admittedly and unabashedly – trust fund babies.</p>
<p>“I wish you all the luck in the world. I hope your child finds the right school and is accepted with all the FA he/she needs. I sincerely mean that. The only thing I would ask is that you reflect on how/why a BS endowment grows and appreciate in some small way the spirit in which the funds were given.” … PhotographerMom</p>
<p>Even some trust fund babies recognize some children are not as fortunate and make final decisions about attending boarding school based on financial aid (I have given generously for decades towards this end). To those able students I encourage them to shoot for the stars because there is a better statistical chance of getting the funding you need if admitted. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this strategy for some students and families. Just as there is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking the school you believe is the best fit for your child…whether it is Exeter or Canterbury!</p>