What happens if you don't make close friends in college?

<p>blahfishcakes, it does get more difficult once one is out of school, but Northstarmom is right, the easiest place to find new friends is to find grown-up ECs. I’ve done various things depending on where I was. Volunteered at a historical society, joined the local art society, got involved in local politics, joined the neighborhood association. And for years my biggest ECs were things that involved the kids: La Leche League, Nursery School, PTA, Soccer… Both my high school and soccer friends are scattered across the globe.</p>

<p>By the way, we also found a religious organization that doesn’t require a belief in God - Ethical Culture.</p>

<p>Buddhism also doesn’t require a belief in God.</p>

<p>Ditto Unitarian-Universalism</p>

<p>Take heart! College students are still maturing, still forming even as they graduate. Could be you are ahead of the curve here, and have probably been even in High School. But job, independence, more isolation (moving to new city/town) marriage and/or family seem to force a convergence of maturity sometime during the middle 20’s. So, pursue the job and active life you have imagined you will have after college-keep open and the rest will settle in. You do have to keep putting yourself out there though, much as in dating and career building. Because time does fly during this time and next thing you know your are… :0, you get it.</p>

<p>I liked this quote from sax(^^^):

I had plenty of friends in HS, then in college, then work, then beyond. I haven’t kept up with them regularly, but occasionally participate in events that are meaningful, like a 30th HS reunion. These days, my “closest” friends are relationships built through my child’s friendships or was it the other way around? </p>

<p>Not sure how that will change once my kids are out of HS, but I know it will. Maybe I’ll get more involved in our temple, maybe I’ll get more involved in work…Ah, it’s an ongoing process, isn’t it?</p>

<p>Have a baby. When the kid gets older (like 2) you’ll start to befriend parents of its peers and those bonds are generally long-lasting if you hit it off with like-minded parents and can hang out at PTA meetings and scouts and such.</p>

<p>I wonder if we’re hearing some social insecurity from OP, which is totally understandable. If OP has not made close friends in four years of college, perhaps working with a counselor could help sort out how to find those who really share your values. It’s very possible that your employment will bring you into contact with “your kind” of people in a way that college somehow didn’t. OTOH, if there are other things preventing you from finding a close friend, now is a great time to face it.</p>