What if your son/daughter told you they want to go into law enforcement?

Parents Forum Parent Cafe
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My highly educated brother spent his entire career in law enforcement and loved it. On the Criminal Justice thread a while back, I posted that he earned his CJ degree from Michigan State and went right to work for a very small police force that put him through the police academy (required, degree or no). Eventually he moved to the force that had jurisdiction over Detroit Metro Airport and ended up loving the adrenaline rush of undercover narcotics work. Many of those busts put him alongside the FBI and, over the years, he worked many operations with the bureau but was not interested in a move. After twenty years of narcotics work, he retired on a Friday but was back to work the following Monday after the state attorney general came after him for an undercover unit catching pedophiles on the Internet, again closely working with the FBI. During that time, he earned his masterā€™s in forensic science. After a few years, he again tried to retire, but this time, the local FBI had a position for him, and he spent his remaining work years running a white-collar crime unit. He finally retired with two government pensions but says he still misses it.

He loved the study. He loved law enforcement work and had an amazing and exceptionally satisfying career. Every day, he felt what he did mattered. I couldnā€™t say that about my job, ever, regardless of how much more I was paid.

As a different example from my brother who loved the detail work and the rush of the sting, my BIL, who started as a CHiP, has been the Chief of Police for Austin, Houston, and Miami. He has an associateā€™s in communications and a bachelorā€™s in public administration. His goal has always been leadership advancement, and he navigates those politics very well, but I believe itā€™s his personality rather than his education that suits him for the work he does. He chose the administrative arm of law enforcement, but he is just as satisfied with the work as my brother, though I believe heā€™s better compensated.

There is no one on either side of our family who is not proud of both of these men. More recently, our son chose the military and is currently serving. We are equally proud of him even if we didnā€™t agree with or support his choice initially. Ultimately, it was his decision to make, and he has become a fine, fine officer.

I have posted many times how we felt when he told us he wanted to join the military. Hereā€™s one example for anyone who hasnā€™t heard me rant on this topic before.

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I wish I could like this post a 100 times!

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@ChoatieMom I agree with @deb922 100% about the value of your post.

Thank you.

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Did the job for 31 years. Lots of highs and lows. Though not the most dangerous job as far as death goes there is potential for a large psychological toll. Dealing with manā€™s inhumanity to man on a daily basis, death, delivering death messages and other things can take a toll. On the other hand there is much satisfaction knowing you helped save a life, returned a lost child to a frantic mother, prevented someone from hurting others etc . Donā€™t know if there is a job out there with as much variety. You never know what might be next. The public expects you to wear a lot of hats.

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As a parent Iā€™d be equal parts super proud and very worried for safety.

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How much of the job in your case was as the social worker of last resort (dealing with stuff like mental health, homelessness, addiction, domestic disputes, etc. that were neglected until they became matters that resulted in police calls)?

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In all honesty I wouldnā€™t be happy. I would be supportive if I felt they were suited for the job. Iā€™m biased as I know a number of men who have gone into law enforcement who are not suited for the job. Not saying that there arenā€™t good people in law enforcement who do their job with compassion.

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@mom60 Honesty is what Iā€™m looking for.

What made the men you know unsuitable for the job?

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Of the two Iā€™m most familiar with- both have the attitude of minorities are often up to no good. Enjoy the feeling of power and using their power. One is an antivaxer and doesnā€™t believe Covid is real. Both believe the police are always justified in what they do. They just donā€™t have the temperament that Iā€™d like to see. One is just very power hungry and the other is a nice guy but would be better suited for another line of work.
My son-in-law was in the National Guard and while his unit mates seem like nice people most of them are Trumpers. I think our armed forces should be supporting our elected president. I wonā€™t go into more as it will be politics which is not allowed.
I do have another friend whose husband is a sheriff and another who is in the Hwy Patrol and both men are good compassionate people. They are friendly and the type of men youā€™d want your kids to be.

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I think you meant to say our armed forces should respect and obey our elected president. There is no reason to expect they, or any other federal employee, would support him-that is a personal decision.

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There are jobs in law enforcement preventing cybercrime, tracking the flow of money from huge global human trafficking operations, working for the SEC , etc. where nobody carries a gun or gets shot. There is the occasional death threat but our Federal Marshalls ( a very dangerous job) do a great job protecting these law enforcement professionalsā€¦

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I just my kids to be in a bubble with everything they need and are extremely happy. Anything short of that I wouldnā€™t be happy.

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The men and women who serve our country honorably (whether in the armed forces or in law enforcement) are individuals I have a great deal of respect for. My spouse served in the military as did a close friend. My spouseā€™s father also served in the military. Unfortunately, I know of the tremendous damage caused to all three of them, even if it wasnā€™t visible to most people. I am incredibly grateful for their service and their sacrifices, but I would be lying if I said I wished the same for my child.

If, however, my child decided to go into the armed services or into law enforcement (particularly law enforcement that is more apt to be in physical danger), I would certainly worry internally and say some extra prayers, but I think that everyone who has loved ones in dangerous professions is likely to do the same. No matter what concerns I might have, I would still be very proud of my kid.

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My D25 says she wants to work in law enforcement. Iā€™m thinking she may opt to do something more behind the scenes related though. I canā€™t imagine her 4ā€™ 11" little self working the streets. :slight_smile:

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The FBI hires clinical psychologists. The CIA hires linguists. The NSA hires mathematicians.

All kinds of law enforcement jobs that donā€™t walk the streetsā€¦

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We have law enforcement folks on both my side of the family and DHs. Both people are very devoted to their work and their communities. One is now a detective and the other retired as a police chief in a large city. We are very proud of the work they did and do.

Iā€™m sure their immediate families worried from time to time about them, but the orice these men had in their work really shone. It made us all proud.

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Iā€™d be a proud parent. Itā€™s a thankless but very much needed job. And itā€™s an opportunity to make a positive difference in your local community.

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I recently retired after a 32 year career in law enforcement.

Iā€™ll always support my kids in anything they choose to do. However, itā€™s a very tough time for law enforcement. The job is quite different than what it was when I started. Although some changes were definitely needed, there are many changes that are not for the better.

Iā€™m sad to say I would hope they find another career they are passionate about.

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And so do I. While you specifically asked about law enforcement, Iā€™m also going to include the military. There is a lot of NIMBY (or NMK for Not MY Kid) attitude. I know parents who refused to encourage their (female even!) children to go the military- pays- for- med school route.

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@2plustrio To @blossomā€™s point, your daughter could definitely find work on the federal side as an intelligence analyst. There are so many support roles in law enforcement/national security that donā€™t necessitate being on the street.

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