<p>Hi.
I've trolled collegeconfidential for a while, but have just signed up officially.
My daughter has just gone off for her first year of college. Today, I re-organized her bedroom (at home). Even with allowances for the flurry created by packing for college, I am appalled at the level of chaos left behind. As her room got messier during her teen years, I decided to leave its condition up to her, hoping that she would get tired of it and neaten up; it was not to be. The level of messiness worries me. I know that teenagers, especially girls, can be very messy. But, I'm wondering if this is normal. I'd love to hear from other parents.
Thanks.</p>
<p>I am here to bring you hope!</p>
<p>D2 is 22, and her room was always a disaster… couldn’t see the floor, spilled things on the carpet that were not cleaned up properly, etc. When she was in high school, we also took the approach to ignore it, but that required her keeping her door closed so that we didn’t have to look at it. Even when she came home from college breaks, it was a disaster and I’d spend a day or two cleaning up after she’d return to school. H absolutely refused to go in her room.</p>
<p>So now here she is, three-months post college, and I literally was so shocked when I saw her room today, that I almost took a picture to send it to her older sister (who D2 says is a neat freak) to ask her who took over D2’s mind. Her room is absolutely spotless (even the bed is made). When she came home, we did redecorate her room so she really has some ownership in it, and she has really kept it up. But for some reason, when I looked at it today, I really was befuddled as to what happened between graduating college and coming home (oh, her apartment bedroom at school was a disaster, too). I keep thinking, “What’s she buttering us up for?” or “Who kidnapped my child and replaced her with a look-a-like?”</p>
<p>It can change.</p>
<p>16 and 19 yr. olds living here and both rooms are disaster areas. What amazes me is that they actually bring friends upstairs and into their rooms. When I ask them, "Aren’t you embarrassed to show your room?', I get, “No, mom. Everyone’s room is the same way.”</p>
<p>OP, there’s hope for improvement. D1 became much neater after one year way at college. I think having to share a small room taught her the value of “a place for everything and everything in its’ place”. Also, her roommate was even messier than her (!!), so once D1 came home and could control her whole room, she really appreciated neatness.</p>
<p>Of course, don’t peek in her room this week…she’s packing to move back to campus and it looks like a bomb went off in there.</p>
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<p>I think you mean you’ve lurked, not ■■■■■■■ ;)</p>
<p>My 20 year old daughter’s bedroom looks like a tornato hit it.</p>
<p>well, no hope to give here. Window cleaner could not get to D’s closet window because of the clothes piled high. She did purge some after her last lab test last week so we will see…so maybe just a little hope?</p>
<p>My 17 year old cleaned her room as school let out for the summer, but looking at it now, you’d never know!! Funny thing is, when she was young (early Elementary school), she always wanted to clean it and reorganize it. (Sigh)</p>
<p>My college-bound d’s room is fairly neat. It was a bit messier senior year and this summer as she was just so busy with stuff that she didn’t have time to clean it. </p>
<p>My 2014 D is another story. We call her space “the landfill”. And I think that’s a pretty kind description. Seriously, her allergist said “no carpet”. Well, does it really matter if there’s 1-3 feet of debris covering whatever floor covering we have? I can’t go in there. I mean that literally. I don’t know how she gets around in there.</p>
<p>What amazes me about both my daughters is that they can step out of the tornados/tsunamis/landfills that are their rooms looking fabulous. How can a girl step out of such a mess looking gorgeous?</p>
<p>I was a lifelong messy-room, messy-locker, messy-car person. Pushing 50 and still am. Sorry to break the bad news.</p>
<p>CLEAN! He has been gone for a week. I took a trashbag to it, and did the laundry. Couldn’t take it anymore. There will be a housekeeping bill waiting for him when he returns.</p>
<p>How can such a smart, precious, well-put-together young woman create such a disaster area? We’re talking it should be condemned. I have been thinking about taking her room when she leaves this year for 2nd year of college because it is nicer than mine and she only plans to visit from now on (considers herself officially a New Yorker, no longer a Texan). Rethinking that as I survey the situation!</p>
<p>I gain immense satisfaction in cleaning my D’s room after she leaves for college every fall and then having it STAY that way until Christmas break. I find myself walking by and sighing a little contented sigh to see it so neat and organized. I have warned her that this year I will start purging her closets and drawers. She has had 2 summers to do it herself so now Mama gets to make the Salvation Army very happy.</p>
<p>Just got a text at work from my DD - she’s cleaning her room!! Unprompted, too! Of course what I really wanted her to do was work on her commonap essay…but I’ll take the cleaning!!</p>
<p>D and I spent almost 2 days over the summer and numerous black bags clearing out both her bedroom and her sitting room (discovered a sofa we hadn’t seen since the start of her senior year) which had information from all of the colleges she applied to lying about. When I used to comment on how bad it was, she was quick to tell me that her room was nowhere nearly as bad as her friends. We now have boxes and boxes of toys, clothes etc to sell at the next garage sale.</p>
<p>I’m also hoping that having to share a small room with someone else encourages her to be more tidy - well I can hope :)</p>
<p>Our older teen–soon to be launched college student likes an organized clean room. The drawers are neat too! No food, no glasses, no trash…never clothes piled everywhere…
Always bed made–always always no matter how early kiddo gets up–Even if kiddo is up at 5am to go somewhere–the bed is made…</p>
<p>Our second teen–mid HS student is less organized and is trying. Drawers used to be messy, and yet kiddo has been working to keep them folded --that change came in the last half of the school yr last yr. The bed is almost never made and there can be a pile of laundrey on the closet floor…and stuff strewn on the desk top…Not unusual to have a water glass about…no food issues though
However, having seen some efforts in the last year to be better, I am hopeful that the clothes on the bean bag chair and the laundry on the floor of the closet find their proper places. </p>
<p>FWIW, my soon to be launched college student has done 2 passes through the closets and drawers and sorted out all of the stuff to be given away and cleaned out the junk drawer in the top of the desk and bureau. I have all confidence the room will be very clean, orderly etc when kiddo leaves for campus.</p>
<p>I thank heaven for all of you and for your posts! I feel so much better.</p>
<p>ordinarylives, I’ll have to relay the “landfill” and the allergist description to my daughter…it’s perfect.</p>
<p>I agree, missypie: how DO these kids leave their messy, chaotic, gross (I’ve wondered, sometimes, if there might be some non inorganic stuff hidden amidst all the detritus), crazy rooms…looking like cool, calm and collected young women?!</p>
<p>That’s right: “lurking”, not “trolling” - although neither sounds too good. </p>
<p>As one poster said, it’s a pleasure peeking into the neat room now - with windows open for some fresh air. Now, I can go back to missing my daughter.</p>
<p>sujormik: I’ve kind of gone back and forth throughout my life, between neat and messy.</p>
<p>Thanks so much, everyone! I really feel relieved.</p>
<p>Same here. She’s soon to turn 22 and just out of college. Nothing has changed. In fact I’m thinking about asking our cleaning people for a rebate because they can never clean her room since it’s always piled high with junk. Maybe when she gets her own apartment things will improve. I’m still hoping.</p>
<p>My kid spent all summer (between her freshman and sophmore year of college) with a “dorm mountain” in her room and only a tiny strip of floor visable from the door to the bed. She moved back into her dorm last week and her room at home is still a disaster! Nice to hear I am not alone :)</p>