<p>Since you are from the Midwest and are unfamiliar with FL schools and since I don’t mind butting my nose in to other people’s business anyway :-), please allow me to throw my $.02 in about FSU or UF. </p>
<p>I am biased since I am an FSU grad, as I said. </p>
<p>But I have nothing but good things to say about UF. For the costs for in-state students, even without a scholly, it is an amazing value. Great schools, outrageous school spirit, great brand recognition, he will get a kick-butt education and have a great time and it won’t cold 6 months out of the year and it will be affordable compared to other options. UF alums pride themselves on being the de facto “flagship” university in this state and while it is true they get the most funding and have the most power in the state legislature, they are not a flagship to my knowledge. I might have missed it while I was in Texas but it doesn’t mean much in an of itself either way. UF gets the most funding and has the most programs, no big deal. </p>
<p>Here is the good news. </p>
<p>FSU is just as good and affordable. It might have a little less pressure than UF. FSU’s number are a little lower and all that. FSU’s rankings aren’t as high. Whatever. They are very similar schools. </p>
<p>FSU’s campus is more compact and generally considered, by anyone with good vision, prettier. FSU has the same ridiculously over the top school spirit. FSU has just refurbished almost of the dorms and I swear I could go on and on all day but I am at work and have to get something done. </p>
<p>The point is FSU is the “lite” version of UF. That doesn’t mean it is far less academically just that it is maybe the more relaxed ride compared to UF. Your son will still have to work hard, especially in engineering or honors, no worries there, but he just isn’t losing anything by picking FSU over UF. I am sure a UF fan will be along any minute to disagree. </p>
<p>Since it sounds like FSU came through with better FA it is an easier decision. Good luck with it either way. You have every reason to celebrate no matter what he decides. Congrats.</p>
<p>Not to be an armchair psychologist, but you and your kids have been through some big upheaval. I think kids often manifest more of the fallout from those traumas when they’re about to make a big life change. Leaving the nest can provoke anxiety even for kids who didn’t already have their foundations shaken. And even the least spoiled or coddled 18 yr olds are seldom models of decisiveness or organization. Best of luck to you and your son.</p>
<p>Well…not only do I have a moody son like the OP, but I have some inside views on FSU/FL because I grew up in G’ville and most of my high school friends stayed in FL so their kids are choosing between UofF and FSU. When I was growing up, all I wanted to do was leave G’ville…the partying, anti-intellectual good ol’boys attitude was poison for me and I just wanted out…FSU was considered way, way second tier and even more ya-hoo country so I didn’t even consider it. I had the full ride to UofF but (and I must have passed this expensive taste in education on to my son) I went north and private to Duke (which had its fair share of partying and ya-hoo culture overlaid with a new jersey accent) Most of my friends went FSU or UofF…</p>
<p>After freshman year, Reagan-omics hit along with massive cuts to student grant program…I came home, the UpF Undergrad Dean was the dad of my close friend so I was able to quickly registeronly $450 for 5 classes!–all huge lectures because there was not much to choose from registering after classes had started. </p>
<p>Against all my expectations I had 5 memorable classes…one was taught by video (intro econ to the 2,000 registered students) but all were great and taught by profs as good or better than the ones at Duke. The downside were the students who drank and partied constantly and life revolved around football. Unlike at duke where I was a good student, at florida it was easy to be outstanding and get the attention of the profs. I ended up going back to Duke when Duke coughed up the money. It was the better fit for me and for my interests and it worked out great. Nevertheless, I walked away with a very healthy respect for the quality of public university education in FL and that was 30 years ago. By all accounts it has only improved since then.</p>
<p>How did all my hs friends do?..well my brother has an engineering degree from FL and is highly successful because of good basics so he has been able to change areas of expertise easily…most of the smart guys in my class did engineering at FSU or FL and all are doing well as of our 20th reunion…most of my girlfriends became teachers or did a business degree…the ones with the business degrees are in great jobs…the teachers, all bright dedicated well-trained teachers, are suffering in Florida’s underfunded public k-12 schools…</p>
<p>As teenagers, we always assumed that UofF was the better school but now that my friends’ kids are having to choose which school…many are picking FSU because it offers as good or better education for less money and smaller classes. It is ironic because the public k-12 education in florida, with a few exceptions, is abysmal…truly awful…yet the colleges/universities are really remarkably good.</p>
<p>My take-away is that the school is what you make of it and where you feel most comfortable…do not go on rankings or entirely on cost (if you have some flexibility)…professors are great at these public universities because they are able to mix teaching with research and/or consulting. Private schools don’t always offer so much flexibility or great facilities. Take your son to both schools…that was critical in our son’s decision because he knew he would be more challenged and more engaged at teh private school rather than the mediocre public university with the free ride (it was not at the level of FSU or UofF but it did have a good program in his field of interest). See if your son can stay overnight or go to classes particularly with the honors college at FSU to make sure he gets a real sense of what it would be like to be there. He may just feel the “fit” and it will make the decision easier including whether it is worth the extra cost of UofF.</p>
<p>Gator here. But more importantly, I’m a mom with senior S. I agree with all that’s been said about UF/FSU. UF is huge! That can be great and that can be not so great. I can appreciate the peer bias towards UF, but given the $$ and the Honors college with his pick of dorms, I’d be leaning towards FSU. I agree with the poster that suggested you visit in mid-March, take the pressure off and see if he relaxes.</p>
<p>Sidebar: I have family in G’ville so we visit several times a year. I have not however been with the gang to a football game in a long time. I could not pass up the chance to attend Tim Tebow’s last home game against FSU Thanksgiving 2009. That stadium was amazing; it reminded me how Big Football can be a BIG draw to high schoolers - I get it.</p>
<p>FAMM - I also remember my parent’s giving me a check for my tuition each semester - about $500!</p>
<p>Speaking only based on my own experience this is not uncommon, it is about the pressure he is feeling I suspect, it is what they used to call ‘when the rubber hits the road’…kids coming out of college often face the same thing, they suddenly are faced with the real world and it can be disconcerting, especially if they don’t know what they want to do. I would be willing to give good odds he simply is overwhelmed and in the process isn’t thinking clearly, he is all over the place. And quite frankly, these days, with all the craziness out there, all the crap that if you don’t choose the right path, make a wrong turn, whatever you are finished, and that simply isn’t true, but that is common perception. Given that, it is not surprising a kid would vacillate or dither…</p>
<p>I would tell him that he always has options, that if he wants to go into engineering, and finds out the school he goes to doesn’t seem as good as X, he can transfer if he initially doesn’t get in there (yeah, there can be financial aid implications to that, and such). Even with engineering, generally freshman year is spent with base requirements, math and science courses and core courses, so it is likely, unless he has incredible advanced standing, he won’t be taking engineering courses right away…so there is a buffer there. </p>
<p>More importantly, if it was my son (and believe me, I have had to do this, albeit in a different area) I would try and re-assure him that there are no ‘tragic mistakes’ at this point that don’t involve self destruction like drugs,Yanni records or watching MTV, and that he has enough smarts and such to be able to find his way out of anything, that you have confidence in him, and to step back and think about what he wants to do, and do it.</p>
<p>"I feel like there is something that he is not telling me but I can’t get it out of him.</p>
<p>What do I do?"</p>
<p>OP: Listen to him! His actions are speaking! His procrastination is his telling you he is going to run HIS own show, you’re not invited for decision making. This is his life, not yours. Quit being so concerned and let go of controlling him. Find your own life and he will find his. You sound like a micromanager, anal retentive type. Albeit, your intentions sound heartwarming, but he definitely wants to call the shots. And shouldn’t he? Go control yourself, not your son.</p>
<p>HAHA - well you have me pegged in one aspect. I am not anal retentive but I am a project manager for a large company. My job is to do process mapping, data analysis and project management. Imagine that. I promise to back off!</p>
<p>Jena, that is very loving, and I can imagine so difficult, to let go and trust him. You’ve done an amazing job of raising him. Now enjoy your friendship as you loosen those reigns!
Stay believing in him…then pray your heart out!</p>
<p>Gator alum here (grad school). If you want to keep options open, call FSU and explain that you missed the honors deadline-- give a credit card over the phone if you have to. That said- UF is of course my strong recommendation. Do not worry about the dept “rankings”. The connections with other programs, internships and job opptys is/are important. </p>
<p>Your s will change his mind again. Keep the options open, and if that requires a deposit-- thats ok. Good luck!</p>