What is wrong with my thesis statement? (AP WORLD)

Pre-College Topics High School Life
1

<p>I am currently taking AP world history. On a quiz, I was asked to write a thesis statement on the following question. </p>

<p>What changes led to the industrial revolution in Britain?</p>

<p>My thesis statement was:</p>

<p>The industrial revolution in Britain was caused by changes in population, production methods, and business organization throughout the country. </p>

<p>My teacher says that this thesis statement is wrong and I got marked off for it.</p>

<p>Am I missing something in this thesis statement? How is this wrong? </p>

2

<p>I know this is homework help, but to be honest:
It’s very basic. Yes, sure, maybe that’s true, but it’s kinda boring.
Try to be more creative. Our ‘thesis statements’ tend to be thesis paragraphs XD</p>

3

<p>I don’t know anything about AP World and I guess there’s a formula you have to follow for these, but it seems pretty vague, what with the “changes.” I mean, everything is caused by changes. The best thing to do is ask your teacher.</p>

4

<p>It’s too vague. Say the population increased, not just the population changed. Also, don’t you normally need the time period?</p>