As my family comes to the end of our very long and tedious journey into the world of college admissions and prepares to step into this next phase of life, I wanted to thank the CC community for the insights provided and share what I’ve learned from our own experience, with the understanding that every one comes to the process with different situations, circumstances, and dynamics. Our twins (first and only children) have had a very successful experience and will both be headed to their first choice schools, which also provide the best financial packages (and are thus OUR first choice schools!) :> It didn’t happen without a little elbow-grease though:
- Perhaps it is because I am a therapist and an educator, but I have always held strong the belief that our children’s education is a partnership between home and school. It truly does take a village and as parents, we are the ambassadors and must play a proactive role from start. I approached the journey into college admissions with the same philosophy, providing the road map for my children and helping to guide them toward their destinations. Every student is as unique as every parent and some will be more independent and invested in the process than others but I know if I had not directed the process, they likely would not have met their goals.
- Our personal experience with guidance counselors was relatively worthless (I am not at all generalizing, simply sharing our own experience). I mistakenly expected that the counselor was advising and guiding my children to develop the strongest transcript appropriate for them and providing insight about schools and careers. She did nothing more than fill in schedule forms and send in the necessary materials and I found myself advising her more than she advised us! In hindsight, I wish I would have realized this at the start.
- College visits proved to be an invaluable experience! I know it’s not always feasible for everyone but I found that my children could gain a much more valuable understanding of the school’s appeal and “fit” for them by being on each campus. It helped tremendously for them to narrow their list of desired characteristics by visiting a variety of campuses (and we experienced about as much variety as one can cover with over 30 visits in about 18 months!) Though there may have been some groaning, eye-rolling, and arguments along the way, they definitely appreciated the fact that the visit typically resulted in either applying to the school or ruling it out.
- Knowing our finances and their “fit” with each school in advance also proved invaluable. As early as the start of junior year, we had calculated an estimate of our EFC and looked carefully at the amount of need-based aid provided by the various schools. Running the NPC for each school was very informative in this process. With 2 children in school full-time, we found we qualified for a significant amount of aid and concentrated on those schools that could meet a significant portion of our need. Though our D ideally envisioned a large OOS flagship experience (Ohio State, Penn State, U Del, etc.), I knew from my research that we would be paying full OOS price (as she lacked impressive stats) and was able to help guide her toward comparable private school options that provided need-based aid. She had a few OOS options as well on her list that were comparable in price to our In-State options (as a NJ family, our In-State tuition is very high).
Our S is a highly qualified applicant (top 5% of his class) and I guided him toward schools that also may provide strong merit-based aid as well. If your EFC is quite substantial or if you are not likely to qualify for need-based aid, selecting schools with strong merit-based aid may be very important to you. - Though we are fortunate that my children were each accepted into their first choice schools, I think it was still well worth the investment for them to follow the advise to include at least a couple of schools in each category, including: reach schools, well-matched schools, and safety schools. This was extremely important for our S who was applying to extremely competitive schools (in Chemical Engineering) and competing with extremely qualified applicants. Some of his well-matched schools were less desirable to him but it was critical to have them included had he not been accepted into one of the more competitive schools.
- Test prep for us was critical. My children each took the SAT 3x and the ACT twice. I hate the tests, they hate the tests, we all hate the tests! Test prep was probably the biggest source of conflict in the process for us and I really wish it didn’t have the importance it does, but no matter what you hear counselors say, those scores are critical, especially if you have a competitive applicant. Our S had a stand-out application in every respect . . . EXCEPT those darn scores! He had a 31 ACT, 1370 2 part SAT (not bad scores at all, but not strong enough to place him among the top applicants). Merit/scholarship awards are based almost exclusively upon the scores and though he was admitted to his first choice, he has only received one scholarship/merit award (from a much less competitive school). If you are relying upon a significant amount of merit aid, your child’s stats should be well-above the average for the school.
- Demonstrated interest counts! I really think it was demonstrated interest that ultimately led to the acceptances at their first choices. S was deferred EA and followed up his application with a letter and an email highlighting his strengths and why he would be a great fit for the school (note, not why the school was a good fit for him but what HE brought to THEM). D had taken the time to visit program directors for the programs she was applying to and personalized her applications based upon her talks with the professors. Listen closely to those info sessions (Come on, if I can listen closely to 30 of them, you can do it! :)) ) They will usually specify what they look for in their applicants. Note it and have your student highlight why they fit the description!
- Recognize that it is a process for your child and they will approach it very differently than you might and differently at various points. Last night, as my children decorated eggs with several friends around our kitchen table, I couldn’t help but smile as I overheard them all discussing schools and each of their application processes. Trust me, that discussion would never have happened a year ago! There was definitely lots of groaning along the way, but I know they are both looking back at it now with a tremendous amount of satisfaction (they may not have fully reached the level of gratitude yet, but I know it will come someday, lol!)
I think ultimately we achieved this point by being proactive, listening to our children but guiding them with our experience and insight, and educating ourselves as much as we could. I wish you all the very best of luck (I think that plays a hand as well!) and hope you too get a lot out of this engaging community!