What I've learned

<p>SBMom, that made me chuckle as I was just telling my husband today that, since she's applying EA to all of the schools, if she gets rejected from them all we still will have time to rush in a few RD applications. He looked at me like I was utterly insane.</p>

<p>Carolyn, </p>

<p>LOLOL! I can just imagine your DH's face!</p>

<p>Yes, Momofthree, poor DH has had enough. He says living with D. and I for the past month or so has been like living in an emergency ward for chronic PMS sufferers. Of course, I haven't yet filled him on the plan that has HIM accompanying daughter on any and all follow up visits after the results come in. ;)</p>

<p>"the Queen of the College Possessed"</p>

<p>Time has come to sit on your throne. Pick a fat pillow and spend some time waving the golden CC scepter. Oops, you need 5,000 posts on the NEW CC to earn that one. I heard it is beautifully engraved and is signed by Dave Berry himself. The note reads: "Were each post worth 10 cents, you would have been $500 richer! Your participation is however priceless." </p>

<p>Come to think about ... since you recommend to avoid procrastination, should you not get started with the applications of number two? :)</p>

<p>Carolyn:</p>

<p>I don't even know what schools your daughter ended up applying to, but my prediction is that she does a lot better than 50/50%.</p>

<p>I think it will be better than 50/50 also. I started reading this forum about the time Carolyn's D was a sophomore, and now it will soon be time to see where the D winds up going to school. So exciting!</p>

<p>Congratulations. Do sit on the throne and wave.
Believe it-It really does end up for the best. Of course that doesn't mean your stomach might turn when you read the latest school newspaper.</p>

<p>Carolyn,
You have been so generous with your advice to people over the years, I sincerely hope your D gets into every school on her list and that your only problems after sending the mail off tomorrow are deciding which college gets your D for four years! I, too, think she will bat higher than 50/50. Keep us informed as the results come out and enjoy this time with your D. The pressure really does ease once the last app gets mailed. (I can't say the waiting is fun, but the pressure is off at least).</p>

<p>otoh, batting 50/50 can be a sign of a well-balanced list, looking to check out a couple of brass rings, so not to worry if that's the final "score." It's only the finally chosen school that matters in the end... and coordinating the twin XL's with the duvet, window coverings and area rug. ;)</p>

<p>My D had one school on her list as a maybe, as December ticked away, it became one she would not get to......Jan 1 had an email arrving giving her three more weeks to apply. So she did, she got a likely letter, got in, she got money there, even phone calls, she visited and still was not interested in the location! But if she had not gotten into #1 it would have been an extremely viable 2nd choice.</p>

<p>I totally agree on the emails, my D would have missed several important emails if we had given her usual (hotmail) address which she might have checked once every week or two. Instead I created an additional account on my server with her name, I could check it and print important things.</p>

<p>I, too, never wrote anything personal for her, though I did do the scut work to keep it all on track. It worked and she did all the hard stuff.</p>

<p>Carolyn, I don't mean to go off track on your thread, but the discussion about how many acceptances she may get has triggered a thought for me.</p>

<p>Maybe we could help our kids think about acceptances this way -- if you get into every school you've applied to, you haven't reached high enough. I can't think of more than a handful of candidates, and I don't know any personally, for whom the most selective schools are a sure thing. Most of the time, we encourage kids to apply to a few 'sure bets', 'good fit' and 'lottery' schools. I think that if a student really thinks about their choices carefully, and does a good job of evaluating their chances, then there is no way they should get into every school. It's like selling your house...if you set the price low enough, you'll sell it within hours. But if the price is set correctly from a market standpoint, you'll often get a few offers that come close to your asking price, but may be a little less. At that point, you've established the correct market price for your house (unless you live in a hot real estate market!) -- in some ways, the college admissions process can be viewed in the same light. Does that make sense to anyone?</p>

<p>sjmom-
Good analogy. Makes a lot of sense. After all, isn't that why they call them "reaches", "matches" and "likelies" ? If they were all "likelies", then maybe, maybe we would be a little less stressed out by this whole process. Naaahhhhh. Little chance of that. </p>

<p>But to Carolyn, if ANYONE deserves the best possible outcome, it is you. It's a shame that there isn't a direct correlation between the amount of time and energy put into the college application process, or the quantity of college application-related knowledge and the ultimate outcome. Best, BEST of luck to you and DD. (Can we call her Carolyn-ette?)</p>

<p>SJ, I disagree. My son got into all his schools. They were the ones where he wanted to apply and obviously they were good fits in one way or another. I totally agreed with him. He didn't apply to ivy league schools because their music programs didn't appeal to him and therefore the schools didn't appeal to him and he didn't apply to the big conservatories except Indiana which is a great one because they were too restrictive for him: he wanted government and music. So he turned down Indiana. Our kids are all so different & so are the schools, praise the lord! He is having the time of his life at a tiny little place and last night he was shooting hoops! My son, the musician, the non sportsman who is 6'4". That is why it is sooo important that they take charge of the process and find their own fit! I tried to interfere with his final selection (which I considered a reach and my alma mater) and he made me step aside in a very polite way.</p>

<p>Carolyn, </p>

<p>Best wishes to you and your D. One of the reasons I hang around. Despite being in China yet again:). I know it will all go well for you and her.</p>

<p>Alu</p>

<p>Congratulations on getting all the apps in! We got all of ours in for Early Action, so I know its a tremendous relief for your entire family. </p>

<p>Also, a BIG THANK YOU to carolyn for freely sharing ideas and advice. THANK YOU!!</p>

<p>It is such a relief to read these posts and know that I am not the only type A parent of a type B DD. DD has applied to 6 of her 8 chosen schools so far and may or may not finish the last 2 apps because "she just wants to be done"! I really hope that she does send the last two because I want her to have OOS options should her ED school (a reach...maybe a high reach) reject/defer her. She has recently told us that she now believes that she could be very comfortable going to our state's flagship public university (UF) should she not get into her dream school. I have mixed emotions on that....Is she giving up on her dreams now that she "just wants to be done" or did she reevaluate herself and decide that the state public (ranked 50 by US NEWS) is better than the OOS privates that are ranked 56 and 60?</p>

<p>seidan-
Please don't base a decsion on the USNews ranking! UF is a great school. When will she hear from her ED school, and what are the deadlines for the remaining 2 schools? She might want to get the other 2 applications partly ready to go should she get deferred or rejected, but if she has a little time between hearing from the ED school and the deadlines of the other 2 schools, she might be willing to crank out/ finish those last two apps near the deadline. As Carolyn aptly pointed out, all teens procrastinate. I remember pushing the envelope on my college applications way back when-- cut it a bit close on the deadlines. But, the more my parents "encouraged" me, the more I back-pedalled. FWIW, my s. did very much the same thing as your d. when he applied- he applied to a school ED and one of our local Uni's (a tech school) that let him know early if he got his app. in early (non-binding). He had the remaining few applications in various stages of readiness, but fortunately did get into his ED school, and never had to finish the other apps.</p>

<p>DD will hear from her ED school by snail mail after Dec 15 (tho I hear most letter about the 20th of Dec.) and the deadlines for the other two schools are Jan. 2nd and Jan. 10th. You are right, as long as the essays are written and ready to go, she could wait to click send on the last two apps. She is having all 4 wisdom teeth out on Dec. 19 so I believe that she must have appls ready to go in order to get them out in time. She will hear from UF in Early February.</p>

<p>We, the parents, are the ones that make this a crazy and competitive process!! The parents talk about it more than the kids do. I think the reality is that some parents have their egos wrapped up in where their child attends college and that has made this process a nightmare for the children.</p>

<p>Seiclan-
Ahh a few more pieces of the puzzle.... So many variables contributing to the college app. fracas :) If she has her essays done (usually the major roadblock in many app. processes) she sounds like she is over the biggest hurdle. How much does she have left to do on the last 2 apps? Maybe she just needs a little time to come up for air. As stressful as this process is on us parents, we sometimes forget how awful it is on them. She's still got plenty of time to finish up the last two applications. Maybe she'll be bored on Thanksgiving if everyone turns to the football games and she'll crank them out then (though if she goes to UF it would help to like football!). Maybe her friends will tell her how many apps. they sent out and she'll fill the last two out in a panic. Maybe she'll have an experience like Curmudgeon's daughter and turn her college list on its ear. Who knows with teenagers...</p>

<p>As for the wisdom teeth-- there is sort of a good news- bad news thing. When my s. had his 4 out, he felt crummy that first day(subsided on Smoothie Kings and Planet Smoothies), was doing remarkably well the next day, and totally out and about by day three, remarking on how the experience was far less of a problem than he thought, and he felt he'd had a relatively easy time of it. Unfortunately, he then had a reaction to the antibiotic they gave him during the procedure, and about 10 days after he had his teeth out he landed in the hospital for 3 days!! That's apparently pretty rare, but just be careful. That was a yukky, scary experience.</p>