<p>Apple, I was unclear and incorrect on one point: I negotiated so that the non-merit aid was equivalent and the offered merit aid was on top of that. The non-merit aid was based on FAFSA/Profile in all cases but the spread was still surprising.</p>
<p>I negotiate as part of my living <a href="and%20probably%20over-negotiate%20some%20things%20in%20life,%20though%20I'm%20not%20as%20bad%20as%20most%20lawyers...cue%20response%20from%20lawyers">real estate</a> and I've made a habit of coaching clients not to walk around beaming in a house that they like. Same principle: Well, we <em>like</em> this one but there are others out there vs. ohmygod, we could actually get this house!</p>
<p>However, remember the old joke between being a prospect and a client.
(A person gets to choose between Heaven and Hell. Heaven is okay but Hell is really everything you could ask for. Person apologizes to Saint Peter but says he's choosing Hell. Fwoosh!!! He's in Hell, but instead of everything there was before, it's fire and brimstone time. Person complains and says, "What happened?" The Devil smiles and says, "Before you were a prospect, now you're signed up.")</p>
<p>Second year FinAid hit an annoying bump in that they added back the home office deduction (which I documented with photographs, showing an extremely messy office...told them they could not launch an environmental investigation) into my income, which probably cost $2-3K in FinAid. I hadn't claimed it for D's first year, so it may very well be a standard policy, but I do recall having heard, "You will never get as good a FinAid response as you do first year. Once they have you, they're less motivated." Shrug. One always cuts cards and then moves on. First year had some discussions about other tax issues which they agreed to see my way. I don't think they had to, I think they wanted to. Fwiw, I have reason to believe that D was in the top 2-5 percent of their class and they wanted her as much as any college wants any non-superstar. I also suspect that their competitive juices vs. Wellesley may have flowed a little bit.</p>
<p>Oh, and one more thing: I did make it clear that, "if you come up with the best offer, she will come." I wanted to make things as concrete and positive for them as possible, giving them an incentive to take their best shot.</p>
<p>apple17 - some of the email about "priority" applications is junk mail - that is, it may be coming from colleges that your kid has no interest whatsoever in attending. I wouldn't worry about it -- its a marketing gimmick to attract a larger applicant pool, and usually involves a waiver of the application fee and a promise of a fairly quick admissions decision. Obviously that's nice if it comes from a college that your kid already is considering applying to... but I wouldn't leap into the fray of sharing email accounts in order to monitor those things. </p>
<p>We do have a shared email account which we can use when there is a need for us both to get notice of things, but I use it mostly to make sure that my d. can see what I am doing, and not the other way around. For example, if I make a payment on line for something college-related, I provide the shared email address so that she will see the confirmation. D. also has her own email accounts that I do not have access to & also uses that for college correspondence.</p>
<p>Carolyn-
Best of luck to your d. on all fronts. She, and you, have sure had to bite off more that you can chew (sorry- couldn't resist a bad pun).</p>
<p>carolyn,
your d certainly has had a rough time of it. No fun being in pain and restricted. No wonder she has ups and downs (and it can't be easy on you either). I can relate. My s has had 18 surgeries and deals with pain on a daily basis. Some days are worse than others but he won't talk about it. We have to remind ourselves when he seems a bit cranky or sullen that he may be having a bad day. If we ask him how he feels, he simply says "fine" (he's so sick of hearing that). It's difficult to deal with when a bad day falls on SAT day, etc. The extra pressure our kids feel (hoping to feel good on an important day) must sometimes be the straw that breaks the camel's back. Hopefully your d finds some kind of relief. My s must take presc. pain meds round the clock but that's a problem in itself since it can affect his concentration (but then again, so does pain). Hope your d is soon feeling better.</p>
<p>Jerzgrlmom, Bless you for having to deal with your son's long term chronic pain. I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you. Sounds like your S. must be made of good stock, if he can treat his problems with such a positive attitude. Thanks for reminding me that my daughter's problems are relatively minor in the scheme of things.</p>
<p>And, here's an interesting thing I've noted this week: she has been feeling much better this week, not complaining as much about the pain or headaches, although she says she still has pain. Which leads me to wonder if some of the intensity of the pain wasn't related to the stress of getting those college applications done. :)</p>
<p>
[quote]
Which leads me to wonder if some of the intensity of the pain wasn't related to the stress of getting those college applications done
[/quote]
Carolyn-
She must have been having referred pain (common with dental problems). The location of the pain caused by the college application process is in the butt. :)</p>
<p>"Thanks for reminding me that my daughter's problems are relatively minor in the scheme of things."</p>
<p>carolyn, I didn't mean to imply your daughter's problems are minor. Pain of any kind is a BIG deal - when it impacts quality of life. (I still remember labordelivery and wonder why I ever thought it would be different the next time). My son has been dealing with his medical issues for many years and it's all he knows. In some ways, it has made him stronger.</p>
<p>I recommended purchasing a CrispAir Light bulb. I helps to get rid of cigarette smoke, odors and bacteria - its perfect for an enclosed room. You can buy it at Amazon.com.</p>
<p>I also recommend rolls of quarters for laundry. Light sleepers should take an eye mask and ear plugs - it helps if your roommate is staying up later than you. My roommate wasn't loud, but even if she stayed up typing and using her desk light it kept me awake. the eye mask and ear plugs allowed her to study and let me sleep. just make sure you can still hear your alarm!</p>