<p>What made it seem "real" to you that your S/D was really going off to college?</p>
<p>Everything I've done so far seems very superficial to me. I've signed up for my housing and meal plan, and for summer orientation. </p>
<p>Every time I do sign up for something else, I get really excited...but the excitement always wears down after a few days. Now I'm starting to worry that I chose the wrong school, and I hate having this doubt. Is it just because I haven't graduated HS yet? Will that make a difference?</p>
<p>You better not lose your enthusiasm for Sonoma! I’ve read a lot of your posts and have been enjoying your enthusiasm.</p>
<p>For me as a parent, it really hits home once the kid is dropped off at school and they’re no longer at home - it’s an emptiness. We just have to realize that the kid needs to take the next step but it’s still an emptiness. After our youngest went off to college it was so empty here we decided to replace her with a dog and went and got a dog at a rescue place (that this younger D actually did a lot of volunteering for).</p>
<p>For the student, it’ll really hits home once you’re there. It’ll hit home in a few ways though. Some of the ‘dreams’ are replaced with the reality of having to wake up, sit in class, do homework, take tests, be concerned about grades, etc. But, it also means you’re more on your own, self-directed to succeed or not in school, socially, etc. Once the reality hits the student will likely experience some let-downs but also some great new experiences. It depends on their outlook and expectations. I don’t think you should worry too much about the school since these ups/downs of excitement versus reality would apply to any school. </p>
<p>But anyway, I hope you keep up your enthusiasm.</p>
<p>For me it became real the night we finished packing D’s stuff. Everything up until that moment was hectic, exciting, etc. She went out with friends for one get together and I completely fell apart. I was ok the next day because we were busy driving, checking into a hotel, buying last minute items, but that last night in the hotel with her was REALLY hard. I cried after she went to sleep!</p>
<p>For her I it became real after her room as set up and she left us to join her orientation group. She told me she cried for several nights even though she was crazy busy that entire week. She loved her school from the very beginning, she just really missed home.</p>
<p>It’s different for everyone, but I think you and yours will do great!!</p>
<p>I think it’s a very conflicted time for young adult students:</p>
<p>a) on the one hand, you have the excitement of a new adventure and adult independence</p>
<p>b) on the other hand, it’s the end of life as you know it and everything that comfortable and familiar. Kind of scary.</p>
<p>Right now is the toughest because you are still immersed in your old life. That will change towards the end of summer as your friends start to go their separate ways. </p>
<p>Everything you are feeling is perfectly normal. Everyone feels it. I think the best thing you can do is immerse yourself in the college community over the summer. Hang out on the admitted students chatboards. Exchange e-mails with your new room-mate, etc.</p>
<p>As to your question, it gets wicked real for parents when you turn to leave and wave bye to your kid at the end of parents’ drop-off at college. I recommend making that final goodbye short and sweet – otherwise, everyone will just end up bawlin’.</p>
<p>For me it was a the “lasts” - last game, last dance, last concert, last presentation. I cried for months prior to commencement, then was perfectly fine during the ceremony!</p>
<p>It is not quite real for me yet, but there are a few twinges now and then.
The " lasts "
Just last night, the last prom.
For some reason, seeing a girl that was friends with my daughter back in kindegarden thru 3rd grade .
I am also worried about working without her in the summers to come.
The next month will be emotional</p>
<p>It always hit me when the housing assignment came. Having the name of the roommate and a room assignment made it seem all too real. Who is this stranger that will be living with my baby? :eek: It always worked out fine.</p>
<p>For now, concentrate on enjoying the end of your high school years. I guarantee you will once again be excited about SS after graduation. Best wishes, this is a very exciting time.</p>
<p>For me, it was real a whole year before my baby left – I was watching the news and they showed that year’s crop of freshmen moving into the dorms, saying goodby to their parents. I just started bawling, knowing that next year that’s what we’d be doing. It made my letting go during senior year much easier.</p>
<p>For me, I think what made it “real” was the two-day student/parent orientation that I attended with S. We had both only seen the campus (we live 1500 miles away) once before ,after he had been accepted, but even that visit was a shared experience and much like any other college visit since he had not yet decided to attend. </p>
<p>During orientation, students and parents were separated and I barely saw S the entire time - that’s when it really hit me, that THIS PLACE would be HIS new home (and that I would NOT be a part of it). But, at least I got some comfort by visiting and familiarizing myself with his “new home”, and so felt much less sad/anxious when the real good-by came at the end of the summer!</p>
<p>HisGrace-- that’s totally normal! You know that mailing in your housing form is like “All right, I’m going!” but at the same time it’s also just putting a piece of paper in the mail. When you’re actually there (for orientation, but especially when you move in), it will become real for you. If your friends from home leave for school earlier than you, it will start to hit you then.</p>
<p>Don’t mistake your lack of thrill over doing the necessary tasks for lack of excitement about the college! It will come back for real and (if you’re lucky) continue to stay with you during your years there.</p>
<p>At S1’s school the students march from a large chapel, led by bagpipes, to a gate in the main quad, from there, the students separate from their parents, who stay outside the gate looking through the bars, and enter to the cheers of current students. It is quite a powerful metaphor and is quite moving. (They have student workers passing out tissues to the parents.)</p>
<p>XD…I have all of maybe two or three friends who are also going away to college, and one of them is going an hour away.</p>
<p>The other is going to Oklahoma, though, so she’ll probably leave quite a few days before me.</p>
<p>I think I’m pretty comfortable right now because I know that most of my friends are staying here, so I’ll be able to see them when I come home for a visit. And actually, some of my VERY best friends are juniors this year, so they’ll definitely still be here next year. :)</p>
<p>Thanks for all the wonderful advice! I’ll keep you all posted on new events.</p>
<p>OH. I signed up for my meal plan this week. AND, I only have two REAL weeks of school left (after that, I have 4 days of Senior Finals ((one of which I don’t have to attend)), followed by Senior Week and GRADUATION!!!).</p>
First girl in my SLC to be accepted! (My SLC is only about 6 years old, though.)</p>