<p>Marian- no prob... you other posts actually catch much of my thinking on this subject. The situation you describe is not what I am dissapointed in , it is the casual relations and I was thinking of the DUKE article floating around from rolling stone I beieve and also some of my experiences (so nothing is new)</p>
<p>Which brings a good point, I went to what many would consider a mediocre state school --years ago -- and it was right for me. Even then I regret missing out on many things. I wish I would have invited interesting girls on dates to the free recitals that music majors had, rather than to ex*****ve mediocre restaurants an dmovies, and on it goes. But thatwas some learning for me. </p>
<p>Again, maybe this fit thing s overrated, you fit where you want to... but certainly some places generate one vib v another.</p>
<p>Another musing, I wouldnt mind if colleges were in loco parentis (sp ?) for the first year....or even better if our society had interesting one year gap esperiences with some supervision for a year --especially for boys. </p>
I knew your son had been uprooted because of Katrina but I never thought seriously about this until now. Three schools in 3 semesters?</p>
<p>I think you're right that your son has grown more than the typical freshman. I'm sure his positive attitude and ability to adjust played a role and that those qualities will continue to benefit him during his adult life.</p>
<p>In my experience, finding a college that "fit" my son was a long process:</p>
<p>1) Decide what the student wants - we were able to narrow things down a little by having him prioritize things that were important to him (medium to large size school, good department in his major, good academics overall, not to close to home, strong sports program, decent merit/financial aid, etc). Remember, these things may change later in the process... that's OK.</p>
<p>2) Research different schools - there are many books & websites out there devoted to describing/ranking/rating colleges... USE THEM! It is not possible to visit every potential college, so why not use the resources available. I was able to help out with alot of this reaseach, because my son really did not have time to do it all himself. That is what led me to College Confidential.</p>
<p>3) Visit schools - this is the most exhaustive part of the process, but probably the most important. Use family vacations, holidays off school, summers (although not the best time) to visit as many colleges as possible. It is very helpful in defining what qualities are important and what is not. Don't be discouraged if the student does not like many of the schools, JUST FIND OUT WHY! It is important to ask questions after each visit to determine what they liked and what they did not.</p>
<p>4) Final visits after acceptances (while college is in session) - we visited top 2 choices. One we had seen already, the other we had never seen. After we toured the one he had never seen, he had that light-bulb moment I had hoped for! He had found his "fit"! But I don't believe it was luck or fate, but the result of careful planning and research.</p>
<p>Hey a comment, the spitrituality comment was maybe a bit offtrack -- I was just musing about life. I think -- to a large degree --the comments from marian and jmmom capture much of what I was searching for. Life isnt always what you can get but what you can make of what you recieve and likewise what you can give back .. a "It not about me" focus in life. and a "no whining" approach to life. ..this transcends many things from the practical to the eternal .... </p>
<p>I likewise know a tulane engineering student, and they have grown significantly this year.</p>
<p>FOR new college searchers, this is important to remember.. It may give you some pride to talk about where your student is going to colege their senior year, but by October, no one cares, and it is you, your student and their life and decisions are all that is left .... and there may be twists and turns (like Katrina) levelling the best laid plans</p>
<p>My daughter went through an agonizing college search and selection. She really got consumed with making the "right" choice and "fit". In the end, she chose a college that was not on her original list nor did it hit all of the criteria she had originally thought were important to her. The times she visited she was aware it lack some of these things but in the end, she chose her college because faculty in her field had been very responsive to her emails and questions and on the two visits to the school, when she stepped out of the airport shuttle bus, it just felt like "home". </p>
<p>At winter break of her sophmore year, I asked my daughter what she would have done differently now in her college search. She immediately answered that she would looked at more diverse types of colleges from the beginning instead of trying to find a school that fulfilled the most number of items on her wish list. She would have determined what things are "deal breakers" (for her things such as lack of merit aid and at least a decent department in one or two of her areas of interest) and kept a more open mind on the other things. She is happy at her school but realizes now that she could have been happy at serveral school</p>
<p>When she was trying to make her final decision, I told her that this wasn't a life and death decision. Her entire future wasn't gone to go down the toilet if she chose incorrectly. If it didn't work out, she could transfer. She might have to take out more loans, etc because the same aid wouldn't be there as a transfer student but it could be done and we would support that decision if she needed to make it. She now realizes I was right.</p>