<p>I know, it says Stanford, but after reading this essay, you will find it is hard to omit this. What do you think about my essay? It is at its maximum word count.</p>
<p>I know Stanford University meets my standards for quality education andexcuse my modestyI know I meet Stanfords standards. I have passion for learning, I am diligent in my work, and take my future seriously. By the way, my favorite colors are crimson red and white. I know that any college I go to will be prestigious; this I am sure. All of the colleges I am applying to have nice looking campuses, a medium sized student body, and challenging classes. Stanford offers all of the organizations and opportunities I am looking for, but what make Stanford University different the most are its cohesive student body and its compatibility with my wants and needs.</p>
<p>I am ending my high school career at the Tennessee Governors Academy (TGA), a prestigious residential school with twenty-six students from all over the state. We are all unique individuals with strong personalities, and we all brought something to the school. For example, I brought my heritage and religion to some who have never seen an Arab or a Muslim. I was able to teach them about my culture and religion. Here, I receive a rigorous, privileged education, like I will at Stanford. What makes attending TGA invaluable is my personal experiences with the students. The way we interact and live with each other have created precious memories and taught us lifelong lessons as a dynamic body. I know that Stanfords selection process focuses on the cohesiveness and uniqueness of the student body, and that is what stands out the most to me.</p>
<p>Thank you!</p>
<p>So apparently there are people on this forum that steal essays, so if you can take your essay off the post and send it to select people you think you can trust with your essay, then that would be the best. If the time limit’s up, I guess your essay is staying online where everyone can see it.</p>
<p>For edits, I have to tell you that your essay looks a bit generic in all honesty. The majority of people you’re competing with probably are diligent, hard-working, etc (and I hope all of them care about their future). Not only that, but based on the fact that you’re applying to Stanford and the elitism you reek in your first paragraph, I’m guessing your GPA, SAT’s, transcript, EC’s are very good. They can tell from all of these things that you are diligent/hard-working/etc; use this paragraph to tell them something new about you. Stanford claims that character is a main factor in determining who gets in, so show them your character.</p>
<p>I think it’s good you talk about your heritage and religion, and you could make that the focus of your essay. But, as with all of the college essay you’ll ever write, this essay is supposed to be about you and why Stanford is a good place for you (not why you should get into Stanford). I sounds to me like you want to go the direction of Stanford’s diversity, so roll with that and talk about that and why that would be good for you, how you can contribute to it (using the example from your second paragraph), etc.</p>
<p>Another idea is to add specifics about Stanford (student-run activities you want to be involved in, places you want to visit or spend time at, etc.) and about your experiences (those “life-long memories” are three abstract words until you paint a picture for the reader to help him/her envision them).</p>
<p>I’ll let you know that I’m also a Stanford applicant, so you can take my advice however you want to take it (someone genuinely trying to give you advice or someone trying to sabotage you). Ignorance is bliss, but what kind of CC-er would prefer ignorance?</p>
<p>Thank you for your excellent advice. This obviously calls for a rewrite of my essay. Thanks again!!</p>
<p>fsaleh: PM one of the mods/admins and tell them to remove this post because it’s really easy for even one the viewers of this thread to steal your essay and/or its ideas. Even though you’re rewriting your essay, your original ideas may still be copied and may prove harmful in the long run.</p>