<p>Back from a couple more tours/interviews/second visits and inspired to spill more digital ink on this topic in the hopes that others may benefit from this cautionary tale.</p>
<p>"In one waiting room, I saw an male candidate wearing jeans, ratty sneakers, and a oversized sweatshirt.</p>
<p>Later, in the same room, I saw a female candidate wearing really tight jeans (they may have even been those "jeggings"?) and a t-shirt-like v-neck top that was more revealing than may have been warranted for the occasion.</p>
<p>Both sets of parents were dressed more appropriately for the day than either child."</p>
<p>I really couldn't believe that these kids had shown up at this very selective, well-known prep school dressed like they were going to hang out with their friends, out to the movies, or maybe just stay at home and play COD. Or that their parents didn't give them some friendly advice before leaving home like "You are not going to your interview at SCHOOL X dressed like that." FWIW, I do not think either case was due to not having anything else to wear to the interview.</p>
<p>Call me old fashioned, but I thought that you were supposed to get slightly dressed up/look presentable for interviews? If Gemma V is out there, would love an AO's perspective on this.</p>
<p>Seven, I am with you. I was amazed with how many kids dressed. I saw no parents dressed badly, thus it wasnt a money issue. </p>
<p>I am a parent that is still the parent of a teenager-she doesnt make “crazy” decisions on wearing jeans to an interview. </p>
<p>My d isnt into dresses, she is very “preppy” thus it was easy for me as long as it was a top, bottom, blazer.</p>
<p>I also think it somewhat depends on the school. I think places like Exeter, Lawerenceville, etc, that are more casual schools would be ok with a boy with a sweater/no tie. Whereas schools such a Deerfield, Andover, SPS are more formal thus would expect those interested to dress accordingly. </p>
<p>Side Note-why would a kid apply to a school like Deerfield if they hated formal dress and hated being in rural Mass?? I think lots of people dont do their research before they show up …sad.</p>
<p>I saw a kid at Andover with a pair of jeans and an artsy t shirt on. But then again, he was talking and apparently was a big “theater geek” so it kind of fit his personality. Personally, I always wore the jacket/tie thing. I’m very comfortable in formal clothes, I actually sorta like Deerfield’s dress code! But he was the only kid I didn’t see with a tie. Anyone else see anyone like this?</p>
<p>At all of my interviews, the other students were actually all dressed up to an extent. The least dressed up person I saw was a male applicant who was wearing a polo and shorts. But this interview was in the summer and the AO who interviewed me said that the dresscode was more relaxed at that time.</p>
<p>I remember stopping for breakfast at Lulu’s Diner’s in Ojai on the way to our Thacher interview. I had made my son wear a coat and tie; it was just the two of us that day. Aside from there being very few tie-wearers in California generally, there was definitely no formal dress to be seen anywhere at Lulu’s. As we walked in, I could hear my son groan under his breath “way to go Dad, now we look like total idiots.” Anyway, when we got to the admission’s waiting room, lo and behold, the other three kids wearing ties in California that day were all there. Even if you never wear a tie again during your four years of boarding school, it’s a sign of respect to dress up for an interview and a sign of good judgment not to be overly revealing if you’re a young lady.</p>
<p>Last year, before my son’s Andover interview, we stopped at a little restaurant in the town of Andover for lunch. It was a casual place a peak lunch time. My son was hesitant, saying, “But mom, I’m wearing a sports coat and a tie.” I told him that he looked like a man and not to be worry about it. Sure enough, the place with filled with businessmen in suits. He grinned when he saw it. To him, being dressed like that was special, but to every professional man out there, it’s simply being appropriately dressed.</p>
<p>Of course, ordering a latte for me at McDonalds and paying with a hundred because that’s all I had in cash while in full interview attire was a little awkward for him.</p>
<p>We saw this at two of the four schools my child has visited. In both cases the student’s dress was matched by the parents’. Old t-shirts over scruffy jeans and sneakers (not the more artsy black t/skinny jeans/hightops look). Neither student’s attire would have passed the school dress code.</p>
<p>I did not not get a sense this was due to financial constraints but rather a lack of knowledge about proper dress for an interview. Then again perhaps they didn’t care.</p>
<p>I’m more disturbed by the underdressed kids with parents in business attire. To me it screams, “My parents dragged me here and the only way they could get me to cooperate this much was to give in on the clothes.” At least I can cut some slack to families who have never been in a BS environment and don’t know the social norms. For all I know the kids I saw showed up in khakis and collared shirts for their next interviews.</p>
<p>I think an AO’s perspective would be very helpful. I’ve heard the interview is not so important, but I can’t imagine that looking sloppy is ever good form.</p>
<p>I agree that certain schools such as Deerfield and Choate put it out there right on their website for potential applicants that how one dresses is important in forming a good impression, but I wonder about other schools like Exeter and Andover who assert that the application “is stand alone.”</p>
<p>I think the AOs understand the context of a candidate’s clothing. If your child comes from a pre-prep, wears a jacket & tie every day, and has received clear instructions on what to wear, then insisting on wearing jeans and a t-shirt sends a clear message that the boy is Not With the Program. </p>
<p>On the other hand, a parent’s idea of “suitable clothing” could be a child’s idea of “Dork. On Stilts.” (Sometimes, the child might be right.) Children also grow unpredictably, so the jacket and dress shoes which fit last week might be too small this week.</p>
<p>I have no idea if it influences a candidate’s chances of admission. I suspect it would, IF there’s no doubt the student 1) knows what’s appropriate, 2) possesses such items of clothing, and 3) chose not to wear them. </p>
<p>On the other hand, I can be socially maladroit at times. I have even asked people things such as, “should I tip you?” There are things which are not common knowledge to those outside of your set. It’s not a bad thing to come from other parts of the world. It would be a kindness if some school were to place on their websites an “interviewing for dummies” guide. I know that I have appreciated in the past the instances in which schools sent guidance on proper dress through the mail, such as, “candidates feel most comfortable on our campus if their attire conforms to our dress code.” Perhaps we can put such a guide together here, and place it as a sticky thread at the top. Many new posters seem to look for interview attire advice.</p>
<p>We did see one candidate wearing another culture’s version of coat and tie. It looked a bit ridiculous in a US context but clearly the boy and his family had put some effort into dressing him appropriately. They deserved credit for the attempt. </p>
<p>I don’t think it’s asking too much for a US candidate to scan the school’s website, notice that boys are wearing coat and tie in all the pictures, and show up in something nicer than torn jeans. Even if they can’t find someone from whom to borrow a blazer, how difficult is it to go to Old Navy or Marshall’s and pick up a $10 polo shirt and some inexpensive khakis?</p>
<p>Sue22, in our visits to schools, most of the applicants we saw were nicely dressed. They had obviously made an effort. We didn’t see any parents & children in old jeans and scruffy t-shirts.</p>
<p>If you take dress altogether out of the equation, there was one young girl we say being interviewed who had bed-head. Her hair was really a tangled mess and it made us ponder what were the parents thinking?</p>
<p>Maybe they wanted to leave it up to the child and let the AO see the child good traits and bad, but I would think for any interview regardless of clothing, one should be appropriately groomed.</p>
<p>I suppose I’m not a stickler on dress and grooming. Most families we’ve met in the waiting rooms were nice people, willing to smile and compare notes on their experiences so far. Some were very nervous, so everyone just nodded in a friendly way.</p>
<p>The oddest, though, were the family who were friendly, happy, outgoing…whenever an AO was in the room. (And only when an AO was in the room.) We had never seen behavior like that before. By the way, they were impeccably dressed.</p>
<p>“The oddest, though, were the family who were friendly, happy, outgoing…whenever an AO was in the room. (And only when an AO was in the room.)”</p>
<p>Hopefully there was a parent host in the room making mental notes.</p>
<p>The oddest behavior I’ve seen was from the father who went on and on about another school, while saying less than enthusiastic things about the school in whose waiting room we were sitting. This continued after the parent host gently explained the reasons her child had turned down the other school. (He, too, was impeccably dressed.)</p>
<p>Many schools have a parent, sometimes more than one, who sits in the admissions waiting room and answers questions from visiting families. These people can be a great resource. While we were waiting to be interviewed we asked a lot of questions like, “How easy is it to visit your child here?” and “Why did you choose this school?” You also get to listen in on the conversations they’re having with the parents of other applicants. One of the schools had a student filling this role as well.</p>
<p>BTW, I’m not sure if “parent host” is a universally used term. I know this was how the parent at at least one school was introduced to us.</p>
<p>The kids I mention were definitely not going for any sort of “look” that I could ascertain. And their parents were in, at minimum, “business casual” attire. One dad was wearing a blazer and oxford shirt. Socio-economic status was not a factor in either case, IMO.</p>
<p>For US students/families, I second Sue22’s “Even if they can’t find someone from whom to borrow a blazer, how difficult is it to go to Old Navy or Marshall’s and pick up a $10 polo shirt and some inexpensive khakis?” If you are aware of these schools, then surely you are aware of what one might wear to an interview? </p>
<p>I am reminded of an interview for a summer job after my freshman year at college. It was at a movie theater in my hometown…I was applying to be an usher/concession worker. I wore clean untorn jeans, an unwrinkled rugby shirt, and probably some white K-swiss sneakers or LL Bean Camp mocs (I know, I’m totally dating myself here). I got the job, but at the end of the interview, the manager said “SevenDad, I want to give you a tip. I know that you’re in college and everything and that this is just a temporary job. But the next time, you might not want to wear jeans to an interview.”</p>
<p>I think we can all agree that the atmosphere of a top BS admissions office is a few notches up compared to a small town movie theater. And if I can get called out for wearing jeans in that environment, I think it’s perfectly valid to call out the BS prospects I’ve seen doing the same.</p>