Yeah, I think I’m just going to let it go. If we got this invitation, likely many other people received it also.
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I’d let it go. I send out such invitations and it has nothing to do with expecting anything in return. I’m.not on any of the usual social media sites and I send them to people (usually older people/former neighbors, etc) who I think would go “aww. That’s sweet.” When they read it. And that’s all. Doesn’t faze me in the slightest if they don’t give anything. I don’t keep score.
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I dislike the entire announcement industry and avoid it. I usually gift a book.
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I’d ignore it. If you haven’t interacted with them for 15 years, I wouldn’t send anything. Are you interested in re-establishing the friendship? If that’s the case, I might consider sending something.
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15 years…and they sent you a graduation announcement? That’s a little odd unless this is a relative that should have been interacting with you…and just didn’t. That would mean you haven’t seen the graduate since they were VERY young.
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I’d ignore as well.
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I’d ignore it too. Or if you really want to send something, maybe just send a card.
They might think you’re cheap or they might not. Not everyone thinks that way. I wouldn’t think anyone was cheap just for sending $20 or just a card. But that’s me.
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I have a dilemma, 2 years ago I gave my niece only $100 because I spent about $1500 flying out 4 of my kids for her graduation party at my sister’s request (even though we had just seen each other a couple of weeks earlier on our annual vacation). This year my nephew is having a party this weekend, my sister bought plane tickets for 2 of my kids and another bought his own yo surprise him. We will all be together in a couple of weeks for our annual vacation. I feel like $100 isn’t enough sine I didn’t buy any plane tickets (although a bunch of Ubers will be involved with logistics). My niece and nephews live a very comfortable lives anc want for nothing (cars, college, several fantastic vacations, generous allowances). Is $100 okay?
Yes.
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$100 is more than ok
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PA DD graduated last year. Most friends brought $25-50 and parents $50-100.
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The important thing is that you will be together to celebrate. Money does not sound like the driving force which is certainly a blessing. The $100 gift is fine and in fact I think it would be awkward to give different amounts to your sister’s two children for the same milestone.
If you want to do something or bring something for your sister and her husband as a thanks for your kid’s airfare that might be nice but doesn’t sound necessary.
Enjoy the time together!
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Well, my husband and I aren’t going, my sister really just wants the cousins, she is divorced, she booked the flights with points (she and her ex are 1k on United every year). I love my sister an her kids, and the cousins love each other (mine are 26, 25, 22, 20 and 20, hers are 20, 19, and 17). The best part is they will fly in here in a few weeks and we have our annual beach house rental, which we’ve done since our mom passed 8 years ago. The older they get, the more they all get along.
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So nice that they get along well and want to be together. As adults my cousins and I (on one side of the family) are very close and it is a wonderful thing.
I would give the same $100 gift and you and your kids can thank your sister for her generosity (even if she booked with points).
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My sister calls it the Swapping of $50 bills Season.
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My kids are always very super thankful, I’m sure they will. My sister is always generous with them because they are really appreciative. There are 5 of them and they really appreciate family (my mom was the family glue, I think every family has that person), and my kids want to see cousins, second cousins, we try to make that happen. My cousin’s wife and son visited my (very blonde light skin) daughter at Clemson, she is from the Philippines, they got up to use the restroom, kids my daughter knew came up to her to ask about her Asian family, my daughter was like that’s my aunt and my cousin (aunt is a psychiatrist psychiatrist and sat down with my daughters friends asking questions, they thought she was the coolest person ever with her expensive purse but also her opinions, my daughter was thrilled). Family is important.
I agree about the importance of family. You raised lovely children and are fortunate to have such a wonderful extended family. I am lucky to be in a similar situation. – in fact my D and her husband are hosting a family gathering of 35+ people later this summer at their home (fingers crossed for good weather). But we digress LOL.
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Family (we don’t have a big family): We spend about $50. Either in the form of cash, gift card, or a gift that costs around $50. For example we gave my niece a laptop case, laptop cover, mousepad, and wireless mouse that she asked for in her favorite color. All together that cost about $50. For my other niece we chipped in for a set of bedding she wanted for her dorm.
Friends: For my kid’s best friends that we’ve all known for a long time. We gave about $40 or a gift costing $40 for HS graduation. For my kid’s best friends H and I were invited to the graduation parties too. D and S also got invited to friend’s grad parties, but H and I weren’t invited. It’s a case of these kid’s are more their friends. In that case D and S either gave a card or used their own money for a gift.
We gave nieces/nephews $100 for HS grad and $200 for college (we don’t have tons of nieces and nephews and are close to them all. And there isn’t more than 1 a year so it never feels painful 
).
For close kids/family friends we gave/will give $100 - there are maybe 5 to 7-ish of them.
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