<p>It’s a lot easier to be tolerant of appearance than behavior.</p>
<p>The group that really took the cake on one of our tours was a kid, his parents and his grandparents. I don’t remember what they were wearing, but everyone certainly noticed them. It was obvious that the kid had made his college decision very late in the game (it wasn’t a school with a wait list) and the family was loudly trashing the bottom of the barrel housing option that the kid was going to have to live with.</p>
What I wear is fine, it’s not impolite and it’s not inconsiderate of others. There actually are no ‘standards’ unless specifically stated for an event unless you think the ‘standards’ are whatever ‘you’ happen to decide at the moment and the standard clearly doesn’t exclude shorts since there are so many who actually wear them to events such as this. While ‘you’ might not happen to ‘like it’ for whatever reason when someone wears shorts to a function like a college tour, it doesn’t actually hurt you. It’s not the equivalent of someone playing loud noise or some of the other invasive behavior you mentioned.</p>
<p>It’s not about what other people think. <em>I</em> care about what I look like. It has nothing to do with what other people might think or react to. </p>
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<p>I was on a thread once with some people from CA and the topic happened to be Six Flags and similar amusement parks, and the people from CA thought it was “overly dressy” for someone to wear a polo shirt and shorts to such a theme park, whereas those from New England didn’t see that as overly dressy at all - a polo shirt was merely a version of a t-shirt for casual wear. The disconnect between the two was quite humorous.</p>
<p>We used to give one of our law partners grief because he had season tickets to Six Flags. One guy asked him, “Do they pass out the wife beaters [tank tops] with the season pass, or do you have to pay extra?”</p>
This makes sense PG when in a setting like a campus tour. I care what I look like as well but different people have different ideas of what they prefer. For myself I happen to like blue but not pink but that’s just me - I don’t care if someone else prefers the reverse. I’m just surprised at the ‘shorts bashing’ on this thread since wearing shorts for campus tours is very common at the campuses out here.</p>
<p>I must say that I’m not *judgmental *about what people wear. Rather, I’m *amused *and fascinated by the psychology of it all. </p>
<p>Our office building is full of bankers and lawyers. When I see a woman coming to work wearing sequins, I’m fascinated…has she noticed that no one else wears sequins to work at her law firm or bank? Has she noticed and she thinks she’s better dressed than everyone else? </p>
<p>When the 45 year old employee consistently dresses like a 21 year old, does she think that we think she’s 21, or does she just think the clothes are cute and doesn’t care what anyone else thinks?</p>
<p>Is the dad who wears super short running shorts to the chapel convocation at college comfortable wearing shorts shorts in church, or did he just forget to pack anything else?</p>
<p>And last but not least, does the person in super tight clothes that show everything *want *us to see everything, or is she oblivious?</p>
<p>Well, there still are standards even if other people don’t honor them. </p>
<p>I was at a bris this weekend. My H served as the mohel and my S and I also attended. H was in a suit; I wore a pencil skirt and heels and S wore khakis, a button down, a blazer and nice shoes. Now there were people there dressed in all kinds of outfits, some in outfits like ours, some a bit more casual but still polished. But there were also some young women wearing what were basically tank tops and short skirts and some men wearing casual shorts and casual shirts. And yes, I thought they were inappropriate in a house of worship on a special occasion. There were standards; the fact that X number of people chose to ignore the standards and dress like idiots for a nice occasion didn’t obviate the fact that yes, standards exist. </p>
<p>My soon-to-be 18 yo son doesn’t particularly <em>enjoy</em> wearing khakis and a button down, but I’m not raising him to be unaware of the fact that how you dress in certain situations sends signals about you. That doesn’t mean he went to college visits in a suit – he wore jeans and a sweater or long-sleeved t-shirt. But he came across as a clean-cut young man, not as a slob in clothing-to-mow-the-lawn.</p>
<p>^^ But a campus tour is quite different from a religious ceremony and again, from the campus tours I’ve been on in California, a man wearing shorts is quite common and nowhere at all out of line except possibly in the minds of a few and I’m not concerned about what those few think about what I wear anyway.</p>
<p>I never paid attention to what other families / parents <em>wore</em> when I was on tours (I suppose something egregious might have stood out, but I don’t remember anything off the top of my head). However, my standards for myself really aren’t based on what other people do. IOW, I don’t particularly care if the mother next to me on the tour looks like she just rolled out of bed or the father is wearing socks and sandals – that’s their problem, and it doesn’t impact me in any way; however, I prefer not to adhere to that standard.</p>
<p>I always tell myself to be tolerant in a house of worship because the fact that the person is there is more important than what they wear. HOWEVER…last Sunday there was a teen girl in short shorts. Her mom was dressed the nines so I’m positive that that wasn’t the only outfit she owned…</p>
<p>Does anyone understand that there are families where their attire is mow-the-lawn clothes because that is what they do for a living? The idea of having a wardrobe to make style and, apparently, class statements about oneself is not only foreign to many people, it is totally beyond their means. Yet, those people have kids, some of whom are equally smart as or smarter than your kid or mine. And, they want their kid to attend college and, on occasion, make campus visits.</p>
<p>I guess because my parents grew up during the Depression and, in the late 1920s, took any job they could find (my father worked on road crews laying tar), they were great believers of “you can’t judge a book by its cover.” Dad became a lawyer and argued before the US Supreme Court on at least two occasions. Mom did not get to go to college because her father died without insurance or assets while she was in HS and she had to work to support her mother and younger brother. She worked on commission at a clothing store where they gave the employees a uniform dress. </p>
<p>Wow-- standards for “proper” attire for others! Speaks volumes.</p>
<p>But more commonly I see nicely dressed wife, nicely dressed child, mow-the-lawn dad. I don’t for a moment believe that the father is poor but is selflessly turning over his entire clothing budget to his wife and child. </p>
<p>You should see my husband and I when we attend morning functions at school. I am dressed to come straight to work as a lawyer. He is dressed to go straight to the gym…baggy shorts, stained t-shirt, etc. I guess some nice person observing only him might pity his poverty - in reality, he just doesn’t want to go home and change before his work out.</p>
<p>Oh puh-lease, 07Dad!
Do you think your dad wore his his work crew clothes to his law school classes? Do you think this cadre of lawnmowers wear their work clothes to, say, church?
The OP was just asking about dressing for a college tour for heaven’s sake. He wanted to be comfortable with his daughter. If he didn’t care that much about it or didn’t have choices, I don’t think he would have posted.
Other posters have pointed out that they are not interested in dressing for anything but comfort on college tours. So be it!</p>
<p>I grew up in a 2 bedroom rowhouse that was 10 or 12 feet wide in a working-class neighborhood in a major city, living with my then-single (divorced) mother, grandparents and great-grandfather - 5 of us in the house. I shared a room with my mother til I was 5 years old. My grandfather was a blue-collar steelworker who also took a second job at the ballpark to make ends meet. My mother was a great student but there was no money for her to go to college after high school so she went to work and attended night school as she was able to. We were solidly working class, but we still had “Sunday best” and we still had appropriate clothing for occasions. It was purchased on sale, but we knew better and we always dressed as if we knew better. We’re not talking about expensive clothing. These days, everything I’m talking about could be purchased at Target or Walmart. We’re talking about knowing enough to be able to pull oneself together and understand that what one wears for mowing the lawn or working on the car is for, well, mowing the lawn and working on the car. This has very little to do with money and a lot to do with an awareness that there’s a big world out there.</p>
<p>The premise that the hard-working people who ARE working as gardeners, landscapers, housekeepers, etc. must not know enough to be able to put on something a bit nicer than their work clothes is, in of and itself, potentially insulting.</p>
This is likely related to how there are probably 20x women’s clothing stores than Men’s clothing stores at the mall. Women just generally care more about clothing than men. I hate having to shop for clothes but I’ve heard that some women actually enjoy shopping for clothes!</p>
Means, or lack thereof, is not an excuse. Nowadays clothing can be purchased fairly cheaply at end-of-season sales or at garage sales if nothing else.</p>