I guess I’m just posting this on the off chance that someone will see this.
I never had a lot of friends before college. I go bullied often and always sat alone. But I always had that dream of college as a place where that stuff would all be in the past. Now that I’m in college I don’t even know what to think. I know the first week is normally supposed to be hard but I feel like this has gone beyond that. First off no one in my hall talks to me, aside from awkward stares, they don’t really like to acknowledge that I exist. Usually pretty normal the first few days of highschool but still a little over the top. Then there’s the talking about me online. I caught my roommate reading an email from one of his friends about how annoying I am. He even showed it to me, not seeing how it could be construed as a bit offensive. My roommate is kinda oblivious. Sometimes he gets angry at me when I forget things such as: the exact name of an obscure programming language, the fact that he read a chapter of some weird manga about a homeless man… He’s kinda lazy. I’m the only one who does any chores around the dorm and whenever one of his friends walk by I take their messages. So not only does he not hang out with me(usually tells me he has homework to do. Later goes out with friends at the same time) but I’m acting as his servant. I just have no idea what to do anymore.
You sound like you need more help with social skills than we can give you on an internet site, honestly. Maybe he showed you the email to try to show you some of the behaviors that are off-putting to other people. Put up a message board on your door; it is an exaggeration to say you are his servant for taking s message about who stopped by, but you can politely suggest that they write on the board if they have a message for him. And he does not owe you friendship. Lots of people aren’t buddies with their roommates. You should get out and join clubs, get a part time job, or volunteer on or off campus to meet more people. Be friendly. If you are still struggling in a month or so, you might want to visit you college health services and see if they have counseling services.
Some people can naturally make friends during orientation but you may not have it as easy.
You may just need to find your “tribe”.
You may need to brush up on your social skills.
I would suggest going to the counseling center ASAP and tell them what you told us.
They will see what kind of “vibe” you give off …they are there to help students adjust.
I would suggest maybe being nice and friendly to his friends…perhaps you will get included. If not, put a message board up for him and say “Why don’t you leave a message on the board? I don’t want to forget to tell him.”
Do you attend dorm events? Talk to your RA about this issue and see what they have to say.
You may have had an activity fair? Sign up for clubs.
What do you like to do for fun?
You could also talk to your roommate and say “I was thinking about that email your friend sent the other day…are there behaviors of mine you find annoying?”
Do you talk to people on your floor of the dorm? Offering food is always a good ice breaker. “Hey I have some cookies…anyoen want some?”
Use this time to learn new skills and you will get that chance to start fresh.