It’s not just sports! I think a lot of talented kids are identified early these days via gifted programs and various competitions.
You should let her blossom into the beautiful person God has intended her to be, and you should enjoy watching that process as the last four years with her will go by in the blink of an eye. Don’t waste them trying to turn your child into an ivy admissions bot.
For a girl who isn’t likely going to blossom in soccer if she hasn’t shown considerable talent yet…it’s not too late to row. Row Row Row her boat all the way into Stanford, Harvard, or Yale and her life will have meaning because she got the golden ticket. Please. OP having goals is not a negative thing, but the appropriate way to manage this as a parent is not to encourage the end goal thinking. The end goal is not the reward. Encourage your child to do her best, to learn and explore- for it is this that will truly enrich her life. Then regardless of college outcomes, your daughter will see that knowledge was the reward.
I am not sure you are still reading this thread…but if you are I hope you will take this advice in the spirit in which it is intended.
My academic star daughter received a full scholarship in 7th-12th grade at one of the most expensive private schools in our city.
She pursued her interests, was a leader at school, was the top 1 or 2 student in her class all through HS.
She had a 1550 on the SAT.
She was rejected by 8 colleges - including a few Ivies.
LUCKILY, she did not have a “dream” college and she was accepted at 8 colleges that she didn’t even know about in 9th grade. She is off to a college she loves with a great merit scholarship.
Letting your child have a dream like Havard-Yale-Standford is akin to letting your child have a dream of winning the lottery. Would it be nice if it happened - you bet. Can you count on it? No way.
It will be a WASTE of the high school years to have such a single minded focus.
Instead, let her explore her natural interests as far as she can. Let her develop other skills like independence. Get a job. Become an interesting person. Read widely.
I think you said she is interested in law school. The BEST thing is to NOT be pre-law. Study history, science, literature, anything. that teaches you to think and to analyse will be helpful. There are NO required classes to apply to law school so the world is her oyster. That being the case…there is no need to focus only on highly selective colleges.
If you are part of a community in which the ONLY good colleges are those that everyone can name…it is time to start pushing back on that narrative.
The reason you are getting pushback from other posters is that we KNOW that a kid or parent who has actually sat down with a Fiske Guide would have found MANY other colleges that offered programs that were of interest. The fact that she has chosen three of the most well-known schools in the US indicates that the search was rather limited to begin with.
Best of luck.
Thank you for the wonderful advice CValle. She is also interested in other colleges as well (Emory, John Hopkins, UCLA). But, she likes challenges so Harvard and etc. were what she displayed most interest in. She also plays travel soccer for everyone asking.
@narline1 I am glad you and your D are thinking of college, and I encourage you to include a strong financial foundation. How to finance a college education needs to be discussed with spouse (if not still married, other parent and any step parents) and then presented to D. If there are any in-state scholarship programs, lay them out for her. Merit aid/athletic scholarships can be game changers, so talk with D and give examples from some college websites of how much money colleges can give to applicants with top SAT/ACT and GPA numbers.
Reading in this forum you will discover spouses don’t always agree, and children who don’t know there is a budget can choose a school that is not affordable, which causes frustration for everyone. Now is the time to discuss any financial and non-financial parameters for choosing a college. Some parents want their children to stay in-state, or within a car ride’s distance, for example. Discuss the pros and cons of student loans now, who is responsible for paying off student loans, and if there is a limit to amount of loans taken out for a college education. Telling a 9th grader now gives them time to adjust, and sets a more realistic picture of how college works.
It is great that your D has a goal, and you can support her goal while still laying the groundwork for applying to a wide range of safety, match, and reach schools. Backup plans do not reflect a lack of confidence in your D, they show love and a grounding in the reality of college admissions. Just like having an emergency savings account, you hope you don’t need that backup, but it is reassuring that it is there. You want your D to have great choices come spring of her senior year, and even if she gets admitted to her goal school, it will be a comfort to get to choose among several great options.
Good luck on this journey. I found it to be a great time of bonding with my D; the college visits give you time away together.
The cringe-worthiness of this thread, it is strong.
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Start disabusing your daughter that those colleges are the only ones worth applying to.
Check out “How to be a High School Superstar” by Cal Newport.
“The basic message of the book is this: Don’t wear yourself out taking as many classes as you can and being involved in every club and sport. Instead, leave yourself enough free time to explore your interests. Cultivate one interest and make it into something special that will make you stand out among the other applicants and get you into the toughest schools, even if your grades and scores aren’t stellar. Newport calls this the “relaxed superstar approach,” and he shows you how to really do this, breaking the process down into three principles, explained and illustrated with real life examples of students who got into top schools: (1) underscheduling—making sure you have copious amounts of free time to pursue interesting things, (2) focusing on one or two pursuits instead of trying to be a “jack of all trades,” and (3) innovation—developing an interesting and important activity or project in your area of interest. This fruit yielded by this strategy, an interesting life and real, meaningful achievements, is sure to help not only with college admissions, but getting a job, starting a business, or whatever your goals.”
http://www.examiner.com/review/be-a-relaxed-high-school-superstar
Philosophy, history, and classics are great majors leading in to law school. Majors that require voluminous reading help build the habits needed to succeed in law school. On the other hand, STEM degrees can prepare a student for specialized legal careers such as patent law.
Extracurriculars such as forensics, model UN, mock trial help build skills valuable for any student.
Challenge can be found in many places. My D was told so often she could go to a “better” college than the one she chose. Instead she went to the school she fell in love with after visiting junior year (had never heard of it before), graduated with a double major and a minor in 4 years, had extensive experience abroad, and received several research grants funding her summer opportunities. She was in an active Honors program, graduated with highest honors, is Phi Beta Kappa, and had numerous fully funded offers to grad school.
I encouraged her to look broadly rather than narrowly, participate in sports for fun rather than for scholarships, and take classes like art even though she wouldn’t get a GPA boost. She started a Model UN group at her college and attended a conference at the UN. She developed a love of museums and old movies. All of these have helped contribute to making her an absolutely amazing individual, and lead her down an educational path she never would have imagined for herself in high school.
OP - The acceptance rate at JHU is under 9%, it’s also a high reach school. UCLA for out of state residents would also be a reach.
I agree with the other posters to let your daughter follow her passions and to have fun. Even if she did absolutely everything perfect, there is still over a 90% chance she’ll be rejected from those schools. Don’t set her up for unnecessary disappointment.
If you want her to have a hook - as from being a top athlete that was previously mentioned, winning an international award could give that to her. As much of a long shot as Harvard acceptance.
High school is stressful enough for kids without having this additional, and unnecessary, college pressure.
hi @narline1 I will bite. I was a girl that knew what she wanted in eighth grade. before that actually. it was veterinary medicine. I planned, studied, got into “the best” school for it (learned what people thought was “the best” by talking about this goal repeatedly throughout junior and senior high). About three months after I arrived at this school, I changed my mind. It’s ok, though, having the goal helped me focus and gave me something to take pride in during high school. If your daughter has law as a goal, it’s possible she will take it all the way. or that she will change her mind.
I think you have already helped her do something great, which is get into the private high school. At this point, I would let the high school do the college planning work for her…that is what you get with the price of admission (whether paying tuition or having competed for the scholarship). My primary advice for you would be to encourage her to compete in some way to the point of failure. I did not have that opportunity and I had to learn resilience after high school. It might be soccer, it might be a language she hates taking, I am not sure…but when you have the opportunity to watch her push through it, let her. Good luck to you both!
First, this is a reasonable question and one many of us asked at the beginning of our family’s journey. The fact that it was somewhat clumsily asked is understandable, and the harsh responses again indicative of the fact that on CC naïveté is a crime.
@narline1 I would start by reading a great deal on this free website. Pay particular attention to results threads, and extra attention to the many outstanding, kids-can’t-have-better-stats-but-were rejected ones. Don’t ask another question until you are informed by those. But also don’t become too frightened of them.
Then look at your school’s naviance, and see how many kids from your HS get into those schools each year. While not a guarantee this will give you your best look at actual chances. Preview: you will be shocked.
Then read a few books on the subject of admissions. I made it a point to read them all 
but after a few they get repetitive. Michelle Hernandez’ book is the most famous but I like the one by Chuck Hughes also.
The most important thing for you to learn here – and what the responses above are trying to stress to you – is that fixation of HYPSM or bust is a recipe for heartbreak. There are lots of amazing colleges and programs and for many kids they are better choices. Since you have so much time, research and fall in love with some LACs and some Honors Colleges. If that happens, and your kid is a true top performer, you are pretty much guaranteed success and happiness.
OP. I’m impressed your 9th grader has identified where she wants to go. Aim high right, why not? A big part of your job now is to help her develop a realistic set of colleges and universities to aim for, the matches, the reaches (she has those covered, Harvard, Stanford and Yale are a reach for everybody) and the safeties.
I honestly don’t think there is any sure fire way to make yourself a standout candidate for the three schools you mentioned as there is no typical student for these schools.
Let her follow her interests (Mock trial would be an obvious one if she’s interested in law) through high school rather than trying to find a box that she should tick. I’m not sure it works that way. In fact, I’m sure it doesn’t. Look how many perfect SAT/GPA amazing ECs kids don’t get into these schools.
Also, don’t assume because she thinks these schools are her dream schools now that they will necessarily be a good fit for her when she reaches 18, or that she will still want to study law.
I don’t think there’s a given path to law school, like a pre-law course is there? History, Poly-Sci and Economics seem popular degrees among Law School students so ask her if she’s looked at schools such as Bowdoin, Vanderbilt, Georgetown and what she thinks of those.
Also I think places like Fordham Law offer great opportunities for those looking to break into the field. New York definitely opens doors.
Encourage her to aim high (really high) but emphasize there’s more than one route to her ultimate goal.
@narline1, I’d like to apologize for my sarcasm and rudeness in my comment. Your post touched a nerve with some as the idea of helping an 8th grade student develop her ‘spike’ and consciously map out her high school years to mazimize chances for specific schools is antithetical to the type of student who embodies the qualities desired by schools like the ones you mention. The students I know accepted of late to these colleges (that do not have hooks) have such depth and strength in their talent, as well as the grades and stats needed. And I know many more students who have such depth and strength that were not accepted.
You have to understand that many people on these boards are fresh in the aftermath of having gone through the college process with extremely bright, extremely talented kids, or know of these tops students who were met with rejection after rejection of their reach colleges. This past college season was brutal for many high stats, high caliber kids- kids that naturally followed their interests and passions and dove deep. I know several of these kids so remarkably talented, so incredibly bright and so very devastated by the process.
I would encourage your daughter to focus on her learning and following her passions to a deeper level. If she is a writer, write. She can blog or submit her writing for publication. READ. Read a variety of genres. The best writers are prolific readers. If she wishes to volunteer do so. But don’t do so just because she thinks she needs to to look good for colleges. Do so because it is the what she believes is the right thing to do. She is much more likely to take that activity to a deeper level as well if she is passionate about the cause. My advice is to encourage her develop her talent and interests, not because she wants to get into a school that most talented and qualified students will find they are rejected, but because that is what curious, bright and motivated students do. She needs to determine how to do that.
And as a former attorney I will tell you there is no need to follow a pre-law track. Some excellent attorneys studied science in college. What is it about law that interests her? Is it human rights? Racial inequality in criminal justice? Immigration? Find her interests and follow those.
“If she wishes to volunteer do so. But don’t do so just because she thinks she needs to to look good for colleges. Do so because it is the what she believes is the right thing to do. She is much more likely to take that activity to a deeper level as well if she is passionate about the cause. My advice is to encourage her develop her talent and interests, not because she wants to get into a school that most talented and qualified students will find they are rejected, but because that is what curious, bright and motivated students do.”
Beautiful advise.
There is no magic formula to ‘make’ someone highly competitive for the top schools. Sports work, having a father who is president works (recent admits to Harvard, Stanford, Yale, Georgetown Law), a Nobel prize helps.
Having all A’s and a perfect test score no longer does it. The student can try to develop a hook through ECs like sports, science prizes, honors, music, but there is no guarantee. In my area, the big prize is always Stanford. I’ve not heard of anyone getting in except through sports, and there have been a lot of those (golf, lacrosse, football, swimming). I’m sure there have been others admitted, but sports is the most common hook. A friend’s daughter tried the ‘regular’ way, applying ED and concentrating on academics and MUN, but she didn’t win that lottery. Got into other really fine schools, but she wanted Stanford and was crushed when it didn’t happen. Another student wanted MIT. Nope. They were miserable. I think if they would have had a realistic view of how hard those schools are to get into, they may have had an easier time accepting UCLA, or Duke, or the flagship.
I recall chatting with a family of a young lady who was “sure” of where she wanted to attend college when she was in 8th grade. I smiled and said “she’ll probably change her mind”. She did. Even juniors and seniors change their minds, even after they’ve submitted applications. And then there are those with “buyer’s remorse” who question their decision. It’s nice that she is thinking about college. But the goal at this point should be to pursue what interests her- not what you or she thinks will look good on an application. And who knows what the application process might look like in a few years. Scary to even think about that.
“Having all A’s and a perfect test score no longer does it.”
And add “nonrecruited” athlete to that. Unless the student plays at a competitive level where the school recruits her, athletics aren’t considered any more valuable for admissions than any other EC.
Definitely take a look at the school’s Naviance data. Then be sure to discuss the data with the GC, since it only contains bare bones GPA and test scores, which are only a small part of the admissions process for the top selectives. An example I use is for my sons’ school and Princeton. If you just look at Naviance, you’d assume top students from the school have a good chance at Princeton since Princeton always takes a few each year. But once you do a little more research, you find out that every single one of those admitted to Princeton have had a hook - legacy, nationally ranked athlete, URM. In other words, although the Naviance data makes the school appear to be a reliable feeder to Princeton the reality is without a hook, none of the school’s students are ever admitted.
A friend’s daughter wanted Harvard. She did everything she could to get into Harvard, and she had an older sister helping her prep for it all through high school. She got accepted to Harvard, but she got a bigger award from MIT (this was in the 1990’s, when all aid wasn’t need based). She took the money and is now a very successful medical/pharma developer.
Sometimes reality steps in.
@2mrmagoo, agree with everythung you wrote. But just to clarify, I believe the OP was talking about her daughter participating in a pre-law exploratory program at her new private HIGH SCHOOL (“plans to complete the pre-law program at this new school”), not in college. There are some such programs (one of our public magnet schools have one) that focus on integrating coursework and ECs such as debate, mock trial, model UN, etc. that may help to give secondary students with an inteterest in law and policy some of the flavor. I thiink that’s fairly reasonable.