<p>Sandi,</p>
<p>I’m going to be honest and say that I admire you for taking what I consider to be a very difficult and totally unacceptable circumstance and not wallowing in self pity. You sound strong and like you are going to make it one way or another despite the lack of family support. I admire your attitude and the fact that you have worked hard in high school to keep your GPA up. I suspect you will make the very best of the college opportunities that come your way. And, I hardly think you were lazy for not working constantly during high school . . .there’s so much to do as it is . . .and it’s important to enjoy life too.</p>
<p>I better understand where you are coming from when you see some children here who probably come across as whining even though their parents are giving them some significant support. I’m sure that does seem pretty ungrateful.</p>
<p>That being said, I cannot bring myself to agree with you that your parents are taking the morally correct approach. Yes, it is their money. However, no one made them have four children and having made that decision, I think parents are morally obligated to give their children the tools to succeed in life if they are able - - one of which (nowadays) is college. Sorry, but I think parents should put themselves second to the welfare of their children. Once those opportunities are afforded, some kids will just waste them and others will make the most of them - - and after that, the kids are on their own. However, I just can’t get myself to say that what your parents are doing is correct or reasonable even if it is “their money” and “they don’t want to pay for someone else’s education”. </p>
<p>So we will just have to agree to disagree about the proper role of parents for college-aged children. BUT, I do wish you the very, very best as you strive to reach your personal goals. I can totally tell that you will find a way, and having done it all by yourself, I am sure you will be a lot prouder of yourself and more resilient than my own children will be, at least initially. </p>
<p>I do, however, hope that my children will follow in my foot steps and ultimately pay it forward to their own children someday . . .and not just leave it up to them to handle alone. I personally had very supportive grandparents and to this day I am eternally grateful for the easy debt-free start they gave me in life.</p>