Momofthreeboys said: “I’d suggest he go back and remember why he applied to each one of those colleges and review what that criteria was when he chose them.”
That’s very sound and excellent advice.
Call me a curmudgeon, but I have never understood why someone applies to several colleges, and then can’t make up his or her mind when they are fortunate to have multiple options. Whatever happened to the concept of first choice, second choice, etc…? It’s time for 18-year olds to put on the big boy pantalones and start making decisions!
My son had a similar mix of 6 colleges to which he was admitted. They all met his core criterion: a place where it’s encouraged to be a thinker. But they differed on second-level, but still important criteria. I think for the OP’s son a rating on multiple dimensions could be a helpful device. For my son these included: 2) “major league city,” i.e., major sports!, 3) ability to easily get way off campus on occasion, 4) preppiness (less is better, in terms of the social life on campus). Proximity to home was irrelevant. Costs were irrelevant. On campus/off campus housing availability wasn’t a differentiator.
@LakeWashington we were actually strongly against “first choice second choice” before acceptances were received. Why make yourself disappointed when you don’t get into the school you (perhaps somewhat arbitrarily) designated as your first choice. Better to see what comes in and then evaluate.
I totally understand how you can have trouble deciding.
My older son’s first choice was MIT but he didn’t get in. Of the choices he had it was between Harvard and Carnegie Mellon. CMU had by far the better computer science department, but Harvard is Harvard. And when he went for the admitted students weekend he liked Harvard much better than he’d expected to. He ended up choosing CMU, but he waited to the last possible day to make the decision.
Younger son also had a difficult choice - he had mixed grades and mixed scores and was applying to many colleges that were likely reaches so he tried very hard not to fall in love with anything. He liked his safety very much, he’d never visited Chicago at all. After the acceptances came in he revisited everything and liked different things about Chicago and Tufts. In the end Tufts won for a variety of reasons, but I think he would have enjoyed Chicago just as much. He’s the sort of kid who takes advantage of wherever he ends up.
I think Mathmom’s comment underscores the point that the kids can adjust to the options that they ultimately have, and if they had a good set of alternatives to begin with – ones that met their primary goals – they are likely to have good options in the end. I think my son had 5 very viable alternative choices in the end – yet the choices ranged from huge flagship public universities to tiny liberal arts colleges. He ruled out the 6th, Williams, which he first visited only after he was admitted. But had he chosen to attend any of the five others that accepted him, he’d have done fine. He would almost certainly have followed a different career PATH yet I would say end up in a place that’s similar to where is today, even if he had attended one of the other colleges that accepted him (he attended UChicago). It was his fundamental intellectual interests, his hobbies even, that have shaped his career goals. College enabled him to define and navigate toward his career line in several steps.
My daughter narrowed hers down to 3 that were affordable and would take care of her academic needs. First off she considered the campus and the dorms. She liked one much better than the others. She then thought about the location. She did not like that one was in a smallish town, but she liked the other two cities - both having populations of about 100,000. She thought one campus seemed safer than the others. She really liked that one is known for being a big music school. She doesn’t plan to do anything with music, but she plays piano and has always been in the band. She likes that there will be a lot of musical events on campus. She looked at quality of life issues knowing that academically all of them would get the job done for her.
I can understand how a student might be attracted to all three of them, but they really have completely different vibes, and one of them is bound to be a better fit than the others. Normally, I scoff at people exaggerating the differences between colleges, and say that 95% of the students at one would be perfectly happy at the other. That’s not true with these colleges.
Stereotyping wildly for the purpose of broad-brush impressions:
Hampshire – Noncomformist, hippie, you CAN major in basket-weaving and many do. (You don’t have to major in basket-weaving, of course, and most don’t.) A rural campus, but looks like a 60s office park. Sports: Sports? Don’t they have a lot of rules or something? (Note: Someone asked if the OP’s kid would use the 5-college consortium if he went to Hampshire. You basically don’t have a choice. Hampshire was designed by the other colleges to provide an alternative education model that relies very heavily on course offerings at the other colleges; its own faculty is quite small.)
Northeastern – Scrappy city school, co-op centric, large, competitive, very careerist, everyone focused on getting practical value out of their education. When you are seen as the 5th best college on your subway system, and you cost a lot more than the 6th best, you really have to try harder. Sports: Nice conference championship run got an automatic NCAA tournament bid and an honorable first-round loss to Notre Dame; crew.
Brandeis – mini-Ivy League, intellectual, but with a little chip on the shoulder because many there would have preferred Harvard. (Many at Northeastern would have preferred Harvard, too, if they knew where it was, and if they had applied, but they don’t/didn’t.) Many/most students plan to go to some sort of graduate or professional school. Very defined traditional suburban campus. Sports: MUN.
I’ll add that while I don’t know Northeastern, Carnegie Mellon was also a school where everyone knows what they want to be when the grow up. It’s great if you are as focused as everyone else. Everyone is very smart, but it’s not exactly an intellectual place. If you want to discuss philosophy at 2 am you’d probably prefer Hampshire or Brandeis. I had the sense that Brandeis, like Tufts, is nerdy, but with the nerdiness tending to veer off into political theory rather than either board games and reading (my son’s preference) or discussing philosophy.
But my son would also say, if you go looking for your peeps, you can probably find them anywhere - at least if the school is big enough. (So the size of Hampshire, might be a cause for concern - or it might not be.)
Hi all - thanks for the replies. They are helpful, and it’s really good to know that others have gone through similar choices. I’ll try to answer a few of the questions. Intended major(s): Strong interest and ability in math, but here’s where the dilemma continues - is it computer science/math or math/music? One points more to NE with Brandeis a close second. The other says Brandeis/Hampshire. He is currently doing an independent senior project where he is developing computer code to transcribe sheet music from sound files. (I think that points to any of the schools).
Yes, if he went to Hampshire, he would take advantage of 5 college consortium courses. Note that Hampshire has made it a point to reach out to him about the feasibility of studying math there - they had one of the math professors phone him to talk about his interests.
In many ways, I think that Hampshire fits his personality the best. He is very much a self starter who loves to dive deeply into things that interest him - I wouldn’t worry about him turning to basket weaving. He would make good use of the academic freedom there. The biggest drawback to Hampshire (in his mind) is the location. He’d prefer to be closer to Boston or another good sized city.
He has an overnight visit planned at Hampshire, is meeting with one of the deans at NE and has made contact with a current student in his proposed program (College of Computer and Information Science). He plans to arrange an overnight visit at Brandeis if possible - he just got that acceptance last week - but has visited the campus a couple of times.
He is also a swimmer (Div 3 - so not good enough for NE and Hampshire has no team), and is heavily involved in theatre.
One plus for northeastern for a kid who is torn between two things is that he can use co-ops to help decide his direction. Take math with minors in computer science or music (or some combo of these three things) and then get co-ops in these different areas and see which he likes better (he gets to take up to three co-ops). My daughter at Northeastern has many friends in the computer science school but all are leaning in different directions (and their co-ops have helped decide this) - from math with comp sci to engineering with comp sci to game design with comp sci, to bio with comp sci, to business with comp sci, etc. They have co-oped at a wide range of places - intel, paypal, start-ups, roomba, etc. and this has helped them decide what they want to do.
Vibe at NEU is very practical - the kids my daughter knows are very down-to-earth and unpretentious.
"what’s the point of “priority sequence” if you get a point for each “hit” regardless? The whole issue of decision-making is that not all criteria are created equal, thus the dilemma. "
-This is NOT a dilemma but a perfect solution. Say, location is criteria #1, and the highest “weight” is 8 points. So, the best location gets 8 points, the next best gets 6, the next one gets 4 points for location. Say, certain sport is criteria #2. Then the highest in sport gets 6, the next get 4, next gets 2 points for sport. You should have your criteria in a priority sequence vertically and colleges horizontally and then assign the points and total them for each college at the bottom, clear cut system, no confusion. However, if there is a clear choice without this exercise, go for it. If not, use this decision table or any other technique that out there (just google), whichever suits you the best. The simpler way is to choose 2 finalists and flip the coin, but it will not work for 3 colleges, there are only 2 sides of the coin.
I’ve never understood how people do this. I think they determine the weight based on how they want it to come out. I certainly would have no idea whether location should be more important than food or a particular sport versus a particular music opportunity or a particular famous professor vs another famous professor. I think ultimately it’s your gut - either your gut makes the weighting system or your gut does it in a less systematic way.
What you could do is put everything in a spread sheet and try changing out the ratings and see what makes a difference and whether you feel good or bad about what is coming out on top.
"would have no idea whether location should be more important than food or a particular sport versus a particular music opportunity or a particular famous professor vs another famous professor. "
-if YOU do not know what is most important to YOU, then the only way is to flip the coin. Most HS seniors though have an idea what criteria is #1, which one is #2, and which is #3. For some prestige might be #1, for others, presitge will not make it to the criteria list at all. Some are after availability of certain program, others have no idea about their major at all. Everybody’s list is different and points assign to each are different. My D. had no problem with her criteria at 16, which, of course was different from the next kid.
One thing you should NOT do is to monkey with your data to achieve a certain result. This will be counterproductive. On the other had, “gut feelings” might be one of your criteria, I do not see why not consider it. D. liked a “pretty campus”, made her feel good, of course she considered it.
I would suggest that everybody who has multiple acceptances has some way of prioritizing among the different factors. Sometimes it’s financial aid – or cost. Sometimes it’s the programs (majors) available. Sometimes it’s location. Sometimes it’s atmospherics on campus, or other college characteristics (e.g., size). But the applicants (and families) can’t decide totally in advance of making applications, since they usually do not know whether they’ll be admitted.
So whether you use a spreadsheet and weight the criteria or not, you will go through this process if you have multiple acceptances.
To me, the most important part of the college admissions process was identifying a set of decent choices along the range of degree-of-difficulty of admission (reach, match, automatic admit). I never doubted that my son would have good choices: college where it’s encouraged to be a thinker (dozens of places and programs fit this). As I’ve reported here before, once he visited UChicago after admission his final decision was easy, “This will do,” he told us. Decision was final. He never visited a couple of the places to which he was admitted. I was much less certain about my daughter, since she had a sharp focus based on two criteria: (a) excellent art school, (b) in a “real city.” And if she hadn’t met those criteria, perhaps because her portfolio wasn’t adequate, she would wait out a year at a CC and apply again. That was her idea; it scared the hell out of us, her parents. But she was admitted to all the colleges to which she applied (attended RISD).
Bookmarking this thread because though D’s final options aren’t all in, her current two favorites are NEU and a LAC in the 5 college consortium too. Mom likes the LAC, but mom isn’t making the call. And money is a factor and we don’t have all that info yet.
When I told D’s guidance counselor what her two current favorites are, she also thought they were an odd pair, so different. But each was chosen for certain reasons.
If I had to guess, I’d say she won’t press the button until just before midnight on April 30th.
My daughters final two choices were a very large southern flagship university…more than 25,000 students…and a college with 4200 undergrads on the opposite coast. Bot had appeal for different reasons…and really, either would have been a good choice for her.
Oh goodness. Go to each school and hang out. Sneak in some classes. Eat the food and talk to the the people at the next table over. People watch. Don’t deal with the admissions people at all–their voices will drown out what his gut is telling him. Every school will give him a bed and a place to shower. Every school will have professors he likes and some he won’t. Spend a little time like this, no charts, no criteria, just plain old existing in a space with its own culture. You’d be surprised the things that get to you–the sound of traffic, the crowds, the peaceful birds chirping. Crowded or barren walkways. Once he sees it and feels it, he will know.
My assumtion was that everything that is suggested in post #37 has been done at this point. There is no way to decide, if a kid did not spend considerable time chicking out each school very closely and this involve multipe visits, stays for few days, even spending time with the potential sport team, seat thru their practice (if such thing exists). If these are not done by now, then criteria is only based on the outside factors and decision potentially can backfire. One need to know how it feels to live a place fro couple of days, in a place where they will live for 4 most important years of their lives. You need to make sure that you will not feel miserable there and many do, I heard many stories of transferring, and in most times they were not connected to academics at certain place. Transfer was based on inability to live there either becuase student was surrounded with people who are very different or some other factors that prevented them to focus on academics (as superior as it may be at the place)