<p>Sorry Ford, I can't go back and edit it. By all means, talk to your friend if you think she has a serious problem...</p>
<p>There is no harm in talking and letting her know how you feel. It shows that you care about her, which is something she should appreciate. </p>
<p>I just don't think the problem is as serious as some on here have made it out to be.</p>
<p>Like someone else said earlier, i guess the best way is to leave her in her mess and let her learn from her own mistakes.</p>
<p>The more you'll try to dissuade her of drinking, the more you two will separate.</p>
<p>If she's too stuborn and immature to realise that she's got a real problem, then ****, why bother, just leave her in her crap and wait till she comes back to you.</p>
<p>You seem overly judgmental to me. Although I may be biased, it seems to me that the people who don't drink at all (for moral reasons or otherwise) are always the first to say that people get lost in drinking or do it too much. </p>
<p>Your friend may be enjoying her newfound freedom of college a little too much, but I'd hardly say she is an alcoholic. She has never actually BEEN hospitalized for her drinking has she? She sounds like 50% of the people in my school. You may not agree with how she spends her weekend, but I really think that you are making this out to be more than it is. Sure, tell her how you feel, and that you're afraid of her harming herself, but make sure to come off as nonjudgmental and pushy as possible.</p>
<p>Maybe you two aren't meant to be friends anyway....</p>
<p>she has a drinking problem. if a person gets drunk 2 times a week, that is a problem, whether she or anyone wants to admit it or not</p>
<p>We had a poster here last year who was just like some of the posters here, he could handle it, he didn't have a problem, getting drunk everytime he drank, eh, no biggie</p>
<p>he is DEAD from an alcohol overdose....in a very well publicized case</p>
<p>so those that say to do nothing, grow up....your immaturity reeks of not caring about anyone but yourselves</p>
<p>to the OP, absoluitey say something.. if you don't and something really bad happens, you will feel worse</p>
<p>my D had a friend who was overdoing it as well, my D spoke to her friend and yes, the friendship was strained, but it had been anyway- drugs and alcohol got in the way - </p>
<p>what is wrong with being judgemental to a person who drinks so much people are about to take her to the ER!! </p>
<p>a few years ago, on St Patricks Day, my H saw this teen girl laying on the sidewalk, passed out...her "friends" all guys were loaded and jsut standing there, leaning against the wall. It was 10 at night. My H called 9-11 and made sure those boys (he would never call them men, no matter how old they were) did not leave until the cops came. He also chewed them out for letting their friend, in a very short mini skirt, lie in the dirt like that. THey said, well, she's okay, and they were drunk as well. They tried to leave her like that. Totally vulnerable. Imagine if they had staggered home and left her there. Which was their plan. </p>
<p>She was taken away in an ambulance, the jerks were taken home by the cops and written up. Not sure the rest of the consequences, but my H filed a complaint.</p>
<p>It was damn scary. So girls, don't count on your drunk guy friends to always have your back. </p>
<p>Again, OP say something.</p>
<p>And to those that think they can handle it. think again.</p>
<p>I will look for the CC posters words, and they sound exactly like what some here have said, and if your friends think you have a problem, you probably do</p>
<p>denial can mean death</p>
<p>if a person gets drunk 2 times a week, that is a problem</p>
<p>thats unfair. plenty of my friends (during the holidays anyway) go out friday and saturday and get drunk, i dont think any of them have problems. one girl i know goes out every single friday and gets drunk, but she's got straight As and has never been in a compromising position, partly because she goes out with her female friends, partly because none of her guy friends (including me) would leave her passed out on the road and admittedly, partly because we live in a very safe environment.</p>
<p>drinking problems are only really problems in certain environments.</p>
<p>we are talking drunk to the point of people being scared for you</p>
<p>and it is a problem</p>
<p>and she is lucky she has never been in a compromising position</p>
<p>nice who you feel the need to defend drunk girls, just look at girls gone wild, the recent Miss Nevada who had to give up her crown, etc</p>
<p>I don't care if people drink, BUT, to assume its okay to get drunk several times a week, well, you need to grow up</p>
<p>I can almost guarantee that if you all continue like this, one of your friends will get hurt, date raped, or worse...statistically it will happen, and does</p>
<p>and as for having class, sorry, but a bunch of drunk girls is about as tacky as you can get</p>
<p>Statistics cannot be used to judge a person...</p>
<p>I don't know about the OP's situation, but I have never left a party without thinking about my friends. I always make sure that my friends are either with someone they and I trust, or we leave together. </p>
<p>As far as my roomate, he doesn't socialize much and thefore seems to be almost intimidated/jealous. This is coming from one of my best friend's, and she herself has never touched alcohol at college. </p>
<p>I think it's ridiculous to compare us to a group of guys who would leave one of their "friends" on the side of the street. I also think its unfair to compare us to the CC poster who passed away last year. While that was very sad, he also had a more serious problem then he led us to believe. I would hope that I would not be judged on the basis of someone else's character.</p>
<p>I agree with you that the OP should tell his friend if he thinks she has a problem. </p>
<p>But to me, this sounds like college. She has a partying problem, which many college kids have.</p>
<p>^That's true, it could be. But extreme cases happen. If the OP feels his friend is in with the wrong crowd and most especially not herself lately, then he should bring it up just as a good friend, not to be judgemental.</p>
<p>I had a really good friend (in HS) get involved with a different crowd. I chalked it up to "normal" teenage stuff, partying, wanting to fit in, whatever. Well, the next thing I know I was in a hospital waiting room and they're saying she almost died. Yes, her "friends" left her - and they're not bad people, it's just they were drunk and high, too. Stuff like this does happen, so it's good the OP is keeping an eye out even if it's probably not a big deal.</p>
<p>its different for me, i live in (statistically) the safest city in the world. i guess things will change for all of us when we go to college.</p>
<p>Yeah, it sucks when people get sucked into the black hole of drinking/smoking. I used to smoke, but I saw where I was going, and cleaned up my act. I now drink and party, but I never drink and drive, and all of my friends either a) do it too like me (not TOO much though), or b) have known me long enough to know that the drinking side of me is just me, and that it's not like I'll change. If you really don't want to drink, then you can try to recruit her, but if you've never drank, you don't really have too convicing of a saga to tell, or too good of an argument for her to stop. I have seen what smoking is like, and what drinking is like, and I have made my decision. I run often and am in shape, my grades are fine, etc. I dont care about drinking (driving while doing it is stupid though, as everyone knows). Smoking is another personal choice--I just don't want to smoke when I get older, and you have to stop sometime, so I stopped. For those who don't care, and that do fine while smoking weed, then it's their choice, and Ill never tell someone they shouldn't, because I once did. It's just a decision, and I don't really like it when I see people talking others out of it, because its just a decision they'll have to make. She wants to drink, let her drink (although she seems kinda stupid about it, what you CAN do is convince her to be rational), otherwise, sorry about the loss.</p>
<p>I went through a similar sort of situation with one of my friends. Her parents were always kinda strict in high school and she never really went out much and seemed to want to be the good little daughter all the time, so if I ever thought about what she would do in college I guess I kind of assumed she wouldn't go too crazy. I don't drink at all, personally.</p>
<p>Turns out she did the quite the opposite, and before long I pretty much never saw her because her only free time was weekends, and her Fridays were given up to being in various states of drunkenness, her Saturdays mostly to sleeping until the afternoon to recover from the previous night and then going out again, and Sundays to doing all the missed homework. Whenever I did see her it was only for a few hours before she ditched me for some activity where she would be able to drink. And it wasn't even parties all the time, necessarily, just stuff like oh we're going to have a movie night but we're also going to drink lots because you can't have fun without being drunk! I don't even talk to her anymore, at this point. You're probably going to have to find new friends that like to spend their leisure time the same way you do, at least until this one grows out of it.</p>
<p>OP: I think your problem is that you have romantic feelings for this girl. In that case I think you are attaching your time and affections for someone who you are obviously not attracted to on the inside (but only on the outside-- let me guess, she is probably very pretty). You've got to let go, then, since she is apparently not your type (anymore).</p>
<p>^I think that's an unfair assessment. </p>
<p>Update: by the way, the friend I mentioned as an example of how my friends and I dealt with the situation is currently saying she is done with drinking completely. We had approached her in early November, and since then she had only drank with us so we could keep her from getting too drunk. On New Year's Eve she got too drunk and broke down crying...we talked the next day and she said she's done. I'm currently pondering how I'm going to handle it...since because my other friends and I will probably continue to drink, I'm concerned with how that will affect her. Throw in the fact that we've become involved romantically (wow that sounds so formal) since Decemberish, and yeah, I've got some choices to make. I think I'm willing to stop drinking, or at least never drink around her, if it'll help her keep up with her resolution, but we'll see--we move back to college next week.</p>
<p>I think she's trying to fit in with a college crowd even if they aren't any older or smarter than her. You sound a bit fussy (drinking in college is kinda par for the course, isn't it?) but you also seem like the kind of friend she will need should something serious happen. I can't give you any advice because I don't know the entire situation; I can only give you options. The best option I think you have is to let her go do her thing, man. I'm not saying write her off, but you really don't owe it to her to waste your time worrying about her while she's drinking and partying and having a good time. Bring her recent attitude shift to her attention if you two are close, but don't take it much farther than that. She'll come around...one way or another.</p>
<p>you only live once just let her be</p>
<p>Dude, fordgt, this is really off-topic, but do you have xbox live or something? For some reason your CC name rings a bell...not because of the car, but I have definitely seen or read or known someone with the alias fordGT somewhere!</p>
<p>^ No this is just my cc name. that's it</p>
<p>UPDATE: So she went out partying as usual expecting to have fun, and she went out to buy some alcohol illegally, drank it with some friends, went to a party drunk, and hooked up with some random guy. She said she had a really good time through all of it, and she says she wants to do all of it again.</p>
<p>Does she voluntarily tell you about this?</p>
<p>do you like her?</p>
<p>^ I did at one point. I don't think I still like her.</p>