<p>It looks like your son has a backbone. I would be proud. IF he doesn’t get into a ‘top’ school, move on. He gave it HIS best shot.</p>
<p>Okay, none of you are like me, I guess. I can hardly breathe over this whole process! I don’t think this college application business is fun or exciting or anything else positive. It all seems like a crap shoot to me and I think I might need some valium! </p>
<p>I look at these kids and feel nothing but sorry for them. DS starts class at 6:30 am and has 5 AP classes plus goes to college at night. He works so darn hard, mostly because he knows that even though we saved for college, there isn’t enough money so he has to get into a good school to even be able to go. I guess that is why I am so on edge and every single thing seems so magnified in this process.</p>
<p>He has 4 schools that have deadlines before the first ED comes out Dec 15 so those will go with the “mistake” but if he gets rejected, maybe he will give it some thought and rework his essay. </p>
<p>I did let some things slide, perhaps bigger, worse things so I just have to get over the darn essay. He attached an ENTIRE essay in the additional info section and we argued about that too because I read here that was NOT allowed. He really had some important information he wanted to add that didn’t fit anywhere else but I thought he should just skip it. </p>
<p>And, his math teacher still has not uploaded his recommendation that is due in TWO days so I guess I am just on the verge of getting an ulcer-lol!</p>
<p>He wrote the essay in his voice. Has it ever occurred to you that an admissions committee may want to hear his voice? Your son’s academic record attests to the fact that he understands how to correctly construct an essay according to the rules. His essay with fragments portrays a person who is not constrained by what others expect of him. Perhaps you should think consider why you think acceptance at a school that would deny admission based on two fragments in an essay is desirable. There are many issues that may cause a parent to lose sleep. This is not one of them.</p>
<p>Without seeing the actual essay it’s hard to know, but given that the fragments are set apart from the paragraphs, I think it’s pretty clear that your son knows they are fragments and did this deliberately for artistic effect. You don’t think it’s effective his English teacher does. I don’t know if you are grammar Nazis or if you are right that it doesn’t work. Maybe you get a fifth opinion. However, given that it’s been turned in I’d just let it go.</p>
<p>My older son started his main essay with a paragraph created by a computer program which made no sense at all. The first sentence he wrote on his own was. “Or maybe not.” (I’m pretty sure that’s a sentence fragment.) He got into Harvard and Carnegie Mellon and was rejected by MIT, and Stanford. Did his somewhat risky essay help or hurt? Who knows.</p>
<p>As for the extra essay. That won’t hurt him. Stanford won’t read it, most other colleges will read every word. I don’t think it will hurt him at all.</p>
<p>Have you jumped the shark…“mostly because he knows that even though we saved for college, there isn’t enough money so he has to get into a good school to even be able to go.” ???</p>
<p>He can get full-tuition at Alabama. Leaving you with only room and board. Is that affordable?</p>
<p>OP, on this we can agree – you may need a Valium. ;)</p>
<p>Seriously, if you are this angsty about it THAT is what’s going to be conveyed to your ds. You need to be supportive and realistically optimistic at this time, which is difficult for him, too. I hear in your last post that your real concern is money and that’s what’s driving the issues with the essay. Believe me – I can relate. But recognize that, own it and then try to be more big-picture and don’t sweat the small stuff. Because, really, two sentence fragments is small stuff. I agree with what others have said about the fact that he’s accomplished so much in the area of English shows his mastery. And the fact that he’s done two sentence fragments shows that it’s intentional. I think the adcoms will get it.</p>
<p>(((Hugs)))</p>
<p>Look, from all you’ve said about your son, he’s an amazing, driven student with great grades, great test scores, and he’s done it all without your help. He’s targeted schools which will make your financial burden easier because he respects what you’ve done for him and isn’t whining that you can’t do it all. I’d be over the moon to have such a great kid! Any college is likely to see his strengths, whether or not his essay has an “A” from mom and dad.</p>
<p>You need to take a step back, have a drink or a pill and let it go.</p>
<p>When your son goes to college, he will be turning in a lot of essays without you reading them line by line. Let it go.</p>
<p>My husband hated S’s essay and rewrote the entire thing. H is a retired college English teacher who wrote a textbook that had six editions. He also has edited several books and numerous papers. Son read the corrections, thanked his dad, and submitted his own work. He was accepted (with merit money at two) at 3 schools, wait listed at Middlebury, and rejected at Dartmouth. His acceptance letter at the school that he chose commented on his essay. </p>
<p>I was proud of my son for staying true to himself. Ok, I will admit that I was more than a little nervous that his dad might be right but it worked out the way that it was meant to be.</p>
<p>I just have to say THANK YOU for all of your replies. I’m so glad I asked because all the posts have helped me put things in perspective and I really appreciate you taking the time to write. I’m just going to let this go. He has done everything right, on his own, up to this point and I am proud of his efforts.</p>
<p>Are things ever beyond the kid’s ability though? I don’t know what to tell him about the recommendation or if I should step in at this point since it’s due in TWO days. Last night, I asked him if he wanted ME to email his math teacher to resolve the recommendation issue.</p>
<p>He asked the teacher in August and he said he was happy to do it. He sent the first email through the common app on 9/9 and waited. He resent it again on 10/15 and talked to the teacher several times. The teacher said it was done so he emailed common app who said it was NOT started and the teacher should contact them directly if he was having trouble uploading it. My son went to him again last Monday and the teacher said, “Oops, I forgot but will do it right away.” He still hasn’t done it! I know the teacher loves my son and is happy to write the recommendation. DS had him two years, for AP Calc and for Honors Alg 2, and they know each other very well but now that the app is submitted, DS can’t even change to another math/science teacher. What happens if he doesn’t get his recommendation in? I guess this is a much bigger “OMG” than a sentence fragment, isn’t it? Any suggestions for this one?</p>
<p>Yes, this is more worrisome than the sentence fragment. What did your ds say when you asked if he wanted you to email the teacher?</p>
<p>Does he have a good relationship with the GC? Could he/she provide him guidance? Maybe the GC knows that this guy is always last minute with his stuff. </p>
<p>Also, most schools won’t hold it against a kid if someone else’s stuff is late.</p>
<p>Talk to the counselor. Are you sure someone else can’t upload a recommendation while this one is pending?</p>
<p>He should keep nagging his teacher, but you really don’t need to worry. The student part needs to be in by deadline, the teachers get a little leeway. One of my older son’s recommendations went missing at a couple of schools and they assured us it was no big deal. At this point they are assembling folders. It takes them weeks to read even the EA applicaitons.</p>
<p>But, yes, for sure, the recommendation SNAFU is the place to assert your parental nagging rights and to meddle. Leave the essay alone, now and henceforward.</p>
<p>What mathmom said. My older D had a recommendation that wasn’t sent on time, despite several reminders from her. She asked the college and they said it was a common problem (and also common for them to get lost) and that it would be fine. It was. But he should keep after his teacher-as long as you both realize his application won’t be tossed out if it’s late.</p>
<p>“OH MY GOD!” yet again. This time, over a recommendation letter nearing its deadline. I understand and agree that the teacher is cutting it too close. I also agree it’s possible it may not come in time.
However, I’m sure as the caring parents you are, that you made student aware some time ago that sometimes this happens, and to be sure to get “back-up” letters just in case. Student may or may not have taken your advice. If he did, be prepared to use the back-up, if not, well, then he gets a life lesson that isn’t earth-shattering. He learns not all people can be counted on to meet deadlines and to be prepared with a “Plan B” just in case. It is good for a person to learn this early, so he isn’t caught off-guard by such a thing as an adult.
Since you have asked opinions, I recommend you calm down and think about all you have helped him with while he was growing up,the good you’ve done, the good start he has, the opportunities you have helped bring about, and accept that not all lessons are learned the easy way. Also, since you are calling on your God repeatedly, I suggest you seek the advice/help of your clergy to help you adjust to loosening the grip on a young person soon to be an adult.</p>
<p>Lastly, I don’t know what this means: “he knows that even though we saved for college, there isn’t enough money so he has to get into a good school to even be able to go.” You’re saying you can’t financially afford for him to go to an average school? Are you saying he is only able to go if he gets in a “good school” because you’re short on money?</p>
<p>Colleges give some buffer in regards to receiving Teacher LORs on time. I called up a couple universities with EA deadlines and was told that they do not penalize as long as the common app, transcript, and test scores are in by deadlines. They knew fully well that teacher LORs are beyond student’s control at times.</p>
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<p>If he is rejected, it won’t be because of a sentence fragment. I have spoken with many admissions offers following waitlist and denial decisions. I have never, ever heard anyone say that a student was denied due to a grammatical error in their essay.</p>
<p>If THIS is what you’re losing sleep over as a parent, I’d count your lucky stars and move on.</p>
<p>The application due date is the date when the student needs to make sure that their part of the application is submitted. They will extend a little time and give a professional courtesy to submit information. I have faxed recommendations, emailed recommendations, sent them in snail mail. If there is a problem, have student contact GC and GC will contact the teacher and the school.</p>
<p>Given the number of students who are affected by the hurricane on the east coast (NYC schools are closed at least until wednesday)and now snow in sections of the midwest, many colleges have extended their ED/EA deadlines.</p>