So I am a student in college. I am in my first semester and its not going well (close to academic probation). I decided that pre med and engineering is not for me. However, my parents are only willing to support me if I do pre med or engineering. They may even refuse to pay for college. Not sure what to do with right now. Should I just continue with college or just drop out?
I assume you are having trouble with eng classes are you are not doing pre med classes yet? What exactly is the problem? What is your course load and what were your HS stats?
Have you spoken to your academic advisor or someone in the student counseling center about your situation?
I made the mistake of simply taking way too many hard classes for my first semester. I took computer science, then dropped it (requirement for engineering). I am taking calculus and physics along with a required elective.
This is your first semester. You have time to fix this, and to convince your parents that a college degree in something other than engineering is better than dropping out.
Go to every single office hour of every single professor. Find a tutor to help you pass these classes. Don’t let yourself fall further behind. Sometimes asking for help is enough to tip you into the passing zone. Don’t give up.
I’d do the best you can to pass the classes you’ve got right now. Why don’t you take a couple of the pre-med prerequisite next semester, and a couple courses that are easier/maybe an area you are interest in. Here is my logic:
- Pre med can be any major. An engineering/premed combo is deadly difficult. You could still find you like it as you go a little further in the pre-reqs, and your GPA could recover.
- It puts off the conversation with your parents a bit. If you don't do well next semester, it will be clearer that premed isn't going to happen. I know what your parents threatened -- but when the chips are down and and there is no path forward in the majors they like, they may relent.
As stated, you need to pass classes this semester. You also need to figure out if you actually like any STEM areas (one does not need to like all of them for a major in one of them or for premed purposes). You probably worked hard in HS and may/may not have those as your favorites despite any top grades.
Based on your interests and abilities craft a second semester. Include classes for a nonparent approved major that interests you. Be aware that doing poorly in most STEM classes makes it harder to do well in the next one- they often build on past knowledge. You do not need to tell your parents details and they should not have access to your college profile (if you gave permission in the past revoke it).
Ditto- premed can be any major, it is an intention. You also need breadth courses to graduate from college. You may want to concentrate on those nonscience courses needed which also may be a major for you.
Sometimes ignoring your parents and not letting them know details is a good way to survive and move forward in what is best for YOU.
H and I are physicians (he’s from India, me the US). We used to tell people our son was too smart (he is gifted) to become a physician. His interests happened to be science and math (NOT engineering, btw) but any major that he wanted would have been fine. Your parents need time to adjust to the wide realm of possibilities for you and not think in the small medicine/engineering box. You need to survive this semester then be sneaky and just register for classes that appeal to you. They will be appropriate for premed, btw. College is the time to take all sorts courses you won’t be able to later- art history, symphony and a whole host of others are in my chemistry major college background.
You also need to spend time in the career counseling section of student services. There are interest and aptitude tests available to help students figure out which fields they are likely a good fit in. Friends and I did this as college sophomores, kept our major.
At some point your parents need to be educated about how college is so much more than the two fields they are focused on. Many good areas for many interests.
Go to every office hours with questions on what you didn’t understand well (p sets and solutions you can’t figure out, etc), make sure to get an A in the Gen Ed class to help your GPA. Stick with “premed” since you can “be premed” with any major so that buys you time. Next semester take Statistics, Chemistry 1, Psychology, and an easy gen ED. That keeps you on track for premed pre-reqs as well as many majors.
50% of eng kids will change, but even well prepared kids wobble, again what were your HS stats? Did you have calc and physics at school? ACT/SAT/SAT2s. ?
Do you best to get through this semester. I agree go to study groups and office available to you that can help. Does your college require gen-eds? If so make sure they are on your spring courseload to give you a breather while you decide if engineering is even for you. If all you have is physics and calculus and you aren’t happy and struggling it will just get worse. If you are at a big “uni” talk to your adviser, they probably have office hours you can sign up for - the big unis may have tangential majors that would appeal to someone who started in engineering. If engineering is NOT at all for you and you never had the desire, time to have to difficult talk with your parents. I agree that for medical school you can major in anything as long as you have a few basics under your belt so you can still be “pre-med” if that appeals to you…and you may have checked that box with some of your freshman engineering classes. Don’t despair…being an engineer is not for everyone and many kids drop if like a rock after freshman fall or freshman year even “smart” kids decide that it doesn’t interest them once they get into it.
Operative word here is “interest”. It does not matter what goals your parents approve of, or what you thought in HS. You need to set your life path according to what is best for you and that has to be something that interests you and you do reasonably well in. An easy way to fail is to take classes you dislike. The easiest way to succeed is to be passionate about what you are doing. Your parents need to change, you need to find a way to educate them about the realities. Your IQ, gpa, test scores could be extremely high but you will not do well trying to fit that square/round shape when you are another one.
You can major in anything and go to medical school. There are post-grad programs to cover the prerequisites or you can do some of them over the 4 years you are in college. English and music majors are very welcome at med school as are many other majors. Study what you enjoy and are good at.
This none of my business and perhaps it is cultural, but from my own perspective, requiring a student to major in one of two subjects is very limiting. This is a time to explore if at all possible (granted, engineering schools don’t allow for much exploring and some universities do want a major going in). The idea that there are only a few good careers to aim for is, I think, misguided. You can graduate in a humanities if you like and have access to many jobs, to grad schools and to professional schools like med, law, business,nursing etc.
I hope there is a third party who can help you with this. It would be good to stay in school but I would hope your parents would loosen up the conditions.
If you really hate it and don’t feel you can possibly do well, even with the supports suggested by others, then by all means work for a bit or do community college and get grounded again. Good luck!
Consider dropping out and joining the military. Your future as a college student right now is bleak if your parents are paying, will allow only a STEM major, and you’re flunking out of it. Remember, you own your life now, not your parents. The military can be a very good deal for one’s personal finances and character development. (It certainly was for me.)
You’d spend four years in the job of your choice, with decent pay and piling up major financial aid for college once you get out. Military vets today are in great demand at many top colleges including the Ivies. A great many people joining the military do so because they start college, then either run out of money or flunk. Going into uniform gives a fresh start. Don’t bother trying to talk this option over with your parents. They have a vision for your future that you can’t fulfill right now, but might be able to eventually. Figure out what you want to do, then go and do it. GL to you whatever you decide.
SO MUCH THIS.
Not necessarily the job of your choice – it depends on if your selected branch needs more people to do the job of your choice. Also, not everyone is interested in military service, and a large percentage of young Americans are ineligible for US military service based on the standards for new recruits.
And really, advising a kid who doesn't want to do what his parents want, to enlist in a scheme where he has to do whatever he is told is pretty laughable. My question remains, was this student really a good match for engineering in the first place? The pre med stuff is irrelevant as most starry eyed teens who imagine doing premed never get to the pre reqs. OP thinks he has taken a hard semester, when he has taken average first semester eng classes and dropped one already. Parents and kid might need to understand how eng is self selective in the end.
OP, have you had a talk with your parents to see what their hard parameters are? As was mentioned, you can major in anything and be pre-med, so it’s possible that you can come to a compromise and major in something you like while taking some of the pre-med prerequisites.