<p>I think both parents should go. They shouldn’t let clothes or the venue stop them from participating in an important event for their son. My father used to use the excuse of not feeling comfortable in “white men world” for not going to many of my events growing up. I used to want to tell him to just suck it up and be there to celebrate with me like all other parents. Now I feel it was just as much of his lost.</p>
<p>A simple cotton dress (doesn’t have to be expensive) and low heel sandals would be appropriate for you mom. Your father could wear something similar to what you wear, except add a blue blazer if he has one.</p>
<p>If they need to buy anything new for the occasion, stick with natural fiber and the colors I have mentioned in my previous post. If you are going to a wealthy, preppy school, it maybe worthwhile for your parents to buy a few things to fit in because I am sure they’ll be going to a few more of your school events. </p>
<p>I was in your shoes 30 years ago. My preppy, wealthy college taught me much more than what I learned in classrooms. Don’t ever be ashamed of your background or parents, but be open minded of opportunities that may lie ahead of you. Congratulations, your parents must be very proud.</p>
<p>My brother did a complete make over of my dad long time ago. My dad is pretty good at putting himself together now. The only thing he has not been able to lose is his white socks. He likes his athletic white socks over dressy socks. My kids would call him up before one of their events now to remind him to not wear white socks. He is always happy to oblige when he remembers. The worst thing is when he shows up with white socks and sandals.:)</p>
<p>I agree that many events are held at country clubs. And if my family were of Indian decent I would be absolutely proud for them to wear traditional clothing, especially Sarees as they are so lovely. You are who you are and you were accepted to the college for a reason. A friend of my sons will be attending Wake Forest next year and while she comes from a wealthy family, there isn’t a discriminating bone in her family. Just go and enjoy yourself. Encourage your parents to always attend parent events and be as proud of them as they are of you.</p>
<p>Don’t be intimidated by the “country club” setting. We attended several accepted students receptions with our kids, one of which was at a country club and it was not stuffy or intimidating. It was an event geared toward college kids and their families, nothing formal. Finger foods, lots of golf shirts, khakis and very few ties. It was a nice chance to chat with other incoming families, alumni and current students. Conversations revolved around things like restaurants recs, gameday traditions, hidden gems on campus, travel logistics and campus navigation tips. It is all very light and upbeat. Relax and have a great time.</p>
<p>Absolutely! Plus, they are incredibly flattering. My kind of outfit. Recently went to a friend’s grad party - Indian family. The food? I had little idea by name what all I was eating, but it was sweet with heat and oh so good!! And the colors? It was truly beautiful. And that was just in the wardrobes of their extended family!!</p>
<p>You know… when you think about it. A country club is the least intimidating place to meet new faces. Everyone is a little nervous number one. The member who is hosting this shin dig is obviously expecting that all of his guests will be treated with respect. Whereas there is no such expectation of strangers in a hotel setting.</p>
<p>Some country clubs are VERY specific about clothing: women may not wear slacks of any sort. Men may not wear shorts (including golf shorts) anywhere at the club. Our club does not permit jeans in the dining room of any sort, nor do they permit in the formal dining room shorts/halters etc.</p>
<p>There are some clubs that are restricted. I doubt VERY MUCH if a college reception would be held as such as place. If a university does hold a reception there, I would question the ethics of all involved. Although I have been to a “restricted” club as a guest (and was warmly received) it is uncomfortable. The excuse given by our hosts was that it was “tradition” and the membership seemed to go in families (one set of parents produce three new members). Personally I think that this is inbreeding…as well as closeted bigotry…but that’s just me. </p>
<p>The hours of 5 to 7 usually will have hors d’ouvres, non alcohalic drinks and perhaps wine for the over 21 crowd. </p>
<p>Do not be intimidated. We CC folk (Country Club and College Confidential) are generally very nice. We don’t bite…except the food.</p>
<p>Think about it: If this club were to be terribly specific about dress requirements, wouldn’t that have been communicated in the invitation to accepted students?</p>
<p>Be presentable. Be modest. Have fun.</p>
<p>This college accepted YOU! Be a cleaned up version of yourself and go meet some of your classmates.</p>
<p>The manners that are expected in the cc aren’t any different from the manners that would be expected if the reception were held at a hotel. I think you’re all overdramatizing what a cc is all about. What are people going to do when they get to college and they have well-to-do classmates? Or get invited to a classmate’s home and the classmate is very wealthy? I think it’s important to remember people are just people and surroundings are just surroundings, and not let yourself be intimidated by it.</p>
<p>And totally agree - an Indian woman in a sari would be entirely appropriate, just as she would be if it were a hotel setting. That’s her heritage; that’s her dress; that is what it is. Go and enjoy. It’s a big world out there.</p>
<p>Folks, we are helping a high school senior here. He is just beginning is journey into the larger world; let’s have some compassion for him and his desire to ask us for advice. I’m discerning a scolding tone to some posts. Let’s not make this kid feel bad for having asked a reasonable question and for having empathy for his parents.</p>
<p>Fair enough - thanks for the reminder, mafool.</p>
<p>And yes - absolutely, if there were specific dress requirements (beyond the obvious) – such as a suit and tie for the men – they would be spelled out. The hosts aren’t out to try to trick the students to see whether they can navigate a country club, but to welcome them to an event and by extension, the world of the college.</p>
<p>I do want to note that country clubs are not merely or necessarily WASPy in nature, at all. Plenty of cc with heavy Jewish populations (though not necessarily restricted).</p>
<p>Not wearing socks with loafers is a very specific preppy to-the-manor-born, rich-person-of-leisure look. It looks pretentious (I’m so well-to-do I can ignore social conventions) and I wouldn’t advise someone for whom it doesn’t already come naturally to pick it up.</p>
<p>And while I agree with no short-sleeve dress shirts, there is no need for the color restrictions mentioned above. Nice and classic will do anyone just fine. Really, just because it’s a country club doesn’t mean that only certain colors are acceptable.</p>
<p>If the parents don’t want to go, I wouldn’t force them. I grew up with an English limited mother and a father who was not comfortable in smoozy reception situations. It would have been torture for them.</p>
<p>I still stand by my recommentation with lighter colors, not dark or muddy colors. Color matters. This is the same recommendation I give to new interns or graduates.</p>
<p>Agreed with socks, one needs to be able to carry it off. Around where we live it would be strange to wear socks with loafers in the summer, with laced up shoes that’s different matter.</p>
<p>My son likes wearing dark shirts with his suits. To me it gives him a downtown as opposed to a preppy look. Even if stereotypically country club members tend to the preppy style, I don’t think the kid is obliged to go with that look if he doesn’t want to. That said, if the idea is to blend in, by all means listen to oldfort, if you just want to look acceptable there’s lots more leeway.</p>