What would you grade this essay.=?

Test Preparation
1

<p>Alright, this may be kind of commonplace by now, but I hope that some people will give comments.</p>

<p>My topic was: do memories of the past help people in the present? </p>

<p>Intro:
Basically I said that memories of the past help people in the present in the following ways:
1. Memories of failure will help people overcome failure
2. Meomories of progress will help people keep and accentuate progress in the present. </p>

<p>2nd paragraph:
I explained that I became a better piano player once analyzing the memories of my faults in playing in piano recitals. I had "people anxiety" and I couldn't play around people. Then because I recognized this fallacy through my memory, and I was able to fix the future. </p>

<p>3rd Paragraph:
I used another life experience on how memories also contribute to future success by keeping good ideas. I related to how I had this generic study plan that I used for everything, and how it had been very successful. Then I said that I would change the study plan a bit to fit my situations, thus accentuating my progress. </p>

<p>Conclusion:
For my conclusion I basically said how human identity is inseperable from memory because of our advanced cognitive abilities and writing that people who say our memories don't benefit us are treating us like common pigs incapable of adaptablity and incapable of taking anything but an apathetic view of the world. I then concluded by restating my thesis. </p>

<p>All in all, I wrote about a page and a half with small writing. Any comments on what my score would be?</p>

2

<p>To be critical a 9. But hmm it really depends on how well you write.</p>

<p>Your examples are very typical and you used a weak personal example(first one). Your personal experience rather pointed out how you overcame a challenge/physical weakness. It was not entirely off but to me the focus of that paragraph was a bit distorted.</p>

<p>Yet again the second example rather pointed out that you are organized and deidcated. it actually made you appear to be rather independant and don't need the aid of past memories.</p>

<p>Overall, I think its not too convincing by citing personal epxeriences and your examples are a bit off. However like I wrote before, it really depends on your style and command of the language/skills</p>