<p>question is self-explanatory. thanks.</p>
<p>lol i read this question and translated it to myself</p>
<p>"give me some tips so I can get into penn with my essay!"</p>
<p>Subjectivity will dominate here. Should be interesting.</p>
<p>All of it?</p>
<p>Avoid cliches.</p>
<p>well, my true intent here is just to get an idea of what element of your essay the admissions officer may have found to be compelling - to such a degree that it probably helped in geting you in.</p>
<p>just wanted to know since i've gotten mixed messages and tips about what the adcom is "looking" for....</p>
<p>I tried to make sure the essay wouldn't still make sense if you substituted "University of Pennsylvania" with any other school.</p>
<p>haha thats probably what the admission officers do as well NickBarr</p>
<p>I wrote a lot about how I was similar to Ben Franklin (I share a name, so that was my starting point). I thought it was funny, and it let me work in a lot of my interests. I wrote a very similar essay for Northwestern about a similar topic.</p>
<p>When I moved in, I discovered just how obsessed this city (and this school!) is with Ben Franklin. I really got lucky.</p>
<p>My name at the top of the page, which ended in huntsman</p>
<p>legend says to avoid cliches, but i guarantee you with 20,000 odd applications, every anecdocte, syntax, style, surprise is old. some are simply less old than others. It was a headache sitting infront of the computer thinking not only about tellling my story but also trying to outguess the other writers' approaches. The fact that Penn and other good schools can replace one admitted class with rejects at no perceptible differnce lends to the idea that there are tons of good and original essays rejected.</p>
<p>i had great content even though it might have been considered cliched (it was about soccer) and sappy and any other perjorative you want to slap on it, but hey i got in</p>
<p>i feel ultimately, the essay is sort of a like a formality. That once your scores, grades, activities, recs are in, the essay provides a 'soul' to the app, the final door to pass through.</p>
<p>I know that with so many essays there are going to be repeats, but what i mean by avoiding cliches is not writing generic essays that have predictable components/parts to it. Most weak essays fall into very predetermined categories. Quoting from a Dartmouth admissions officer:</p>
<p>"My favorite cliched essay is the Outward Bound essay, which usually starts with an enthralling description of the elements ("The icy wind bit into our limbs as we struggled desperately to reach the peak") and concludes with something incisive such as, "And I learned that no matter how hard it is, if you really push yourself, you are sure to succeed." Probably 20% of all essays in a given year at Dartmouth are a variation of this theme.</p>
<p>Another common category is the "community service" (or "how I helped mankind") essay, in which you describe how you went to El Salvador to build houses for Habitat for Humanity and were shocked at how primitive conditions were. But you learned that people everywhere are basically the same, you got along well with them, and were sad to leave. Another hackneyed topic is a kind of eulogy either to a deceased grandparent or a relative who meant a lot to you ("I remember sitting on Gramp's lap as he'd tell me how hard he had to work when he came to this country after escaping terrible persecution").</p>
<p>Now that you have a sense of how bad most essays are, how do you make yours less pedestrian? </p>
<p>The best general advice I can give without writing a whole book is that the finest essays I have read are really slice-of-life essays that show what you are really like. Rather than trying to fit everything about yourself into one small category, concentrate on one incident that sheds light on your personality. This does not have to be on a grand scale. The most effective essays take a small, seemingly insignificant incident and elaborate upon it. Don't try to fit your whole life into one essay; instead, focus on just one experience in your life and make it come alive. The best essays are ones that help admissions officers understand your character better and/or shed light on any factors in your background that have influenced what kind of person you are.</p>
<p>Basically, essays that seem to just say "I'm a student leader and a strong athlete and I like the outdoors, so I would fit in" are overly done and mundane. It's no exaggeration -- many more students than you would think write variations on this theme. It's always better to observe Hemingway's "Show, don't tell!" technique of writing. Rather than describing what you are like ("I'm a leader/athlete/all-around great guy"), let it come across in your essay. You want to aim for an essay that would make the reader want to meet you in person."</p>
<p>So basically yeah, it's the soul of your app. I think an interesting anecdote that says a lot about you makes for a generally good essay. I tried to avoid "telling" as much as possible in my essays except for a small bit at the end to solidify the point I was trying to get across, but other than that, it was all "showing." I look at my essays that "told" more and they were so much crappier.</p>
<p>every asian household should have a legend</p>
<p>every legend's household should have an asian</p>
<p>Eh...what?</p>
<p>Every asian should have a household</p>
<p>nevermind.</p>