If I had a penny for every time I heard somebody say “Fit is very important” or “Fit above everything else” or “Where would you fit better”, I could buy myself a nice gift.
Maybe I am an old fuddy duddy, but in my world, you “make it work”. You make it work with your marriage. You make it work with your career. You make it work with your kids. You make it work with your neighbors and other folks.
You go to an University to study and gain knowledge. You don’t go there to be in Disneyland. University life is supposed to be tough and build your character, not some walk in the park. It is supposed to prepare you for life in the real world. I assume that people say fit is important because they believe that it is important for students to be happy while on campus and increases chances of the students’ success, but I feel that this obsession with “will I be happy there” is the totally wrong question to ask, Life is going to throw curve balls at you all the time. You have to deal with it and be happy where you are. Your success is not determined by whether or not the University “fits”, but by how hard you are willing to work and struggle to achieve greatness. What students should be asking is “Will this University push me to my limits? Will it stretch me, till I feel I can’t stretch anymore. Will it ask me for 150% and then ask me for some more. Because that is what where I want to spend the next four years studying”
Personally, I find “Fit” to be extremely overrated and a symptom of what this generation of kids prioritizes over common sense hard work, elbow grease and grit.
OK, I have shared my thoughts, but I am sure there are others here that strongly disagree with this. Can we have a discussion on this please? Both pros and cons. I think it will be interesting and informative to both sides.
Tons of great colleges out there, so why not narrow it down by ones that are a better fit?
Tons of potential marital partners out there, so why not narrow it down by ones you are compatible with?
Tons of jobs and careers out there, so why not make yourself a little happier by finding one that you like or at least can tolerate without making your life too miserable?
Life is full of choices and too short to not try to be as happy as we can be. College is a huge investment. With private school tuition/R&B easily $60-65K per year, you bet I want a place my kids will be happy - academically and socially. A good fit can be synonymous with academic quality and rigor. At least it is for my kids.
Most of us are the most productive and successful when we are happy.
I guess one question is - what is the alternative?
You could easily imagine 40 or 50 schools that are targets based on stats for your kid. You can’t apply to them all. “Fit” is as good a reason as any for narrowing them down.
You seem to be saying that it’s best to find the school that is most challenging. I’m not sure how you would put that into practice though. Schools that you’re least likely to get into? Also, I think almost all colleges have endless sources of challenges for the students willing to seek them out. It seems that students that are comfortable and confident are most likely to seek out those challenges. Which brings you back to fit IMO…
“You don’t go there to be in Disneyland. University life is supposed to be tough and build your character, not some walk in the park. It is supposed to prepare you for life in the real world. I assume that people say fit is important because they believe that it is important for students to be happy while on campus and increases chances of the students’ success”
OP, I don’t think “fit” necessarily means “happy” or “have fun”. It means going where the student is likely to thrive. Uber competitive v. collaborative; small, seminar style classes v. large anonymous classes; core curriculum v. build your own; etc.
Fit is a multisided issue. Besides the environment, academics, geographical, etc., consideration of the family’s ability to pay (financial fit) plays “the” core part of why fit is so venerated
i guess i’m a fellow fuddy duddy. for me fit comes down to three things – will i get accepted, can i afford it, and do they have my intended major? if the answers are “yes, yes, yes,” then you can make it work, and everything else is icing on the cake and goes under the category of “personal preference.”
now if you have several options, sure, personal preferences come into play. but my main beef with the whole notion is this – how can you know a college is your perfect fit based on a half-day visit and internet research? you can’t possibly know if a school is a good fit unless you have been there a while. how can a campus visit where they roll out the red carpet and put their best foot forward give you an accurate sense of what the day-to-day routine over four years will really be like?
personally i would rather hire someone whose attitude is, “i will make it work” rather than “i will be crushed if i cannot attend the school that’s my perfect fit.” i would value resiliency and flexibility over someone who may struggle to adapt unless their circumstances are always optimal and to their liking.
Define “fit.” I would include in that umbrella, whether the school is affordable, whether its course of study includes the chosen major as well as a robust department for that major (would you seek out a tech school for an aspiring writer?) where it is located (this would include, for example, issues of getting to the school, proximity to medical care for some, opportunities for internships, proximity to specific athletic venues for student athletes), whether grad school is likely in the future and whether this undergrad institution makes sense given those plans. And that’s before you even get to the likelihood of acceptance given any one student’s resume–i.e. academic fit.
The question of fit goes beyond preferences for pretty campuses and fancy dorms.
Thanks to everyone for responding with thoughtful comments. Really appreciate it. I totally get the “Affordability” argument but when a student says "I am more comfortable in an environment where <pick your="" favorite="" characteristic,="" whether="" it="" is="" small="" class="" size,="" rural="" urban,="" liberal="" conservative="" etc=""> aren’t they saying “I would rather not deal with things that make me uncomfortable”?
Is that the best way to build character?
Also, I am wondering if this “fit” phenomenon is unique to the US. I don’t hear much of this in Russia, Japan, China, Singapore, Korea, India etc, where typically students apply to the best school they can get into and then work their tush off to be successful. In other words, they fit in wherever they attend, instead of choosing based on where they think they might fit better. Maybe we have an overabundance of choices spoiling our kids here?
A school like MIT may be a great academic fit for an aspiring writing who likes science and engineering and wants to write about such subjects (if admission and affordability work out, of course).
Fair point. But what if you get it wrong. What then?
Do you ditch your choice and look for the next best fit? Or do you then just work on it? Given that there is no guarantee, what happens when the reality doesn’t live up to your expectations. You thought “College A” fit you well, and then you realize, “Holy Smoke” I was wrong! Now what?
If fit is king, then you have to abandon what you have and look for another ** great fit** Would you advise such a student to hunker down, suck it up and make it work, or would you still say “Hey, fit is king, move on”
MIT is a wonderful school for a particular type of person. I think it was pretty clear when I talked about aspiring writers, I was not talking about aspiring writers who were also seeking out a science and engineering education: I was making a broader point about finding fit.
In any case, that’s a pretty small and pretty darned specific subset of aspiring writers. In fact, the only person I know who started down that path transferred after a year to attend Barnard. The broader point holds. If my kid is set on engineering, I’m not going to counsel him to choose a small LAC that doesn’t offer a single engineering course. If my kid is interested in pursuing writing as a primary focus of his education, I’m not going to counsel him to put MIT or any tech school at the top of his list. To each his own.
Perhaps the “make it work” idea needs to come into play after the college choice is made–once the student is at the school, the student should try his or her best to make it work by addressing problems, finding resources on campus, even enduring a miserable year so that transferring to a different institution is possible. To go back to the marriage analogy, I assume that the choice of a partner is made carefully based on “fit” (do we have similar values, do we love each other, etc.). Once that choice of marriage partner is made and a legal bond is formed, I would argue the goal is to “make it work” rather than writing off the marriage and giving up. Of course, our ideas of what constitutes a fit may be flawed, but to knowingly choose a school or marriage partner who fails to meet our criteria (e.g., doesn’t share our morals, doesn’t offer the educational experience we want) is unlikely to produce an optimal outcome.
“Hard to build character if you’re relentlessly unhappy for four years.”
No, it’s hard to build character if you insist on being relentlessly unhappy for four years just because you didn’t get to go to your dream school or your “best fit” school. “I didn’t go to school where I wanted so now my only option is to be relentlessly unhappy.” That is exactly the kind of person I would not want to hire, and frankly it is the kind of person who, even IF they got into their “perfect fit” school, would eventually find something they did not like and would wind up saying, “I attended what I thought was my perfect fit but it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be and now I am so unhappy here.”
Much better to have the attitude of, “It might not meet all of my preferences, but it was the best choice of what I could afford, so I am going to make it work and be happy.” THAT is who I want to hire.
Like so many things in life, the answer seems to me to be “it depends.” Look at the kid and the school and what is/are causing the problem(s). Something that can be addressed over time? Will it get better? Something that needs to get past? Depending on the situation and the kid, may be best to move to a different school (maybe come home for a semester or two and sort things out before going back to the original college or a different one). Or maybe best to stay there and work things out.
Its like with the first examples given. I am working at my marriage. But I picked my wife after getting to know her and dating other people. I didn’t randomly pick someone from a list, get married and then say lets make it work no matter what. I think once you do get married, you owe it to yourself, your spouse and family to do everything you can to make it work. Doesn’t necessarily mean you stay in horrible situation just because you said you would. Divorce sometimes is the best option (least worst at it were).
Same is true with a career. I wouldn’t recommend to anyone throwing darts at a career list to pick one. Look at your strengths and weaknesses and likes/dislikes. Think about your goals and what makes the most sense. But once you make that choice, don’t abandon it the first sign of struggle or adversity. Work at it. Try to adapt as necessary. Though at some point, another career choice may make the best sense.
Kids are a different story. You don’t get to pick them and you have to stay with them all the way.
You don’t necessarily get to pick your neighbors. Even if you do, they may well move. I agree you make due with what you have in terms of neighbors. But at some point, may make sense to move.
But seems to me you always keep some things in mind. There are no test cases. So no matter how bad a given choice works out, all others available at the time may well have been worse. And no matter how well a given choice works out, at least one other available at the time may well have worked out better. You don’t really know if your life would have been better or worse with a given different choice. Only that it would have been different. And there are a lot of paths in life for all of us that can lead to happiness.
Some kids are sufficiently resilient, motivated, & independent to succeed in a variety of college environments. For them, perhaps fit is less important. Kids who are developmentally or chronologically young especially benefit from a good fit.