<p>My 'college life', contrary to several others', consists of more solitude than company. I enjoy the availability of peace and quiet in order to work on homework (only for the interesting classes of mine and always neglect to do other homework until the last minute) and just ... think. Think about what? Growing as an individual, searching for meaning and wholeness in life, just wanting to *learn<a href="and%20not%20pure%20knowledge,%20but%20wisdom,%20and%20usually%20don't%20get%20that%20kind%20of%20education%20from%20most%20classes">/i</a>. For every friend I have, which is maybe one, I communicate with 100 acquaintances throughout the school ciriculum. My need for company has been decimated by conficting desires among my peers and I. Nothing seems to be done, in my humble opinion, when I go out and socialize with others. I am unable to understand a lifestyle that consists of partying, drinking, a promotion for lack of thinking, an acceptance of no true goals in life worth working on, and a repetition of the same night again and again. My love of learning about the nature of people in general is discouraged by this 'herd mentality' that has developed among many of my peers. They let themselves merely become a constituent of the social machine and disallow their own individuality to kick in. The person's individuality is what I seek and not the fact that they have slowly transitioned themselves into that kind of lifestyle.</p>
<p>I just don't know know anyone. I've chatted with several people in my hall and my classes and I've noted the above observations. I barely even know my own hallmates let alone my own roommates. I have begun, for a very long time, to wonder and speculate who else in this world who has the same observations and yet is still content having solitude most of the time? Who else here hates the idea of providing themselves with temporary band-aids to fill that gaping hole inside each and every one of us? And who else likes the idea of filling that hole with finer things?</p>
<p>What is your true paradigm of thinking? Are you extremely abstract and philosophical? Or have you accepted the belief of merely being a blind follower of society's ideals? Do you go to college to look for temporary band-aids or do you to go to college to force yourself deeply into the very fundamentals of men and reality so as to deduce your own version of men and reality? Or do you believe too much thinking is just as bad? Have you even wondered about things like this? Such as the issues of a college student wondering why he travels down the wrong road willingly? How do you live right now and how do you want to live?</p>
<p>(I definitely need to major in Philosophy too, been thinking about this for a year now. Also need to stop thinking so much.)</p>
<p>So, basically, how do you guys live the college life? Are you satisifed with it?</p>
<p>Which college do u go to? And do u live in a single? I feel the same as you do sometimes but recently I've started to get to know people more. I think it just takes time. Sure I miss my high school friends who I got to know really really well because we had so much time to spend together. And for now I have a lot of bandaids but after initializing more random hang out time with them I think they're becoming more. I just realized that I have to be more patient and allow these friendships to develop.. after all I didn't realize how deep some of HS friendships were until senior year anyway. I think college has the potential for getting to know a lot of great people on a really deep level because you are essentially living together and the more involved you get in other people's lives the more meaningful the friendship will become i think. Sure, there are a lot of people here whose sole purpose is to get drunk and laid but I've also met a lot of really sweet smart people who are just trying to get an education and learn something about life. Once again I think it just takes time. Don't give up!</p>
<p>Eh ... I'm not too concerned about developing friendships. It was just an observation of mine that I tend to not connect to people most likely because of my mentality. I'm discouraged to connect with most people anyway because of the reasons I described in the posts. I'm curious about whether people think like me sometimes. That's all.</p>
<p>what you wrote sounds like me when i'm in "deep thought mode" (which is quite often). i've noticed that over the last five weeks of being at college, i really value having time to just...sit around, read, do homework, and have quiet time. i actually find myself craving it. if i don't have that time to "center" myself then i feel like i'm going insane. i talk to a pretty steady group of people now, but i would call nobody a friend. i also don't understand the whole life of drinking/partying/etc, but unfortunately, that's a mentality that overwhelms the other freshman on my campus so i can't really connect with my own class. </p>
<p>i agree with what you said about temporary band-aids and the like. i'd rather have some substance and have it take time than have something less filling and so very temporary. everything here feels like a band-aid though. i'm just doing what i have to do to survive my time here.</p>
<p>i also always say to myself that i think too much for my own good. but to answer the last question, i'm not sure if i'm necessarily satisfied by college. in all honesty, i find college disappointing. it's not the intellectual mind pool i thought it would be. it's actually kind of...vapid.</p>
<p>I'm still at a CC, but I'm worried about experiencing the situation you are in currently when I transfer and live at school. Actually, I know for a fact that I'll be the same as I am now: distant, standoff-ish and quite the loner. I literally don't talk to anyone in my classes. I go there, sit down and take notes and leave immediately. I don't even want to try and make friends (I want friends, but I'm not going to go out of my way to make them, hah). I have a tendency to disagree with people and I like to point out inconsistencies in other people's thinking, but most of the time I don't say anything because 1) it's too much trouble or 2) I don't have the confidence to voice much of anything. This isn't to say that I stutter and shake in my boots when I talk, too scared of what others are thinking.</p>
<p>Anyway, I have trouble connecting to other people in the "feeling" sense, so I'm not sure how to communicate and relate to others. I'm not sure whether or not that's also the problem you're having, though.</p>
<p>Yeah, the only thing I do now is complain. I used to be really depressed about this kind of stuff in high school, but now I'm awash with apathy. You can probably say I'm neither this, nor that.</p>
<p>I used to complain about the temporary band-aid lifestyle before, but there came a point where you just have to realize that the ultimate purpose in life is to be happy. That's it. It is not money, nor knowledge, nor 20 inch rims. It is happiness, and whatever it takes to get there. Answer me this: Would those party-whores be happier hitting the books or hitting the clubs? Now answer me this: Would you be happier hitting the books or hitting the clubs?</p>
<p>Diff'rent strokes.</p>
<p>When you realize that everyone is pursuing the same goal (some more consciously than others), everyone seems a lot more normal, and you become OK with different lifestyles.</p>
<p>I say this because I know how it feels. I have not "gotten over it" by any means, but I know I understand the concept. Now I just have to live with it.</p>
<p>^ Absolutely, but I do not mean to say hit up the books by any means. In fact in my post I mention this:</p>
<p>"Think about what? Growing as an individual, searching for meaning and wholeness in life, just wanting to learn (and not pure knowledge, but wisdom, and usually don't get that kind of education from most classes)."</p>
<p>So yes, pure knowledge is also temporary happiness. I think I can agree that to some extent we all search for that happiness.</p>
<p>It is happiness, and whatever it takes to get there.</p>
<p>But see, isn't that the kind of thinking that the band-aid lifestyle promotes? Get there no matter how inherently counterproductive the method is?</p>
<p>So is partying or drinking in general bad? No, of course not! What I do not understand is the paradigm of thinking that most of these people who party all the time execute. It's nothing personal. Curiosity arouses me as to whether they want to truly be whole and full of life rather than having to resort to temporary things for that love of life feeling. Isn't a life examined better than a life barely examined and lived like it was all a huge joke? What do you guys think? I'm just arousing some debate here, that's all. What's your lifestyle and can you justify it? If not, then maybe you are traveling down the wrong road towards true happiness.</p>
<p>I think you're romanticizing your way of life. Thinking deeply is going to make you "whole" and give you true happiness?</p>
<p>I think you should go and meet people -- there will definitely be people around you who don't do the party scene, and that's fine. But you shouldn't think that people are shallow and "going down the wrong path" if you don't understand their lifestyle.</p>
<p>Nope, not intending to romanticize my way of life. Not at all. I am merely starting a debate. That is all. I am challenging other people to think deeply about the way they live in college and why they do so (and most importantly, whether they are truly happy with doing so). I hope this clear things up.</p>
<p>So chalk, what about you? Are you satisfied with the way you live in college? Why do you live that way?</p>
<p>
[quote]
But you shouldn't think that people are shallow and "going down the wrong path" if you don't understand their lifestyle.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>It may be impertinent to render judgments about them, but they are living lives that lack depth. Whether that is 'wrong' is to your discretion; I agree with adconard, however.</p>
<p>adconard, I know exactly how you feel. I've been feeling the exact same way, and thank you for putting it into words. Sure, so far I've gone to a few parties, but it is by no means the defining characteristic of my college life. I want something more. Like tiburon_girl, I have found college a little disappointing. I guess I expected that "intellectual mind pool." A place where I am challenged not only to learn the material in the classroom but also to create, to explore, to discover yourself. So far, it's been too much studying, and too little thinking. I'm always DOING something, but not getting anything DONE. No time to catch myself, no opportunities to share a deep intellectual conversation with someone you can really connect with. </p>
<p>For me, I've been trying to fill this void with music - an outlet to express my emotions, to lose myself for an hour or so and enjoy my own company. I've been searching for friends who are involved in the arts, because I believe they have that extra something - maybe it's just that creativity, that ability to express emotions in a creative manner - that allows them to search for something more than just numbers on a page or parties on weekends. I'm not sure if I'm looking in the right places, or whether I'll ever find that "something more" but it's always in the back of my mind. I've been searching for lectures, speeches, anything intellectual offered by the university that I can attend in order to get me thinking and to challenge my preexisting beliefs.</p>
<p>So, adconard, you're not alone in your thinking. I don't like that 'herd mentality' and complacency that's so pervasive on my campus. I need something more.</p>
<p>Adconard, I agree with you 100%. I also feel that it boils down to peer pressure, and "herd mentality" is just the term I'd use. By all means, you are at college to get an education, and that is what you should get, regardless of what other people may or may not be doing. Part of being an adult is learning how to do your own thing, march to the beat of a different drummer, etc., until you can reach your goal. As for satisfaction with life, it's silly to assume that at this age one would have full satisfaction. Rather, I'd call it naive; because at the age of 18-21, a person has barely become an individual, much less experienced all that life has to offer and tapped his or her fullest potential.</p>
<p>
[QUOTE]
But see, isn't that the kind of thinking that the band-aid lifestyle promotes? Get there no matter how inherently counterproductive the method is?
[/QUOTE]
</p>
<p>The only person for whom this lifestyle is counterproductive is for you and I because we cannot understand it.</p>
<p>What these people are doing is a temporary fix, but when you are constantly living like this, it is no longer temporary. What these people have managed to do is create a lifestyle in which they always have their band-aid on. Not a bad way to live.</p>
<p>
[QUOTE]
Isn't a life examined better than a life barely examined and lived like it was all a huge joke?
[/QUOTE]
</p>
<p>Who says a good life is an examined life? Why must one examine life? This is where you are getting stuck. To you, a good life is an examined one. So you should choose to live this way. But the party animals don't wish to examine their own lives, and for good reason. If only we were all so lucky.</p>
<p>I say, enjoy yourself as much as you can, for as long as you can. And do whatever it takes to get there. Anything.</p>
<p>
[QUOTE]
What's your lifestyle and can you justify it?
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</p>
<p>My lifestyle is probably much like yours. Do not think that I don't have these same thoughts. It was only until recently that I "got over it," and only now conceptually. It still gets me down, trust me when I say this.</p>
<p>I try to find what gives me the most happiness and striving to get that. That is the very reason I signed up to this website.</p>
<p>
[QUOTE]
It may be impertinent to render judgments about them, but they are living lives that lack depth.
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</p>
<p>Why is "depth" all of a sudden a measure of a good life? I for one wish I didn't have all this "depth," and I think some of you wish the same, you just don't know it.</p>
<p>And this is not peer pressure, nor is it a "herd mentality." Condescension may make you feel better, but it doesn't solve anything. They simply like to have fun, and are having better lives than otherwise. Like I said, if we were all only so lucky.</p>
<p>Your post is pretentious, elitest, and something that I might post at 4 AM in the morning if I'm having an existential crisis. It has also generated an interesting debate.</p>
<p>I have to agree with collegehopeful99 - "depth" - what is it and why do you want it? What virtue does it have? Does it serve any purpose at all? Does it do anything besides make us unhappy? Take your post as an example. You say you're a potential philosophy student. Is there really any truth? And is hedonism an empty concept?</p>
<p>I have to say that at one point I certainly thought as you did. I realized a few things; first, that even if someone parties hard, they can still be a fascinating and very intelligent person, second, that depth isn't really what I want out of my life, and third, a little bit of the problem was that I was just being resentful. Even though I told myself I wasn't and that I was better than all of those people. </p>
<p>I do enjoy philosophy and sociology and all of those deep intellectual pursuits. I'm looking forward the summer when I'll have some time - to read Nietzche during the day and head to beach parties at night. It's a good way to be. My friend, I am studying five out of seven nights a week. If I want to live a little on the weekends, I hope that there aren't people like you who look down on me for it.</p>