<p>did you know what it was when it happened, or was it only later when you reflected that you recognized the full extent of what was forever lost, that you then saw how your youthful notions and ideas about the world were gone, that with them you innocence had been taken away, that none of this would ever return (if you imagine the ideas and notions as things on the bed, and them being distributed onto the floor when the sheet is pulled up from the bed, then that can be the metaphor for what such an event is like. the innocence, which is the pure white sheet, is uprooted and with it so is everything that the innocence was the foundation for) or did it you know it in the moment and feel it in your bones. like yup, this is the loss of my innocence and its happening right now and i can do nothing to stop it (if it was like that did it make you panic?)</p>
<p>im just wondering how it was for you guys. maybe it happened on your first day of college, when what college was in your mind failed to match what you saw. that could cause a spontaneous loss of innocence if the contrast was sufficient. or it could be something smaller. for me it was during my gap year when i fiddled away my time by reading on the internet for 16 hours per day. the change could have only been seen in the momentary droopiness of my face, which i was, at the time, hiding from the world. i recovered quickly but i never fully convalesced if you know what i mean. i never got my innocence back.</p>