<p>My parents didn’t go to college. For them, it was exciting to think of giving their daughters those opportunities, and it was a Big Deal for them to take us on tours. Likewise, my H and I met at college, have fond memories of it, and didn’t want our kids to do the usual “pick the local state school” gig, so it was a Big Deal for us to take them on tours as well. It was sort of a rite of passage, and I have no apologies for that.</p>
<p>Interesting set of differences. This time of year always brings different families together and I don’t know if its an “east coast thing?” - I graduated H.S. in 1982, in a large metro school (2000 kids 10-12 grade) and I don’t know of 1 who went on college trips. Kids followed into parents Alma maters, or siblings. We even joke about this during DD’s school functions; all the parents I meet talk about how crazy the “expectation” of college tour/selection has become… People here just didn’t do that. Now, some of us have made more of an event out of it, largely out of societal pressure (I think).</p>
<p>Consider, back in the late 70’s, early 80’s, far fewer kids went on to college.</p>
<p>I think part of it is that is a much bigger expenditure per typical family income than it used to be. I refuse to spend that kind of money without having a darned good idea of what we are spending it on, and also making sure my kid wants to go to school there and is motivated to succeed. It is a more expensive mistake to make than it was when we went to college in the late 70s.</p>
<p>expensive indeed. And the parental obligation follows that - again, back in the 70’s and 80’s? few parents paid, so few felt it necessary to vet the choices. My parents supported me going to college, but other than the occasional care package? there was no financial support. And that wasn’t uncommon.</p>
<p>The internet changed the game. My experience was almost the same as giterdone’s as I applied to and attended my school sight-unseen, and yes, I made it work and was happy. But I guarantee, if I had the internet back in '85-'86 I would have researched more AND went on a few trips. As it was, the brouchures that reached my home that actually peaked my interest were the schools I applied to. Nowadays, not only do you get snailmail but emails directing you to a school and its website. I find the more info I get about a place(if it seems appropriate and it might interest my kids and it’s within financial reason) the more we’re likely to want to visit. There is no “Societal pressure,” for us. We do it as a family because we are all curious about schools xyz. And while I agree the concept of “school at first sight,” is a definite stretch I certainly think you can rule out schools whose facilities and/or population don’t really, “do it for you.” As a parent, I certainly care that the money my student and I are paying to attend college is going to good use.</p>
<p>Yes it’s a cliche’ but for us it really is a bonding thing(ie roadtrip style).</p>
<p>the way that we introduced college campuses to our son was by signing him up for summer programs/ camps and enrichment programs thoughout the year that took place on various college campuses. We started that in 5th grade. Many were in state, but a number of them were out of state too. By doing this, he was able to experience a number of college campuses as both a residential and commuter “student”. Although he did not choose to attend any of the schools where he went to camp, it helped him narrow down his search significantly. He knew what to look for in a dorm, cafeteria, surrounding town, ammenities, and facilities. He was able to look at a campus online and determine a “feel” based on past experiences. Or find a fatal flaw that he knew he could not live with (ie: cafeteria not open on weekends, no AC in the dorm, aging labs/poor computer infrastructure, too small town, no tennis programs/courts, etc). </p>
<p>I think this approach really helped make the search focused and manageable.</p>
<p>Good point ‘DED’ The internet has brought everything closer, and made it all more accessible and familiar.</p>
<p>In the end you make your college decision based on hunches and perceptions. It is far from a science, the same way not one of us can predict the future.</p>
<p>Ultimately, I found it helpful to embrace the process of eliminating schools based on fit, weather, and random occurrences. And I am serious about that.</p>
<p>It is easy to come up with lists and lists of schools. You can drown in them. And as you visit them, they do begin to blend together somewhat. And for many you and your child can begin to envision what their life might be like there.</p>
<p>But you can only decide to attend one college. At some point, you need to begin to say no for whatever reason arises. I decided to allow my D’s to drop a college because they did not like the way the tour guide dressed or didn’t like the food in the cafeteria. A boring info session…ok by me, don’t apply.</p>
<p>I did not want them paralyzed by having a ridiculous number of choices in the end. I did not want them to fear making choices, espicially if they were based on their instincts.</p>
<p>So many of life’s choices cannot be scientifically or quantitatively measured. Good luck to those beginning the process!</p>
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<p>But part of what drives up the cost is the attitude that there is some elusive qualities that justify small distinctions between one college or university and another. That the student can somehow identify the “perfect fit” college with a visit or a tour, and that the student courts disaster without first being able to check things out – as if all of the other information available through books and the internet is somehow now rendered untrustworthy. </p>
<p>I’m sure there are places that my kids would have been miserable, but I don’t think they needed a visit to figure that out. </p>
<p>I think that if more families had a pragmatic view – then the college tuition market would be somewhat different. On the consumer end, there would be more flexibility, and that in turn would contribute to a buyer’s market rather than the seller’s market that now exists.</p>
<p>I also went on college tours before I applied, though never saw the uni I chose until I set foot on campus in fall (but it was Boulder and I knew it was gorgeous and Colorado was a cool place to go to college, so. ) I saw every school (4) I applied to except Boulder. </p>
<p>My much smarter older sister went all over the NE with my parents looking at schools but ended up at my mother’s Alma mater Smith. </p>
<p>I think the going on college tours goes way back in the NE, probably because there are so many schools and the distances are pretty drivable.</p>
<p>Spring break during her sophomore year, I sent DD on an organized college tour with her friend, a junior. The first school and the last couple of schools were a blur, she said, and actually she did not apply to any of them. Most were California publics, and when it came time to apply, I decided we could not afford the UCs. The trip served its purpose, however. It disabused her of the notion that a large uni was the best place for her. After that, we focused on LACs as well as visiting one of her financial/academic safeties.</p>
<p>Yes, my kid is semi-interested in campus appearance, but she is far more interested in what the students are like. Thus, it was extremely important to visit when school is in session. We live in Northern California, and squeezed in a visit to three So. Cal schools during Monday and Tuesday of Thanksgiving break. After identifying four LACs that give good merit aid, we flew out to the Midwest for a week during spring break of junior year – and told her that she would not have the chance to revisit them before acceptance time senior year. We spent a full (as in 9-6) day at each school.</p>
<p>At a very large university, I think one can find one’s people. At a small LAC, I think this can be more problematic if it is not a good fit with the culture. My kid is outgoing enough so that she talked to other students, including those in the classes she visited. She asked them about what music was popular with students. She rejected many, many schools including one that we and she felt would offer her so much money that it would be hard to turn down, but was in such a rural location that this city girl would be miserable. </p>
<p>I felt we needed to get started early to get DD to think about who she is and what she wants. At this age, it is so easy for kids to go along with the crowd and only apply to the schools that their friends are or to apply to the schools that they are <em>supposed</em> to want. I did not feel that those schools would be the best for my kid and most importantly for our family, those schools would not give her enough money to make them affordable. </p>
<p>Even though we are getting a lot of flack for sending out kid out of state to school (but would those same folks say that if she were going to an Ivy???), I do not regret the process or the visits, and think DD has made the best choice for her and our family. Of course, time will tell as she has not started her freshman year!</p>
<p>calmom-I disagree. With the information given at various sessions, from ad comms, tour guides, seeing the campus, etc. you can learn a lot about fit from one visit. Often it’s the little things that stand out, or not, that make a difference. I don’t think that there is only one school that will be a fit for every child though. A couple schools we’ve looked were ruled out after discussing various opportunities on campus, and the lack there of. The campus was nice, liked most things about the school but after discussing a few things with the ad comm’s, realized it wasn’t going to be what our son wanted.</p>
<p>One school we visited we knew before we even started the tour that it wasn’t going to work. That came from looking around at the other kids going to school there and quickly realizing that our kids would not fit in there. Could they make it work out if they had to, sure, but that’s the point of going on tours, do they didn’t have to try to make it fit. They have found 5 or 6 other schools that they do fit in with. On paper (internet) this school looked like a perfect fit for them too, but it wasn’t even close in real life.</p>
<p>I went to HS in the midwest in the 70’s, and my father took me on a college tour. A small but not insignificant number of my classmates also went East to college, and I presume their parents also took them on college tours.</p>
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<p>Those schools didn’t have email or telephones?</p>
<p>calmom–you know, sometimes questions come up during the tours, things that you might not have thought of or didn’t know about going into the tour and can make or break the college for a student. Yes, they obviously have email and telephones but do you know everything about every college you looked at online and know all of the questions you want to ask? Also, again, it’s hard to get a feel for the campus and the other students through a phone call.</p>
<p>Go look at all the posts from kids and parents that are struggling with their final decisions because they didn’t visit schools before applying and when they went on accepted student days found they didn’t like the schools and now they were stuck. Not a situation I would want our kids to be in come spring of their senior year…</p>
<p>SteveMA, I think you are missing the point that I have made in post #69 and earlier posts. It’s fine for all of the apparently wealthy parents on CC and/or Northeastern residents to make college visits with their kids – and I said so – but my point is that it is not necessary. </p>
<p>Some parents don’t have the money to travel around and can’t get much time off work even if they did. It is hugely stressful for a parent of a 10th or 11th grade student to think that the college visits are a necessary part of the selection process. It’s an option – and while it may be fun for the family, it’s not a particularly useful option. </p>
<p>There is a glut of information available from many sources about the colleges, – certainly far more than the student is likely to find out on a campus tour or overnight. Students who do visit tend to form gut level impressions based on factors like their opinion of the tour guide … and your example of asking the ad coms about specific opportunities at the school is a good example of asking the wrong person about information they would have no particular reason to know. So maybe you got accurate information, maybe you didn’t — but if I was trying to find out info about course offerings I think an email to a department head would be more fruitful; for internship opportunities, career services might be a better place to go. </p>
<p>The other problem I pointed out is that the mythology of the “perfect fit” college, which one poster on this thread likened to marriage, is part of what has driven up the cost of college over the years.There is belief of scarcity in a market in which their is a glut of spaces – that is, there are hundreds of colleges in the US where students can get a good education in just about any field, most of which are not particularly selective, but the idea that the student has to pre-screen for fit considerably narrows the market. </p>
<p>Given that students are also encouraged to focus on prestigious, reach schools, it also produces a good deal of angst down the line when students don’t get into the schools they liked the best. Meanwhile those students might have overlooked many excellent colleges that would have accepted them, because they weren’t on the college tour list. Typically the colleges the students are visiting are those that are least likely to accept them. Because the prestige colleges are also the ones with the largest endowments, visiting those college also tends to make other, more affordable options seem drab in comparison – it’s the equivalent of taking your kid out to look for a car and starting at the Mercedes dealership. A used Toyota is going to be a hard sell after that. </p>
<p>It seems to me that the far more common complaint in the spring is that the student is having a tough time choosing among a set of safety or match colleges after having been turned down by the schools they fell in love with when visiting, and dismayed over costs and lack of financial aid.</p>
<p>Everything you can learn about a school from reading and videos is insufficient, imo.</p>
<p><em>If</em> you can afford to make visits, I wouldn’t dream of not doing them. D’s #1 school on paper (Columbia) was such that she didn’t even bother applying to it after visiting. Otoh, the whole feel of the LAC’s and women’s colleges completely junked her previous assumptions and reconfigured her application list. Yes, the amount of $$ was non-trivial. But compared to four years of college, it was barely a pimple on an elephant’s butt.</p>
<p>We started by seeing one college in D’s third-choice area while on vacation during D’s 9th grade Spring break (Northwestern). Five colleges during 10th grade break: G’town, American, GW, Gettysburg, and Iforgot. 11th grade was the Boston to New York death march: seven colleges in 10 days. During 12th grade threw in a one-off to Stanford and Imblanking.</p>
<p>9th grade was not too early to start. Gave her something to react against and to compare with when she got more serious. As a result, she was a lot calmer than many of her peers when 11th & 12th came. Went from “Dad, I feel like an idiot” at Northwestern being the only freshman there to “Dad, I feel like an idiot” while being taught how to hail a cab in DC, to “I’ve pretty much got it under control” in 12th. Which isn’t to say I wish the !@#$%^&*! application essays had been finished before 12/28.</p>
<p>HI TheDad!! Long time no see!!!</p>
<p>OK, back to our regularly scheduled discussion.</p>
<p>we used to stroll S through Princeton’s campus as a baby. Can never start too early or visit too many.</p>
<p>Keep in mind that we parents are often the targeted clients. We need to evaluate the product!</p>