I think it’s easier for women to feel more at ease giving personal compliments since there isn’t as much concern about accusations of harassment or creating a hostile work environment by making such remarks. I tried for about a decade to persuade my H to not comment on appearance and he brushed off my concerns until a colleague had a complaint filed against him for complimenting a 20-something new hire about her new hair cut in a small group meeting.
Loved Hoggirl’s example about the backhanded compliment since it happened to me. Most of my colleagues in my second banking job came from well off families who supplemented their incomes. Some of the women still had charge accounts at upscale clothing stores that were billed to their fathers. I was independent, and as a result owned just three skirted suits which were rotated with five or six blouses and two pairs of simple pumps. My big splurge was a slim leather portfolio.
Not all of my colleagues dressed in a manner considered professional back then, which was expected to include skirted suits, pantyhose and heels for the women. I was told that my outfits were just fine and I “always” looked good my navy blue or gray suits although a strand of pearls would be a nice on committee meeting days to look a little more polished.
A similar “compliment” came from a coworker who towered over me. She remarked about a new striped blouse saying it was a good choice since it made me look taller and slimmer. I found that a bright smile and cheerful thank you! seemed to confuse people who’d say such things. She looked like she was dying to set me straight but knew she couldn’t.