Dd still has some schools that haven’t released, but she has some solid choices already. The final choice will be hers, but we want to help her to set the right criteria, except I don’t really know what that is.
Of course money will be a part. Is it better to go to a higher ranked school or a higher ranked program? In her case a top 20 school or a top 10 physics program? Should she consider name recognition? If she gets a nod from a more prestigious school is that the winner?
What about class requirement fit- A more open curriculum vs the set in stone type. Do honors programs at prestigious colleges matter? GPA for scholarships to stay, those differ I think, with a tough major that is a concern. Research options? Summer programs? Can she get into grad school from here?
Social fit - collaboration vs competition. Are the kids happy? Graduation rates, retention rates? Dorms? Food? Transportation options? Distance from home?
Please help me. What did you suggest your kids consider when making the final choice?
It was simple in the Thumper household. We did all the financial talk before applications were submitted…so any acceptances our kids received were places they could attend.
We set a deadline…and let our kids make the decision from their offers. We had already discussed the schools prior to applications being sent…and any acceptances were on the table for matriculation.
Those criteria you listed should have been discussed before applications were sent…in my opinion.
Presumably your kiddo applied to all of her schools because she liked them…and would attend if accepted.
Let HER make the choice.
Obviously, if she asks questions…answer, but beside that…let HER make the choice.
Was not that easy in our house! But agree with Thumper that she needs to make a choice and recognize that if choosing among all good choices, she will be fine.
I think “fit” is incredibly hard to judge in many cases. So much depends on the kid, the major, the ECs and the luck of finding your tribe. Of course a very liberal kid from the north may find it harder to fit in at a big Southern school where Greek life is key. But in general kids find their place at most colleges.
Admitted students day, financials (and yes the GPA for keeping merit is important), and life goals have to be weighed. But at some point she just has to choose and not look back.
For us, the final decision was theirs based on the affordable options. For one, the choice was pretty obvious due to costs. For the others, they had to choose among similarly priced options. Not sure there is a magic answer on how to choose.
@thumper1
We are so lost I guess. How do you all KNOW the financials before applying? She applied to some that had nice merit if she could get it (some she did, some she didn’t). Our net cost estimates were pretty off at some schools. We did our best to know before hand, but it was all best guesses. I guess we did something wrong that we didn’t know for sure what our costs would be? I have another kid and would love to get it perfect next time.
You folks are lucky. There are net price calculators on each college website…to give you at least an estimate of your net costs. They might not be as accurate with divorced parents, parents who are self employed or own a business, or folks who own real estate other than their primary residence.
But REALLY…the only number that mattered to US was the amount WE felt we could contribute for college costs annually. So…really…that was our budget…and we were a two parent professional income family…so finances in 2003-2010 when our kids were in college…I worked…and my whole salary paid for college.
You need to set YOUR budget. Use the net price calculators. Be realistic about need based aid prospects…some folks apply and hope for more aid than their incomes would indicate. Know the policies of the colleges…if they don’t meet full need for all accepted students…they won’t!
If you are higher income and your kiddo has high enough stats, apply to places with guaranteed merit aid…that does NOT consider family finances.
Look at your instate publics if finances are a consideration. Many are really fine research universities, with honors college programs for higher achieving kids.
My perspective may be different from others. I don’t buy into the prestige game like others do. Don’t get me wrong, you can get a fabulous education at top 50 schools, no doubt, but for us, top 100 works too. My son will most likely turn down a top 50 to attend a top 100 because of the program being offered at the top 100. It fits him perfectly and is highly regarded. Plus, they are giving him a nice merit scholarship. If he decides that major isn’t for him (which is unlikely), he will have plenty of other options from which to choose. He will make the final decision after an Admitted Students Visit.
What I can strongly advise for your daughter is for her to choose a school with academics that excite her, one with a high freshman retention rate (that means kids like it and want to stay), and one that provides a social life that is compatible with her personality. Don’t pick a flagship, for example, if the school is just too big. My son is fortunate that the program he was accepted to has 1200 students in total (300 from each class) despite being part of a large school (25K+ school student body). Maybe I am too optimistic, but top students will always find jobs and grad school opportunties, especially in STEM.
@itsanadventure I read your post this way: you are willing to pay for her most expensive school but that doesn’t mean that is the best school for her. We have had similar discussions. We are going to have to make a list at our house. One item on the list will be cost. Because if we pay more for tuition, there will be less for fringe benefits like spring break trips. And if we pay less for tuition, there may be enough leftover for a single rather than double room. So it all comes into play. My child may want the single and the spring break trips more than the pricier tuition.
We did run net cost estimators on every single school, but some are coming in significantly different than what we expected. The worst of them will be eliminated.
We did our best to pick “matches” (avoided large flagships, chose high graduation rates, etc), but there is no “perfect” school. The one that has the best dorm situation doesn’t have the best curriculum for her but that one doesn’t have the highest ranked program but that one is more expensive and this school is ranked higher but that school is more well known.
We won’t send her anywhere that we truly can’t afford, but within reason we want her to select her best school. Just none of us know exactly how to put that criteria together.
Yes @ProfessorMom1 , “affordable” comes in many forms and at specific costs in other areas. We will not drive to the poor house to get her educated, but the difference of $10,000 per year is significant to us and they are coming in with splits that wide. Is $10,000 extra worth it? $5,000? Is the cheapest the best? Is $10,000 difference worth it if the program is a better fit so grades will come out better? There are so many variables.
I know my husband’s gut instinct will be that top 5 schools trump the rest of the top 20 schools, but I am not sure that I believe it is as simple as that.
Does that work? I think (??) what is probably causing the difference is that we own our home. It is modest, but it is paid for. It is the only thing I can come up with. We are very uncomplicated financially.
@“Erin’s Dad” the net price calculators are not a contract or guarantee.
And sometimes things like assets change between when the NPCs are done…and the financial aid forms are submitted.
And lastly…some NPCs don’t ask about things like home equity…but DO use it in the calculations (Profile schools). Some don’t ask the source of income…but DO add back in some deductions for self employed or business owners as income.
@sybbie719 has written several times about schools that meet full need…and awards varying by $20,000.
We don’t even know if this poster’s college list includes schools that meet full need.
@thumper1 I agree with your points. The school can explain which occurred in the FA review. If you don’t ask nothing happens. And yes, the colleges do get to define what Meets Full Needs means to them, but that is one reason schools are required to have an NPC.
How to choose a school
What is the net cost of each school, including transportation in the fall, spring, thanksgiving, christmas and spring break?
Have your child picked a top 2 or 3 and gone to their admitted students days?
I would make a spreadsheet and include info like:
Net Cost
Number of Undergraduates
Faculty Student Ratio
%of students that live on campus
How big is the department for your major? If you are majoring in something that only has a couple of professors, that does not bode well.
Housing- do they offer all 4 years? freshman only?
Urban/rural/suburban
Is this a commuter school? (do students go home on weekends)
Surrounding area - what is the nearby town/amenities like?
Transportation - how would you get home
AP Credits - can you get credit for AP tests you have taken
Male/Female ratio
Greek life - what % of students are in greek life
Parking
Diversity
Safety
Sports
Campus
Jobs - what happens to seniors after they graduate
Internships - depending on your major, is it easy to get internships?
…and whatever makes sense for you
You might not care about, say, greek life. but if 50% of the kids are in greek life and you don’t want to be, that is something to know. Or you may want a big time sports scene or you might not want one.
If you are fancy, you could weight each of these.
Grade them from 1-5 as they make sense to you. Then see which one has the largest score.
Then see if that is the one you secretly would hope would win.
My eldest chose based on a combo of price (not cheapest, but under 30K net) and that it gave her the most IB credits of all the choices.
My youngest went ED…she goes to a in-state honorsy State College that is 5K undergrad and an hour from home with a nice campus.
For my son - we looked at the curriculum and how he would best deal with it, we looked at how easy it was to transfer to different majors because he was very iffy on it going in, then we looked at the engagement of the student body, if it was a live on campus type school or a suitcase live off campus school. He did not want a school that revolved around sports and he did not want a politically oriented school, though unfortunately it turned into that while he was there. He went and talked to 2 educators he really connected with, who knew him well and knew the schools well. He went ed2, and after acceptance he went again to reaffirm. His dad and I knew it was the right school the minute we walked on campus, but he was welcome to choose whichever school he wanted.
For my daughter when she was down to 2, we took her to both. I know her and I knew she would not at all be into the weather at one of them so we went in the heart of winter there. Both schools were equal beyond location. She chose in the airport on the way home.
Great posts and I had something similar around the Top 5 schools my D was accepted to. Finances aside, as that is a deal-breaker category, the #1 question to answer IMO is “does this place feel like home?” My D is a bit reserved and did not show a lot of emotion +/- UNTIL her last admitted students day at UoF. She was smiling, asking more questions compared to any other school and was picking out the scooter (they all have them there) color. She didn’t officially pick her school yet, but I would be shocked if this was not it.
Make it VERY clear what you are able / willing to do financially (whatever that is). If merit comes in and pushes certain schools into the mix, great. If not, not.
Within the financially feasible group, have your kid think seriously about fit and create a pro / con list for each in consideration. Revisiting fit after acceptance had more impact than prior as it had a sense of reality to it. Made it much easier for my son to weigh options.He did that and 8 became 3. It was much easier with 3. He narrowed it to two, attended admitted day for both and made a decision.
