Ok, you are further along having already had unofficial visits, face to face meetings with the coaches and other players. So it seems there is genuine interest vs someone who has just had emails and phone calls with the coach.
At this point, you can seek clarity on the timeline and whether anything would happen before the pre-read process.
My son had this also. After months of silence, Stanford called him out of the blue, and gave him an offer (pending his preread, which they only put at 70/30). If they had been more responsive earlier who knows, maybe he would have ended up there. But by the time they called, he had all but accepted the offer at the school he ultimately attended.
He also has a couple others who showed strong interest, then kind of dropped off. From our POV, it was really random. Iâm sure a lot of it had to do with reasons having nothing to do with him. Another recruit showed interest, an injury of an existing player rehabbed better than expected, someone transferred in or out, a different weight class (position in other sports) suddenly became a bigger priority, or probably a dozen other reasons we had no control over, or ability to anticipate or even know why after the fact.
There will be surprises along the way, good and bad. It sounds like youâre doing the right things, but I will echo everyone else is saying. Keep in touch with a lot of coaches. You never know when you may have to drop down to the 2nd, or 7th choice. Be honest, but also keep several coaches in play. After she verbally commits, let the other coaches know promptly and respectfully. Because you never know if she may be calling them in December after a shocking denial. Probably not, but better to be prepared.
Wise words from the folks from CC. Just adding my two centsâŠ
My D23 is a âtop recruitâ at some schools and I do not fully believe anything until I see the acceptance in the portal. She has couple official visits lined up and she will most likely be offered to âcontinue the recruiting processâ. This is the key point.
The coach can answer your ED1 support questions, but without a clear picture of the pre-read, you are just trying to reduce the stress and uncertainty of this process by the coach telling you sweet nothings.
My DD has increased her schools from 10 to 14. She got two more zoom calls requests from the coaches. Cast a wider net.
Btw, the official visits mean that my DD can get a free meal and maybe get to sleep on the floor in a dorm. Awesome!
Good luck!
Listen to @dadof4kids!
My son was recruited in the midst of the pandemic, so his recruitment was a crucible of random/crazy. Through it all he wisely stayed in touch with the 10ish realistic schools on his broader target list. That included updating target schools with little or no coach response.
While, as dadof4kids mentioned, the ghosting seemed random, we later found out that one coach was in the process of leaving, one was recovering from illness, one had his first child and one was just starting the position. Regardless, the point is to stay in touch. Pro Tip, update both the head coach and recruiting/position coach so there isnât a single point of failure.
My son finally set a personal deadline to make a decision and updated a narrower group of schools on his timing. As it turned out, a school who he thought was ghosting him came back strong, he committed and is currently at his dream school. If he hadnât kept throwing updates into the void, he would have ended up at a different school.
I hope your experience is far less crazy than ours. Regardless, keep up the good work, keep plenty of irons in the fire and enjoy the positives, the negatives and the mysterious.
You actually flagged something that we did wrong. My son was only emailing the head coach, unless a different coach replied then he would email that coach. I think some of his stuff just wasnât landing on the right desk and programs who would have been interested if they took the time to see who he was werenât responding for that reason. If I had to do it over, I would have him still email head coaches, but CC two or three other coaches too. Different coaches have different programs in place for how they deal with recruiting. Itâs kind of hard to know from the outside who the correct person is.
Iâve talked about this before, but we had the same experience with a deadline as well. It was more just an offer coming in, but it was from a school everyone knew it was going to be very high on his list, so several places heard about it through the grapevine and offered him within a week. A couple other coaches when he talked to them on the phone next gave him a soft offer, along the lines of âif you want to come here Iâll give you an offer and you can come here.â
They are all trying to put the best team together possible, and hoping for the next Michael Jordan to fall through the cracks and for them to get a shot at him. But when they know they have a day or two to make a decision on a realistic choice, they will frequently make that offer and stop holding out for that kid they know they have a 5% chance of actually landing. We focus on how itâs an unpredictable high pressure environment for the kids, which it is. The playing field is usually slanted towards the coaches, but they still have to deal with unpredictability too. So sometimes the kids end up being the ones with the power to give an exploding âtake it or leave itâ offer when offers from other school start coming in.
This is all incredibly helpful info! I have a follow-up question and here is the quick background: DD (2023) has a follow-up call today with coach of her top 1 or 2 choices (NESCAC). She has a significant relationship already with this coach; sheâs been emailing her regularly for past 1-2 years, has been on campus for both clinics and visits a couple of times (including meeting, hanging out with team, coach, etc.), has talked on the phone before, etc. As mentioned, Coach has told her several times sheâs a âtop recruitâ- I know, that really mean nothing. So, DD is talking with her this afternoon on the phone to ask additional process questions. I know there are no guarantees prior to a pre-read or offer and she is still casting a wide net, but she will be asking her the following questions to attempt to further pinpoint process and interest. She will NOT be asking direct questions about getting a fully supported slot, because as many have pointed out, it seems premature until after pre-read and an offer is given. So, these are the questions she is asking on the phone today and if others have any to add at this point or quesitons to remove, Iâd love to hear!
-What specific info. is gathered at pre-read?
-When is material gathered?
-How many recruits are you taking through pre-read?
-With my current ACT score (31, but re-taking in June), is that likely to go through pre-read/How do my current stats/chances look? DD will listen very carefully here to response
-How often does it happen pre-reads you send through are not positive?
-You have mentioned Iâm a Top Recruit; Iâm wondering where on the list I am and when you decide which athletes to support with a slot?
-Is there anything else that happens prior to pre-read, or that I should be doing?
***If any of these questions seem inappropriate, let me know, and if any should be added, let me know!!
THANK YOU!
My only thought is to be sure to add some questions that show interest in the team (as opposed to just the process/outcomes affecting your player).
Because you have already done visits, etc., you may have already tread over this ground a lot â but I always thought it was good to ask something about coaching philosophy or coachâs goals for the next season or two or coachâs opinion on teamâs greatest strengths/challenges, etc.
Yes, agreed! Again, itâs tricky because sheâs talked to the coach so much already. Sheâs already asked team/program goals, philosophy, etc. Itâs hard to come up with new questions to demonstrate interest, but open to suggestions!
It is easier when the team is in season, because then your player can talk about recent games/competitions â maybe even watch some on livestreams, etc. But even out of season, there are usually some team announcements about new commits, remodeling of the conditioning gym, etc., to discuss â just showing your player is following and paying attention to their social media, if nothing else.
Good luck!
Does the coach already have her unofficial transcript and score?
If yes, and the coach is still in recruiting talks, that already tells you the coach thinks theres a good chance of passing the preread. They donât waste their time with kids that they know canât get through admissions.
Personally I prefer more general questions about the process at this stage. E.g. " can ypu walke through the process from here on out?"
Then she can ask clarifying questions, like when they say they get the preread materials in May, she can ask âwhat are those materials?â Though â this question is kind of unnecessary (understanding kids need things to talk about) because it is what it is. Some nescacs wanted just transcript and scores; one wanted a resume (they provided a template) and one wanted a graded paper since all schools were test optional due to covid.
Good suggestions regarding more general questions. Coach already has her transcript and senior course schedule for next year. DD and I canât recall if she has her test score; DD thinks yes, I think no. We have tried to keep careful track, but with so many conversations, calls, etc. sometimes itâs challenging. I think this is the only school/coach who hasnât asked for the test score yet, based on DDâs notes. We donât want there to be any surprises, so we feel she should ask about it and listen carefully to the answer. DD handles all of these calls independently and doesnât like us in the room, which I respect, but it can be tricky to be sure she writes everything down/remembers it, since sheâs talking at the same time.
I think there are some mixed opinions on this, but if this is one of her top choices, I donât think itâs unfair for her to say you are one of my top choices, and Iâm wondering where I am on your list and what your timeline is for when you will start making offers.
Different coaches have different procedures, and itâs all over the board. And honestly I have no idea with your daughter if top recruit means top 30 when the coach only gets 5 slots or if it means number one and they are waiting for a positive preread to offer.
When I was talking to the coach where my son ultimately ended up (he told my son to have me call him, among other things he wanted to make sure I was ok with no scholarship at an ivy), we were having a good conversation and it kind of got here organically not by plan. But we got to that point in the conversation and he ended up telling me he was giving my son an offer. Partially because I think he was nervous that my son was still casting a pretty wide net and talking to every coach who called to make sure he had something. The coach was a little afraid someone else was going to swoop in and take him, so I think he gave my son an offer a few months earlier than planned on.
Iâm not saying that as the situation with your daughter. But if asked, they might give a revealing answer.
Thanks so much for sharing, itâs really helpful. DD has already told the coach itâs âone ofâ her top choices and what is the timeline, but the timeline question was a few months ago with a more general response along the lines of âWe are narrowing the pool, youâre certainly a top recruitâ and we do prereads July 1." DD is trying to get a little more specific by asking when are pre-read materials gathered, what materials, where am I on your list as a top recruit? Phone call is at 5pm, so Iâm curious what she learnsâŠ
We are ALL curious what she learns. Waiting patiently for an update.
Just kidding, waiting impatiently. 
The preread will determine everything. We went through the recruiting process with the NESCACs last year, and July 1 is the date to submit, and then a few weeks later, the picture becomes much clearer as to what schools are really viable options. âTop recruitâ from coach means nothing without the admissions office giving the green light.
Our top school choice where my son was indeed the top recruit fell away, because even with test-optional the AO was test crazy ( and my son had a good SAT score!). A more selective school (with a higher-ranked team) swooped in at the end, wowed DS with his fall recruit trip, and he is going there in the fall. In summary, he had contact with eight of the NESCACs, positive prereads and offers from five, but we did not know that until after prereads were completed. Throughout it all, there was frequent contact on both sides (coaches and my son) with all schools. Good luck to your daughter!
Definitely if the AO isnât on board, the game is over.
But Iâm guessing most coaches can spend 15 seconds looking at the data and know with 95% certainty on most prospects what the answer will be. There will always be some in the gray area. But most kids probably arenât in it. There are in a position where either the coach will be flabbergasted if he gets a no, or the coach knows that it is not likely but the recruit is good enough that itâs worth trying for that 10% chance they say yes.
Oh wow, those stories make me so on edge! So glad it worked out for you son in the end, but how stressful! Are you comfortable sharing the name of the NESCA that fell through? If not, no pressure, completely understood. Makes me uneasy because my daughterâs top 2 choices are NESCACS and most of her second-tier choices are also NESCACS.
I wanted to provide an update following my daughterâs call yesterday with one of her top choices (highly selective NESCAC). I think it went as well as it possibly could at this juncture, prior to a pre-read. DD started out more general (as suggested here) saying she was curious about preread process and how many they take through the pre-read. The coach told her they are taking 10-20 through pre-read. DD then asked what specific materials they will request for pre-read and when (June and standard materials such as transcript, scores, school profile, no essay/writing sample). DD then told her (reminded her?) that she had a 31 on the ACT and was re-taking it in June, but with her current stats (coach has her transcript and senior course schedule- both are strong), how does she think pre-read would go. Coach told her (I stressed many times how she had to listen closely here and we it down verbatim immediately after call):
They âsupportâ some athletes and they âofferâ some athletes. They are âsupportingâ DD. The school is looking for 34 ACT, but because DD is a fully supported recruit, her 31 was ok. Coach went on to say that because sheâs a top recruit and being given âextra supportâ, even if her score was lower than 31, she would just send her through TO because her grades, courses, are good. The coach then asked if she was talking to any schools outside of NESCAC because I think she was worried about DD getting an offer before July 1. Coach said theyâd do the pre-read right on July 1.
SOâŠare we correct in thinking this is as positive as can be at this point in the process? We know that things can change and itâs still 3 months until July 1, but do you all think, given the conversation, itâs likely to stay this way until then? DD going back to campus 5/1 and in frequent contact. Thanks everyone, this forum is invaluable!
Posted below, would love your thoughts!
This sounds as positive as can be at this point.
Have your D get all the pre-read materials to the coach as soon as requested in June. It sounds like coach will send pre-reads to admissions on July 1âŠbut from there the results could take a day, a week, or weeks. The coach is not in control of that timeline and 10-20 pre-reads from that coach plus the pre-reads from all the other coaches can easily be in the hundreds.
Meanwhile your D should continue talks with the other coaches. Good luck.