When to Worry About Possible Computer Game Addiction

Parents Forum
61

<p>Very interesting. Sounds like it was going to be implemented in the fall of last year.</p>

<p>seiclan,
We are concerned about our 12 year old son who also likes to play computer games. After numerous Saturdays this winter spent playing computer games, my husband and I decided to look for alternative activites. We found him class in game design for kids his age. He's interested and hopefully this will make his time in front of the computer just a little more productive. The problem with plain taking away the computer time (at least for our kids) is that they have been playing for so long that they have a hard time coming up with alternative things to do.</p>

62

<p>Wife convinced me last night to not contact the roommate. This is very hard for me not to do. She is usually overly proactive imho and I am the opposite. </p>

<p>I have though of sending him some of the comments in this thread or even some from this site called everquest widows dot com. I had to stop reading that site. It was just too frightening.</p>

<p>Oh well, time to concentrate on the problems of my clients, many of whom have much more difficult lives. Joke: What is the difference between major surgery and minor surgery? Minor surgery is when it happens to the other guy.</p>

63

<p>texdad, when i saw the words World of Warcraft, my heart skipped a beat! We have gone through the same choas that you have experienced, my once social athletic, involved son suddenly pushed EVERYTHING aside for this stupid meaningless game, the hpynotic qualities I believe should make it illegal to anyone under 21, I mean at the very age when they need all their marbles to concentrate on school, college, girls, friends, sports, etc............they are using their brain power on this garbage. I can't tell you how many nights me or my husband would wake up to get some water and find him at 3 am on the computer, he literally could go on for 12 hour bouts at a time if we let him, I feel this too delayed the typcial cycle of growth, both mental and emotional. I am so against these games, thankfully my others have no interest whatsoever and I plan to keep it that way.
Sadly, at his age there is almost nothing you can do, he must be the one to wake up one day and realize this is a destructive path, one from preventing him to move on in ways which have meaning. Believe me he will go to this realization, I hope for your sake its very soon. Good luck!</p>

64

<p>I will mention a product that can be used to help. ** CyberPatrol. ** </p>

<p>Let me preface my comments with some important info.</p>

<p>(1) I have no business or monetary affiliation with CP. I only know of it, as a parent who has used it for Internet filtering, and Time Management. It is for the latter usage that you may find if helpful. </p>

<p>(2) It will not "cure" the problem/addiction. That needs to be dealt with, using the many useful suggestions that this thread has suggested. What it will provide, is an easy to use method of controlling access. </p>

<p>(3) Like an anti-virus software, it does require an annual subscription cost. If you have a problem with a family member (too much time on the internet, too much gaming, inappropriate websites, etc, - then i think you get to the point to where you feel that you would pay almost anything to put in some controls. </p>

<p>(4) I will repeat, because there is a subscription fee that ** i do not have any financial association to the company, at all, whatsoever. **. I have benefited from some of the features. I offer it as a solution to those who need some way of controlling their computer.</p>

<p> <a href="http://www.cyberpatrol.com/uploadedimages/product/TimeManagement.jpg%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.cyberpatrol.com/uploadedimages/product/TimeManagement.jpg&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>
<a href="http://www.cyberpatrol.com/Default.aspx?id=124&mnuid=2.4"&gt;http://www.cyberpatrol.com/Default.aspx?id=124&mnuid=2.4&lt;/a> </p>

<p>You can use it to define </p>

<ul>
<li>access hours to the Internet (days of week, hours of day), and when you define an not-access time, then the internet will not be accessable.</li>
</ul>

<p>** you can individually specify the program name, and tell what days, and what hours of the day, and even how many hours per day, or per week, that the program can be played.</p>

<p>*** You can define separate userids. </p>

<p>++ all powerful parent id with password - in case it is a shared computer, and the parents need open ended access. </p>

<p>++ teen-userid - limited access during approved hours to online and games.</p>

<p>++ default access - in case you have young kids. No internet access, and very limited program access.</p>

<p>Here is a quote from their website:</p>

<p>Protect
With all things in real life creating a balance is vital - the same applies online. For this reason, CyberPatrol can help you create the online environment you want for your users that helps protect them, you and your PC!</p>

<p>Time Management
You can limit Internet activity and restrict access to programs on your PC like computer games, or block access to home finance packages. Limits can be based on time of day, daily and weekly cumulative time allowances. </p>

<p>Program Downloads
Programs downloads can be blocked, ensuring users seek permission before downloading games, music, images and videos, and/or P2P programs etc. This helps secure your PC against Spyware and viruses and can prevent the download of illegal or copyrighted material. </p>

<p>Protect Privacy
Helps safeguard against predators and identity thieves, by stopping users from revealing personal information online like names, addresses, phone numbers, credit card information etc. </p>

<p>Security
Delivering extra protective features to help you and your users get the most from the Internet, including:</p>

<p>Customized Ready-to-go Filtering - New!
Simple installation and set-up need not take more than a few minutes with Broadband. During set-up CyberPatrol lets you select your Environment and User Type to tailor your ready-to-go filter settings - it's ideal for the novice user. Fltering settings and additional User Profiles can be quickly created and fine-tuned for each user or groups of users.</p>

<p>Unlimited User Profiles
Enables you to create as little or as many Profiles as you need.</p>

<p>User Profile Creation Wizards - New!
Creating a User Profile is even easier with the use of these Wizards, as they lead you through the process step by step.</p>

<p>Windows User Name Integration - Enhanced!
For seamless access to your CyberPatrol User Profile filter settings.</p>

<p>Override Mode
Active filtering settings can be quickly and easily overridden through the password protected Override Mode button on the HQ Toolbar. </p>

<p>Instant Override - New!
Password protected or warn only Instant Override option can be offered to users on Blocking Pages.</p>

<p>Fast User Switching
Windows XP is supported.</p>

<p>Auto Time-out
A great safety feature that keeps watch over an active User Profile, so when it's left idle it will switch to the <default> profile. </default></p>

<p>Compatibility - Enhanced!
CyberPatrol is rigorously tested for compatibility with the most popular applications, the latest being the Blackberry Desktop Manager, Corel WordPerfect Office, and AOL 9 SE.</p>

65

<p>the URL link in the above post did not work, I will try to post it again.</p>

<p> <a href="http://www.cyberpatrol.com/Default.aspx?id=124&mnuid=2.4"&gt;http://www.cyberpatrol.com/Default.aspx?id=124&mnuid=2.4&lt;/a>
</p>

66

<p>^ there, i tested it, and that link works.</p>

67

<p>Cyber Patrol is what we used while S was in high school. It worked alright, not perfectly. The filtering had a tendency to over-block internet sites, and it sometimes required complete reboots of the computer for unknown reasons. The time management part of it did work well.</p>

68

<p>some might argue over-filtering is better than under-filtering. I think that the newer versions are far better than the earlier versions. </p>

<p>My S still enjoys online games. We finally removed the Time Management features in either his Jr or Sr year. We figured that he wasn't going to have it at college, so better to get him to learn to control his own time.</p>

<p>One interesting story. I went on a tour of a college, with my son and his best friend, while they were juniors in HS. The college is the Top 10 of USNEWS Engineering Rankings. The tour took us (students and parents) all over campus. After the regular tour, we went through the Engineering Departments. We ended the tour in the Aerospace Engineering Dept. The Chair of the Dept was there, but he let his highest-honors student give the overview presentation. Wow, were we impressed. The student went on and on about the program, the rigorous schedule, and many projects and labs. The student ended his presentation by describing the National Aeronautic Contest that the Seniors participate in (designing, building, and flying - what they designed). He described the endless hours in the lab, spending all nighters working on completing, and testing their craft that they designed. We were all speechless, thinking how we would love to have our son or daughter involved with something so interesting, so technical. It was very impressive. THEN, the Prof interrrupted, and asked the student: "Do you have any regrets? Did the amount of time that you spent on the project cause you to miss out on other activities or studies?" (seemed like a good question). The student replied: "I did miss playing my Sony Playstation during the many hours at the end." </p>

<p>Not that one person, and one story is telling of how every student will, or will not, turn out. However, I did think to myself, "if this top honors Engineering Student, who managed this Aeronautic Project, loves to play video games, maybe they are not necessarily as bad as i thought. </p>

<p>Just food for thought.</p>

69

<p>
[quote]
We have gone through the same choas that you have experienced, my once social athletic, involved son suddenly pushed EVERYTHING aside for this stupid meaningless game, the hpynotic qualities I believe should make it illegal to anyone under 21, I mean at the very age when they need all their marbles to concentrate on school, college, girls, friends, sports, etc............

[/quote]
</p>

<p>I love how the game is meaningless, but the sports aren't. Could it be that mom has an interest in sports, but not games? If you ask me, both are equally meaningless, but FUN. </p>

<p>If your son was spending 12 hours a day doing something that you enjoyed, I doubt you'd fuss.</p>

70

<p>I love how the game is meaningless, but the sports aren't. Could it be that mom has an interest in sports, but not games? If you ask me, both are equally meaningless, but FUN. </p>

<p>If your son was spending 12 hours a day doing something that you enjoyed, I doubt you'd fuss.</p>

<p>Thats right! THe game TO ME is meaningless, to see my son isolated in his room without any human interaction, without being outside under the sun and breathing in fresh air, is a real problem To see him literally hypmotized to a screen TO ME is meaningless, in fact I would venture to say most parents in my position feel EXACTLY this way. Sports are a proven stress reliever, a great medicine for both mind and soul. Its a fact that when you exercie, once the feel good chemicals get released into your bloodstream, you feel fantastic! We all know that wonderful feeling, not to mention the added perks of developing social skills, the joy of a team or comraderie that you feel when you interacting with others. Coping skills, winning and losing, sacrifice and so much more are all just great pros of sports and physcial activity in general. There is virtually NOTHING redeeming about sitting glued to a computer playing an interactive computer game other than honing your computer skills and getting awfully good at typing! I mean come on you are shooting benign little characters for Petes sake! GET REAL. Lets not foget that just a few decades ago these were NON EXISTENT, not at all a part of our culture, and then we had far less suicides, depression amongst teens, school shootings, drug and alcohol abuse. Do I think its interconnected and related? ABSOLUTELY 100%!!</p>

71

<p>"I will mention a product that can be used to help. CyberPatrol."</p>

<p>My high school son found a way around it in less than a week. It may work for young kids that are less computer savvy, though. For computer whizs, no chance!!!</p>

72

<p>NYMOMOF4,</p>

<p>
[quote]
Thats right! THe game TO ME is meaningless, to see my son isolated in his room without any human interaction, without being outside under the sun and breathing in fresh air, is a real problem To see him literally hypmotized to a screen TO ME is meaningless, in fact I would venture to say most parents in my position feel EXACTLY this way.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>If you play an MMO (online game) you DO get human interaction, but it's sorta filtered into a digital medium.</p>

<p>
[quote]
ports are a proven stress reliever, a great medicine for both mind and soul. Its a fact that when you exercie, once the feel good chemicals get released into your bloodstream, you feel fantastic! We all know that wonderful feeling, not to mention the added perks of developing social skills, the joy of a team or comraderie that you feel when you interacting with others.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>What if you play golf? Where's the teamwork there? How about surfing? No, not all sports develop social skills.</p>

<p>Besides, who said that you don't develop teamwork in a game that REQUIRES you to work in groups and strategically plan your actions? </p>

<p>
[quote]
There is virtually NOTHING redeeming about sitting glued to a computer playing an interactive computer game other than honing your computer skills and getting awfully good at typing! I mean come on you are shooting benign little characters for Petes sake!

[/quote]
</p>

<p>This is any worse than swatting at little balls? What "redeeming qualities" does archery have, based on your criteria so far? </p>

<p>
[quote]
Lets not foget that just a few decades ago these were NON EXISTENT, not at all a part of our culture, and then we had far less suicides, depression amongst teens, school shootings, drug and alcohol abuse. Do I think its interconnected and related? ABSOLUTELY 100%!!

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Yeah, correlation ALWAYS equals causation. You know what else we didn't have a few decades ago? DVDs! They must be causing drug and alcohol abuse!</p>

73

<p>As a veteran parent of the teen/computer game wars, I would submit that there is most definitely a psychological "rush" to the gaming that is akin to the endorphine-release of physical activity. That is why the games are so addicting. According to my son, who played a single game for four years straight and got deeply involved in the whole on-line friends/clan thing in the professional game world, there is no comparison to the mental thrill which drives the desire. Sports can be equally addicting, but addictive behaviors of any kind (mental or physical) are unhealthy. As with all things, the key is moderation.</p>

74

<p>
[quote]
As with all things, the key is moderation.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>EXACTLY. The problem isn't gaming, it's people who can't limit themselves. I may love games and spend a fair amount of energy on them, but I know when to quit (usually whenever I have to go running or watch 24). </p>

<p>I mean, I run a lot, and I love it, but I'm not going to pretend that it's an inherently "better" activity than gaming (maybe health wise, but I don't develop any particular skills.) I mean, people praise Bobby Fischer for being some chess genius, but is that any better that someone who's a genius at a strategy game?</p>

75

<p>Okay, I was on-board with this topic until we started bashing the games themselves. The games my son plays at least are not shoot-em-up games. They are very, very, involved and not that easy to play or understand. The kids that I know that play these games are generally very smart. Also, there is a big social aspect to multi-player games such as WOW. My son knows many people in his guild as well as I know some people from college bulletin boards that I've never met in real life.... We did a trial with cyberpatrol and it not only messed up my son's computer but he also figured out how to circumvent it very quickly.</p>

76

<p>kathiep,</p>

<p>I agree wholeheartedly, but I just have to give a bit on the interaction: The Internet changes interaction quite a bit. I tend to find that people actually become a bit more..."passionate" online.</p>

77

<p>and to whoever stated there is no stress relief in playing games - my college roommate used to play warcraft when she was stressed out about things. she would sit there, build up armies, and play till she was calmed down. it was easy for her to take her mind off other things and work on the game. i'd also like to add that she graduated witha 3.8 GPA... and she was a member of an honors fraternity, various other clubs, and knew a ton of people on campus... even though she played her game frequently..</p>

<p>and to xiggi, it's Curt Shilling... not Kurt. </p>

<p>I think people who are doing this bashing really don't know because they haven't played. Nobody forces you to sit there and play a game for 24 hours. I have an account on WOW and i play it once every blue moon.. when I"m bored. Not everyone who plays things like that are "addicted". </p>

<p>You also get to meet people from around the world - many of whom you wouldn't of met any other way. I've played MMO's with pro sports players (whose names I won't go around listing) and would of never met them otherwise... as a result I now do web design for one of them... i've been in a guild on WOW with the developers of the game from Blizzard... I've had many 1 on 1 conversations with developers from EA... etc</p>

<p>people don't think about these things when you think about gaming. Think about all the connections your kids could make. Especially if they want to become a programmer or something like that, actually knowing people at E3 or Blizzard the way I do... it can really get you a thumbs up in the industry.</p>

78

<p>and nymomof4.. we better get rid of your computer, and your internet connection.. because it could be leading to depression or suicide in your house... because these things didn't exist decades ago. We better get rid of cars, airplanes, cd's, etc as well...</p>

<p>i don't think you should be bashing games which you've obviously never played before. many of them take a lot of skill to play. you can work with other people, come up with this and that, you can plan out strategies, meet people around the world, even meet up with these people in real life (they actually do have meetings and conventions where players meet each other)...</p>

79

<p>fendergirl,</p>

<p>One of my goals is to hit up BlizzCon this year! It's like my freakin' Mecca!</p>

80

<p>Parents need to be careful what they ask for. A son's game addiction is a lot easier to deal with than an alcohol addiction, drug addiction, or (the worst!) a bad girlfriend addiction.</p>

<p>Also, I am worried about my sons' grandmother's addiction to bridge. She plays three days a week at different senior citizen's centers and is obsessed with racking up something called master's points in tournaments. She also keeps trying to get her grandchildren hooked on the game, but so far (thank God) they are more interested in computer games.</p>