This kind of indifference or negativity can be related to many things, beyond the ingratitude it can feel like. Choosing something new with real world consequences and a huge price tag can be overwhelming. Perhaps better to ally one’s fears by deciding that you may not even want X college anyways; before they can reject you or be deemed unaffordable.
With the advantage of hindsight, it seems that the most helpful thing was to use what we knew about how each kid handled transitions.Out of all the angst can come not only a careful college search, but also a kid who knows him or herself better and eventually, parents who can exhale.